I have felt powerless, and I held myself back on numerous occasions. I believe we all do at certain times in our lives. When an important decision has to be made, or life throws a big challenge at us, we can feel overwhelmed and afraid and decide, consciously or not, that we cannot face it, that we are not ready, or not capable, or that we won’t survive.

See yourself in front of a serious illness diagnosis, on the brink of divorce without financial means, or wanting to leave a job you hate but that gives you the security and salary you desire. What do we do in these situations? I don’t know about you, but I take a lot of time to make decisions, especially the big ones. I have stayed in relationships where I didn’t belong anymore for too long. I have taken so much time to change my life because I wasn’t feeling powerful enough. Has this happened to you, too?

Why do we do that? Why do we wait to create change, knowing intuitively that there is something better out there waiting for us? Once you have gone through the process and survived, you may look backward and ask yourself, why didn’t you change this before? But at the moment, to face that challenge felt like the end of your life and the world you knew. ​

You may want to change some aspect of your personality or behavior. Becoming the best you can be is a great resolution; the problem is that we usually embark on this process by judging ourselves harshly. The best way to change something is to do it for Love, Love for yourself. Do you want to quit smoking or start exercising? Do you want to be healthier or lose some pounds? Do you want to be kinder or less frustrated? Any of these changes require that you Love yourself more than you do right now.

A good beginning for achieving change is to accept the situation you are in, and yourself as you are. A sense of acceptance also means that you don’t reject yourself because you are not the way you want to be or your life doesn’t look like you expected. Choose to change because you want to, because it is good for you. Don’t do it by denying Love for yourself or torturing yourself. If you don’t feel like changing anything right now, don’t do it. Be free to choose. Be patient and honest with yourself. Don’t create an inner war.

Forgiving yourself allows you to start from scratch in this changing process. Maybe you have tried to change the same thing several times, and you failed. Then you face the challenge of change from a deep feeling of not being capable, which won’t help you. Let’s start with a clean slate. This is a new situation, and you are not the same person you were even yesterday. You can do things differently; you may feel more powerful now, have more resources than before, or feel more motivated and empowered after reading these lines.

Changing your state of being will provoke external changes that will make it easier for you to change. One key element of changing anything in your life is to change the opinion you have about yourself. Do you see yourself as a champion, capable, intelligent, wise, and ready to face any challenge in life? That’s great news! But if you are locked into your story of failure for something you experienced in the past or that is happening now, or you feel you are not good enough, it will complicate the process. ​

If you blame yourself for lost opportunities, failures, mistakes, wrongdoings, and cannot let go of the idea that there is something wrong with you, it will be difficult to ever consider changing. That is the real reason we get stuck in life. Something happens to us, and we cannot move forward. It may be a divorce, being fired, losing someone you Love, or something you value. After one big hurtful event or a combination of many small experiences, we keep walking ahead, but we do it deeply wounded. We have a wound in the place that hurts the most: our worthiness, sense of importance, and uniqueness.

But you can release whatever happened to you in the past. You can forgive yourself and start anew. Even the most traumatic events will be part of your story, but they won’t determine your future unless you allow it to happen. The essential part of change is to commit to loving yourself no matter what. Once you decide it, when you feel it deeply and understand how to do it, you will realize that you are more important than what holds you back from changing, and you will be ready to take action. 

Taking action will mean focusing on the new You you are building, in the new reality you are creating. Instead of fighting with the old You to change it, you can create a different You with new values and belief systems that support you. Imagine a new You that is understanding, compassionate, and kind to yourself—a being that always has words of Love for you and not harsh words. 

Whom would you be if you didn’t believe anymore that there was something wrong with you or your life? I want to meet this new You who is aware of their imperfections but accepts all of them with a smile and keeps walking through life, one step at a time, recognizing their essence of Love. The only reason to change is Love. Feel free to choose Love. When you connect with the Love inside yourself, you will be changed.
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​The value you think you have determines your perception of your own worth. People believe that their value is based on their accomplishments and all they have achieved. But self-worth shouldn’t be measured in external things but in who you are. There is nothing you need to do or be to be worthy. You are worthy because you exist, because you are yourself. 

