The value you think you have determines your perception of your own worth. People believe that their value is based on their accomplishments and all they have achieved. But self-worth shouldn’t be measured in external things but in who you are. There is nothing you need to do or be to be worthy. You are worthy because you exist, because you are yourself.
Feeling worthy is connected with knowing who you are and owning your gifts and talents. Nobody can take your worth away except yourself. What you think about yourself determines your importance, independently of what others believe you are capable of or what you can have or do.
We often seek approval or validation from others to create an opinion about ourselves. We struggle to believe that we are worthy because we rely on what others think, or on the rules society imposes, more than on what we feel about ourselves. We look outside to see if we fit and how valuable we are. If others have more, we are less. If we have more, it seems we are doing ok.
When you compare yourself with others, you may think you are less than them or not good enough. The root cause of this can be a lack of acceptance of who you are. Maybe you are judging yourself so hard because of the expectations you have set. The non-accomplished plans can make you feel that you haven’t arrived at the point you wanted to be in life. As a result, you are less than you wanted to be, which provokes enormous suffering.
Lack of money, education, status, relationships, or opportunities doesn’t make you less worthy. But what you think about yourself and your shortcomings affects your perception of your worth. If you don’t know who you really are and what you bring to the world with your presence, it will be difficult for you to understand how valuable you are. The cultivation of appreciation for yourself, just for who you are, will make it easier to understand your worth as a being.
Maybe you are thinking, “What am I worthy of?” You are worthy of Love, abundance, freedom, opportunities, and much more. You are worthy of enjoying life. We try to earn Love and worthiness by giving. The less worthy we feel, the more we focus on giving. There has to be a balance between giving and receiving.
Feeling worthy means opening your doors to receive what you deserve, what you feel can be yours. Get ready for that. Focus on welcoming and celebrating what you feel worthy of. Connect with what is already yours. Stop trying so hard to make things happen. Recognize your value. There is nothing to do, nothing to work on, nothing to wait for. The only necessary thing is being yourself. That’s enough. Relax.
“There is nothing so rewarding as to make people realize that they are
worthwhile in this world”
We all want to be loved and appreciated for who we are. We wish to establish relationships that are easy and bring amazing Love and happiness to our lives. But many times, we have problems in our relationships, and we suffer. Love becomes a complicated matter. How can we learn to Love better? By loving. Loving more and more.
Love starts within yourself. The greatest Love of all, is the Love you have for yourself. The more Self-Love you cultivate, the more Love you will generate and can share with others. When you are in a relationship, you share the Love that you already have. Love is not an exchange: you give me your Love, and I give you mine. It becomes something greater when you don’t put limits or conditions on your Love, and you Love freely and abundantly.
Love Yourself to avoid complications in relationships. When problems arise, it may seem difficult not to take things personally in your relationships. But the way the other person acts only demonstrates who they are, not the amount of Love of which you are worthy. It is easy to interpret what others do to you and the pain you receive as: “I don’t deserve their Love,” “There is something wrong with me,” or “I am not good enough to be loved.” The more you Love yourself, the better you will avoid relationships where there is conflict and power struggles, judgments, the need to control, or drama.
Love brings out the best in yourself. When you establish a relationship of any kind, remember that one of the purposes of relationships is that we are together to grow together. There are relationships that bring out the best of who you are. Just because you are with that person, you become a better you. These are the ones you should cultivate. You don’t have to share the same opinions about everything, but you need to respect the other person and give them enough room to grow. Look for what unites you, and don’t focus on your differences and what separates you.
Love is not about solving someone else’s life. When you Love someone, you may feel the temptation of helping the other person “too much,” trying to fix their problems, saving them from their challenges, or sacrificing yourself for their wellbeing. When you do that, you are not really loving the other person; you may be controlling them. You take away their opportunities to change, grow and learn in their own way, or make their decisions.
To be real, Love has to be free. It cannot be managed or strategized. It has to flow. Pay attention to yourself to discover patterns of thought or behavior that you may not have realized. For example, when you fear being abandoned, this fear can be triggered unexpectedly. If you are afraid of losing Love, you may change your behavior to be sure you please the other person and that the relationship continues. What you don’t realize is that you stop being yourself. You disappear and give your power away to be sure the other person stays in the relationship, because to receive their Love is more important than yourself. You are not free anymore; you are attached to a Love you don’t want to lose.
Love is a decision you make daily. It is not a passing feeling. It is a state of being. You decide to Love. You can Love others in spite of who they are because it is your decision. You decide with whom you share your Love. You can Love the entire Universe and everything on it, including its oceans, trees, and animals, or just your loved ones. It is up to you. The more Love you share, the more you will receive. It multiplies. The Love you give will always return to you. Love is always within YOU.