Feeling worthy is connected with knowing who you are and owning your gifts and talents. Nobody can take your worth away except yourself. What you think about yourself determines your importance, independently of what others believe you are capable of or what you can have or do. 

We often seek approval or validation from others to create an opinion about ourselves. We struggle to believe that we are worthy because we rely on what others think, or on the rules society imposes, more than on what we feel about ourselves. We look outside to see if we fit and how valuable we are. If others have more, we are less. If we have more, it seems we are doing ok. 

When you compare yourself with others, you may think you are less than them or not good enough. The root cause of this can be a lack of acceptance of who you are. Maybe you are judging yourself so hard because of the expectations you have set. The non-accomplished plans can make you feel that you haven’t arrived at the point you wanted to be in life. As a result, you are less than you wanted to be, which provokes enormous suffering.

​Lack of money, education, status, relationships, or opportunities doesn’t make you less worthy. But what you think about yourself and your shortcomings affects your perception of your worth. If you don’t know who you really are and what you bring to the world with your presence, it will be difficult for you to understand how valuable you are. The cultivation of appreciation for yourself, just for who you are, will make it easier to understand your worth as a being.  

Maybe you are thinking, “What am I worthy of?” You are worthy of Love, abundance, freedom, opportunities, and much more. You are worthy of enjoying life. We try to earn Love and worthiness by giving. The less worthy we feel, the more we focus on giving. There has to be a balance between giving and receiving. 

Feeling worthy means opening your doors to receive what you deserve, what you feel can be yours. Get ready for that. Focus on welcoming and celebrating what you feel worthy of. Connect with what is already yours. Stop trying so hard to make things happen. Recognize your value. There is nothing to do, nothing to work on, nothing to wait for. The only necessary thing is being yourself. That’s enough. Relax.

​We all want to be loved and appreciated for who we are. We wish to establish relationships that are easy and bring amazing Love and happiness to our lives. But many times, we have problems in our relationships, and we suffer. Love becomes a complicated matter. How can we learn to Love better? By loving. Loving more and more.

Love starts within yourself. The greatest Love of all, is the Love you have for yourself. The more Self-Love you cultivate, the more Love you will generate and can share with others. When you are in a relationship, you share the Love that you already have. Love is not an exchange: you give me your Love, and I give you mine. It becomes something greater when you don’t put limits or conditions on your Love, and you Love freely and abundantly.

Love Yourself to avoid complications in relationships. When problems arise, it may seem difficult not to take things personally in your relationships. But the way the other person acts only demonstrates who they are, not the amount of Love of which you are worthy. It is easy to interpret what others do to you and the pain you receive as: “I don’t deserve their Love,” “There is something wrong with me,” or “I am not good enough to be loved.” The more you Love yourself, the better you will avoid relationships where there is conflict and power struggles, judgments, the need to control, or drama.

​If there is something you want to change, such as a relationship that is not working, or the fact that people starve, don’t get angry, frustrated, or disappointed by the situation. Instead, add more Love into it by setting the intention that it can be resolved, that we can agree and take action to find a solution. Send your Love energetically, don’t ignore the situation. Trust that Love can affect and change it. Your Love can transform the world. This is how powerful Love is. The way you live and lead with Love will touch others, creating a more loving world.

Tune into the Love that exists. There is Love around you. If you pay attention, you will see it and feel it. A family sharing a meal, a kid’s hug to a parent, a couple’s kiss of Love, a big smile someone offers you in a shop, the waiter that takes care of you lovingly in a restaurant, a colleague that provides a helping hand, a friend’s invitation for dinner...

Look around and you will see a different world, one where Love is present and alive. A planet where Love exists and heals the wounds we have. Becoming more loving every day is up to you. Nothing has to change for you to do it. It all depends on you. Don’t wait until Love appears in your life; show your Love and more Love will arrive into your life.

For some people, it is easier to give than to receive. We receive many instructions about how important it is to give during our education and in our culture. Good people Love and give to others is a message imprinted in our minds. We have many opportunities for giving, for being there when others need us, volunteering, checking on others, helping not only those you Love but everyone. And you get something out of it as well; it makes you feel great. It is so rewarding to serve others, to give, to offer what you have.

Maybe nobody has explained to you that it is equally important to receive gracefully. We cannot only emphasize giving and forget the other end. Never put conditions to the Love you receive. Accept it with an open heart and be grateful for it. If something arrives to you it is because you deserve it. Be ready to receive without feeling that you have to give something in return. It is time to receive! 

You cannot receive what you don’t believe can be yours. Feeling unworthy of something guarantees that you cannot have it, and you may even reject it. Someone may offer you their Love and care, but you cannot accept or feel it because you don’t think you deserve it. Love is real when there is a flow of giving and receiving, when balance exists. We know how to Love, it is natural, but we often put limits to the Love we receive from others, stopping it from getting to us. ​​

The poet Rumi asked in one of his works: do you make regular visits to yourself? It is an important question because we tend to forget that we need to be in a good relationship with ourselves. This is the most important relationship you will ever establish. These visits may consist of a silent walk, a time to reflect, journal or write, meditate, or ask yourself questions. The activity doesn’t really matter, it is about devoting time to you and your inner sacred center or essence.
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In recent studies, scientists have detected that most of the time we are not present where we are. Our mind wanders. It is the way it is. But what you have to know is that we can train the mind to wander less and be more present in the activity or moment where we are now. It doesn’t require extensive training, just to pay attention, more at the beginning, until you know how to be more in the present than in the past or future. It is easier than you think, and the benefits of being with yourself in the present are enormous. 

I invite you to try. Don’t waste more time. You are invited to a special party. It is called Me and I. You are the only one invited. It is an opportunity to know yourself better. You are going to have a great time if you want to. Drop any expectations. Go there with an open heart and a Love Letter written to yourself. You can’t miss this opportunity of being intimate with yourself. Love yourself for no reason. You deserve your Love. Don’t look at what is missing or what you would like to be. Focus on becoming just you. Appreciate what you have and who you are now. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. I am sure you are unique, and there is only one like you. I Love you as you are.

We are the ones that should recognize our value, gifts, talents, and who we are, but we tend to look for recognition and a pat on the back from others. If you only consider yourself important when someone tells you that you are, or when you have accomplished what you wanted, or overcome a challenge, something is missing. 

You need to be your number one fan, your cheerleader, your best friend. You have to take care of yourself as if you were a child who needs your support. Take care of yourself, be kind and see all the good things you bring to the world daily. Yes, you do bring things to the world, even if you are unaware of it.

It is challenging to have a good relationship with yourself if you suffer from self-pressure and stress yourself to perform all your tasks perfectly. It is ok to do your best. Don’t be so strict and difficult with yourself! Embody fierce compassion towards yourself instead. You are not here to be perfect or to do things. You were created to be you. 

Appreciate yourself just because you exist. Your creation was a divine act. Life is a gift you can never take for granted. Look for little moments to remind yourself: Wow! I am alive. I exist. Life has been given to me. Connect with everything around you. Look at the sky, the clouds, the trees you see through the window of your home or office or while you walk in the street, and remind yourself that life is a miracle. ​

​Some of the things you did not say because you did not want to argue or upset another person, or the occasions when you could not say what you thought or felt because the other person was more powerful than you, like a boss, a parent, or any other authority figure, remain in your system. If you accumulate so much and never free yourself of it, your physical body gets affected, stressed, and you can become sick.

We tend to please others, especially because we want their Love and acceptance. Sometimes you may be afraid of the consequences of saying what you really believe, and decide not to do it and keep it to yourself. Exactly at this moment you stop being your authentic self. There are moments when you may be afraid of losing the Love of someone, or being abandoned, and you conform yourself to a situation and become small. In some cases, you may not know how to set up boundaries, and others pass your limits and abuse you. How many times have you experienced any of these scenarios?

Don't be afraid of looking inside yourself. I invite you to do some inner work. You may think that you don't need to, but all that is happening in your inner world is affecting your reality. It will be very difficult to change your circumstances, not to say impossible, if you don't change what is happening within you. Inside yourself, you will find all the pain stuffed, but also all your potential and creativity; you will be able to know the real you, and to connect with your intuition. You will discover yourself and reconnect with your source of Love, Self-Love, and find the joy and happiness that you seek and deserve.