"We really have to understand the person we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess,
it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs
and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love"
Thich Nhat Hanh
There are moments in life where you have to find the necessary strength to go through tough situations and challenges in your life. It may feel impossible to overcome something when you don’t have the energy for it, or you feel like a failure and defeated. If many things accumulate, it may seem too much for you to work it all out, and you may want to give up. We all have experienced times of crisis, faced health or relationship problems, lost someone we loved, had financial difficulties, or suffered through other major events, such as a pandemic.
In those moments, you may think that everything is complicated, that life is against you, or that you are having a streak of bad luck. It is common for us to blame the circumstances, other people, or try to run away from problems. I invite you to face these times with understanding and kindness towards yourself. You are what matters the most! Don’t judge yourself for what you are going through, don’t get stuck there. You need to support yourself when all gets dark, uncomfortable, or scary. You deserve your own Love. The better you treat yourself in difficult moments, the more energy you will have to overcome them.
The situation you are in is not your fault. Don’t look at yourself as the guilty party. But you are the one that can transform this situation. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself. It means you need to execute your response-ability. You are capable of choosing how to respond. You won’t be able to change what is happening, but you can answer life and the circumstances you are in the way you want. This is your life, and it is for you to decide how to live it.
There is always something you can do while living thru this stage of your life in which you are suffering. The first is accepting what is happening and having the self-honesty to see it. Look at it from a non-judgmental perspective. You cannot resolve a situation by becoming your own enemy, criticizing yourself for where you are or is not working in your life. Self-forgiveness can help you release those things in the past that you want to let go of, and set yourself free to build the life you want.
Stop telling yourself that you are not capable or good enough to overcome something, and empower yourself instead. Build resilience. Observe the moment and yourself mindfully. This situation might be an opportunity to change a belief or understand your feelings by being with them. Maybe you will discover that you are stronger than you imagine. Remember other challenges you overcame and how you felt about yourself when it happened. Remember that you are always supported by the Universe, even when you feel alone or lost. You are loved as you are.
Ask yourself how you can look differently at your life situation, how you can adopt a different perspective of what is happening. It will allow you to make a shift. Don’t focus only on where you are, and the present problem or pain. Look for what will come after what is happening now. Connect with the life you want to build from now on and with a beautiful future ahead. There is a new reality waiting for you, and you need to get there. You can get there at your own pace. Don’t rush or pressure yourself. Do it for yourself. You can transform your life. I believe in you, and you should too.
“It’s part of life to have obstacles. It’s about overcoming obstacles;
that’s the key to happiness”
Love is the powerful force that connects all of us, and all that exists. It is the reason for our existence and the energy that transforms us. How can it be more present in our lives? Love is an energy you can tap. It is not a passing feeling. It is an option you have to choose. Demonstrate your Love with your actions. Choose to respond to your life experiences with Love. Strong Love, true Love, Love with power, Love that stays present, is compassionate, and never gives up.
You can start by adding more Love to the relationship with yourself. Appreciate who you are. Give yourself more hugs. The more connected you are with Love, the better you will be able to share it with those around you in the form of kindness, peacefulness, smiles, and other acts of Love. Every little Love gesture counts and adds to the total. Don’t miss any opportunity to be more loving and less critical with yourself.
You can connect with the Love and experience it inside yourself as frequently as you want. It takes just a couple of minutes, and it is very rewarding. You can do this by thinking of someone you Love deeply, like your children or pet, anyone who allows you to feel Love instantly. You can also remember a loving moment you shared with someone. Be there, feel it, dive into it. Stay there enjoying the moment. Just focus on Love.
If there is something you want to change, such as a relationship that is not working, or the fact that people starve, don’t get angry, frustrated, or disappointed by the situation. Instead, add more Love into it by setting the intention that it can be resolved, that we can agree and take action to find a solution. Send your Love energetically, don’t ignore the situation. Trust that Love can affect and change it. Your Love can transform the world. This is how powerful Love is. The way you live and lead with Love will touch others, creating a more loving world.
Tune into the Love that exists. There is Love around you. If you pay attention, you will see it and feel it. A family sharing a meal, a kid’s hug to a parent, a couple’s kiss of Love, a big smile someone offers you in a shop, the waiter that takes care of you lovingly in a restaurant, a colleague that provides a helping hand, a friend’s invitation for dinner...
Look around and you will see a different world, one where Love is present and alive. A planet where Love exists and heals the wounds we have. Becoming more loving every day is up to you. Nothing has to change for you to do it. It all depends on you. Don’t wait until Love appears in your life; show your Love and more Love will arrive into your life.
"Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier."
For some people, it is easier to give than to receive. We receive many instructions about how important it is to give during our education and in our culture. Good people Love and give to others is a message imprinted in our minds. We have many opportunities for giving, for being there when others need us, volunteering, checking on others, helping not only those you Love but everyone. And you get something out of it as well; it makes you feel great. It is so rewarding to serve others, to give, to offer what you have.
Maybe nobody has explained to you that it is equally important to receive gracefully. We cannot only emphasize giving and forget the other end. Never put conditions to the Love you receive. Accept it with an open heart and be grateful for it. If something arrives to you it is because you deserve it. Be ready to receive without feeling that you have to give something in return. It is time to receive!
You cannot receive what you don’t believe can be yours. Feeling unworthy of something guarantees that you cannot have it, and you may even reject it. Someone may offer you their Love and care, but you cannot accept or feel it because you don’t think you deserve it. Love is real when there is a flow of giving and receiving, when balance exists. We know how to Love, it is natural, but we often put limits to the Love we receive from others, stopping it from getting to us.
You are a precious gift. Your uniqueness makes you special. Share yourself. Give yourself to others. Show the world who you are. Express your gifts. Don’t hide thinking that you are not good enough to be seen for who you are. You are not just one more human being. There is only one like you. Share your Love, smile, hugs, laughter, conversation, insights, compassion, your sense of humor. Give all of who you are and see what comes back to you.
We also have to learn how to give to ourselves. We, inadvertently, may put ourselves last on our list. We keep giving until we are depleted. This Love, care, time, and attention you give to others, turn it in on yourself. Do it because you Love yourself. You deserve your own Love. You need the understanding and nurturing you offer to everyone. Devote time to know what you need and give it to you.
I lost myself in relationships where I thought I had to give and give more to keep the relationship alive. I abandoned myself to nurture others. Now I know that it doesn’t work to give in this way. There has to be balance. There are moments to give, and it is so pleasurable to do it. But Love is not sacrificing. We need to replenish our batteries before they are empty, or we won’t be able to continue giving. In Love, we support others, but we need to support ourselves and be supported as well. Live and give Love, and open yourself to receiving it.
"He had always known that to truly receive, you had to give. Now he understood the equal truth: that to be able to give with a whole heart you had to be prepared to receive in turn”
Have you asked yourself what stops you from creating the life you would Love to live? Maybe you have felt that on one side you have your dreams and desires, and on the other, there seems to be a force that holds you back from achieving them. There may be many different reasons why your life doesn’t look the way you want, but you are the most important one.
Are you saying no to opportunities and changes that can improve your life? Maybe you do it unconsciously because you are afraid or don’t feel ready for a challenge. Perhaps because the routine in your life has taken over, you don’t look for anything different and have accommodated to what every day brings.
You are a powerful being and a creator. I want to invite you to connect with your inner courage, to recover your old dreams, to find the necessary confidence to live life on your own terms. I know you can do it! Start today. Just a small step can give you the energy you need to continue. Do something that will take you nearer to where you want to be.
Maybe you have stopped believing in yourself. It happens when one feels like a failure, when you lose your confidence, when a challenge seems too big. Because of the accumulation of life situations we encounter, you may have adopted the idea that you cannot change your life, that you are not capable. Find out what you think of yourself and transform what doesn’t serve you.
A long time ago, you may have arrived at certain conclusions about who you are, and you have even forgotten the reason you have these opinions. But who told you they are true? It is an opinion, and it can be changed. As a consequence of these beliefs, you may take actions that go against yourself. For example, constantly procrastinating, starting something and giving up, or blaming the circumstances or other people.
It is important to discover the beliefs that you have about yourself. Words you heard in the past or during your childhood, from any of the authority figures important for you, may still be totally present. They can influence the ideas that you have about what you can or cannot do. Identify and let them go. They are stories of the past. If you change your ideas about yourself, you will change the future you create.
Look at the conversations you have in your mind and see if there is enough appreciation for who you are. You are an amazing being. Allow yourself to shine. Can you see yourself as an important person that deserves happiness and fulfillment? I am sure you can. You need to start looking at yourself with more Love, care, and kindness, through compassionate eyes.
What other people think about you it is not your business. You can release others’ opinions about you. Give yourself permission to be you. Discover how amazing you are. Go inside and see all the beauty and Love within. Don’t look only at your flaws and wounds. Focus on your worth as your birthright. It is constant. You can never lose it. It is yours independently of your accomplishments in life. You are free to be. This is your life. It is yours to make.
“Lead a life of your own design, on your own terms. Not one that others
or the environment have scripted for you”
Being with yourself means spending time in your own company. It is becoming aware of what is happening within yourself, internally, and not only around yourself. You have a world inside that you may not have discovered yet. If you pay attention, you will distinguish more than thoughts in your mind or sensations in your body. You will be able to receive messages, guidance, helpful information, and become more aligned and balanced.
It is difficult to spend time with someone you dislike. Sometimes we run away from ourselves for this reason. If you don’t have a good opinion of yourself and your life, it may not sound like a good plan to hang out with yourself. A good beginning will be to look at yourself with new eyes and from a different perspective. It is necessary that you appreciate your gifts more than your flaws. Judgmental thoughts and not being able to forgive yourself can be the reason why it is difficult to feel connected to and good about yourself.
When you are with someone you Love, you pay attention to their likes and dislikes, needs and desires, what they say, and their body language. You look into the eyes of the person. You are present, totally there. But what do you do when you are with yourself? You forget you exist most of the time. You don’t take good care of yourself because other things or people are priorities, you don’t listen to your body and its messages or red flags, you ignore what your feelings are trying to say… In summary: You treat those you Love better than you treat yourself.
The poet Rumi asked in one of his works: do you make regular visits to yourself? It is an important question because we tend to forget that we need to be in a good relationship with ourselves. This is the most important relationship you will ever establish. These visits may consist of a silent walk, a time to reflect, journal or write, meditate, or ask yourself questions. The activity doesn’t really matter, it is about devoting time to you and your inner sacred center or essence.
In recent studies, scientists have detected that most of the time we are not present where we are. Our mind wanders. It is the way it is. But what you have to know is that we can train the mind to wander less and be more present in the activity or moment where we are now. It doesn’t require extensive training, just to pay attention, more at the beginning, until you know how to be more in the present than in the past or future. It is easier than you think, and the benefits of being with yourself in the present are enormous.
I invite you to try. Don’t waste more time. You are invited to a special party. It is called Me and I. You are the only one invited. It is an opportunity to know yourself better. You are going to have a great time if you want to. Drop any expectations. Go there with an open heart and a Love Letter written to yourself. You can’t miss this opportunity of being intimate with yourself. Love yourself for no reason. You deserve your Love. Don’t look at what is missing or what you would like to be. Focus on becoming just you. Appreciate what you have and who you are now. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. I am sure you are unique, and there is only one like you. I Love you as you are.
"Sometimes you just have to turn off the lights, sit in the dark,
and see what happens inside of you"
We are the ones that should recognize our value, gifts, talents, and who we are, but we tend to look for recognition and a pat on the back from others. If you only consider yourself important when someone tells you that you are, or when you have accomplished what you wanted, or overcome a challenge, something is missing.
You need to be your number one fan, your cheerleader, your best friend. You have to take care of yourself as if you were a child who needs your support. Take care of yourself, be kind and see all the good things you bring to the world daily. Yes, you do bring things to the world, even if you are unaware of it.
It is challenging to have a good relationship with yourself if you suffer from self-pressure and stress yourself to perform all your tasks perfectly. It is ok to do your best. Don’t be so strict and difficult with yourself! Embody fierce compassion towards yourself instead. You are not here to be perfect or to do things. You were created to be you.
Appreciate yourself just because you exist. Your creation was a divine act. Life is a gift you can never take for granted. Look for little moments to remind yourself: Wow! I am alive. I exist. Life has been given to me. Connect with everything around you. Look at the sky, the clouds, the trees you see through the window of your home or office or while you walk in the street, and remind yourself that life is a miracle.
Every baby step you take towards any of your dreams should be celebrated. Life is a collection of moments, a continuous present. Don’t wait until you finish a task or accomplish something. Look at the step-by-step process as a source of joy. Be sure you enjoy life. Try not to go on autopilot and don’t allow days to go by, waiting for something better to arrive. Live now! Be content with what is, start where you are.
Celebrate life. You can create new circumstances at any moment. Your life can change for good in the next instant. You don’t have to live the same life day after day. Ask yourself questions. What things would you like to change? What attachments don’t allow you to move forward? What relationships do you want to strengthen or abandon? What are you afraid of?
Ask for help. Ask what you need from the Universe. Trust yourself and your capabilities to be a co-creator of your life. Whatever you want exists out there. Do you want more Love? Abundance? Time? Health? Everything is waiting for you in the field of opportunities and it is available for you. Never deny yourself what is your birthright. Live to the fullest.
There is no need for a crisis or facing an illness to realize that you matter and your happiness is essential. You exist for a reason. You and only you can be yourself. Whatever you decide to do with your life will affect all that exists on Earth and the Universe. We are all connected and influence each other energetically. You are not alone. We are all One.
“You are wonderful. Valuable. Worthwhile. Lovable. Not because others think so.
Self-worth comes from only one place: self”
Love is always available, always ready for you. You are loved, exactly as you are. Love doesn’t make distinctions and, like the sun, shines for everybody, including you. When you feel unlovable, it is because at that moment you cannot connect with Love. The paradox is that you won’t be able to receive Love from others until you can connect with the Love for yourself.
Love starts within you. Appreciation for who you are, gratitude for all you have received, and self-reflection on your qualities and gifts will help you reopen the door of your heart and Love fully, totally, unconditionally.
Love is the key to resolving any issue or challenge you have. Allow Love to guide your life. When you are afraid, connect with Love and you will feel powerful. When you feel sad, share your Love with others and you will feel an instant shift. When you feel unlovable or rejected, pause, and look for Love within yourself, this is true Love. When you are in pain, send some Love to the part of yourself that is aching and take proper care of it.
Love can never hurt you or disappoint you. Maybe your heart was broken or is aching right now, but that’s not Love’s fault. Love is the healing force that will help it heal it. If a relationship, of any kind, doesn’t work the way you want, don’t get angry, disappointed, or sad, and put more Love into it.
Love is the solution, not the problem. Once you can Love someone in spite of who they are, then you can leave the relationship without any loose ends or unfinished business. Love, and forgiveness, are what cures all, the Love for yourself.
Love will never leave you because it lives within you. Love is energy and, like any other energy, it cannot be destroyed, only transformed. Your loved ones who are not with you anymore still Love you and take care of you. You may not feel it, but ancestors, many other beings, and loved ones who passed away, are there for you. They are still alive in your heart and in all the Love you shared. Love will never abandon you because it is eternal. Believe in Love!
"Love is a state of being. Your Love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it,
and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form"
It seems normal to be looking for potential danger and avoiding risks, and it is a survival mechanism that we all have installed in our systems, but it is not all that great if you want to have a joyful life. It is so easy to see what is lacking, to see what you don’t have, or to focus on what is waiting to be solved, that you may forget to focus on what works and on what you have right now.
When your mind is busy looking for solutions to existent (and inexistent) problems, and always focusing on what can go wrong, you energetically live in a world of difficulties and negativity, always having to solve something and unable to relax and enjoy the present moment.
Reality shows us that we can find many problems every day to keep us terribly busy. But how you look at your problems determines your ability to overcome them. Are your problems obstacles, challenges, opportunities to grow, situations that will pass, or something you will be helped with or guided to resolve? Do you feel you have the power to overcome them?
One of the things that will help you to feel more confident and to find the strength you need to overcome any situation in life, is to focus on what is working, in the positive, in what you have in your life. Reflect on all those great things you don’t value or even notice.
Appreciate what you have, not only in the material world, like a safe place to live in, but also the Love and the good things you receive every day. The sunrise, the trees, the breeze in your face, the song of a bird, a nice view or landscape, a good meal, the way your pet shows you Love, the hug or the smile of a loved one… Don’t wait until you lose something to see how important it was. Value and enjoy every bit of life.
In the middle of the chaos, illness, fear, and crisis, realize that you are alive (if you are reading this), and that this is a wonderful thing to celebrate. While there is life there is hope. You may feel down, or maybe you are in a difficult situation, but you won’t solve this by obsessively thinking about it.
The solution can be a shift in your perspective of life and in your openness to the opportunities it can bring you. When you disconnect from the problems, you can find a solution, for instance in the morning after a good night of sleep. When you are relaxed and still, you can receive the information you need. When you let go of stress and stop living in survival mode, you can see things differently and create something new.
Count your blessings, and be grateful for them. See what is working in your life and appreciate it daily. You will bring more of it into your existence. Rely on the Universe, and its immense power to support you. And learn how to use the great power your mind has to configure your reality. Create a world where there is goodness, kindness, generosity, understanding, forgiveness, and Love, starting with Love for yourself. It is your world, a world of your design, you have to live in it, and you can invite others to join you there.
"A positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances
instead of your circumstances having power over you"
Your inner world is a space inside of yourself that you can call home. It is a quiet, still, and wonderful place, where you can recharge batteries, connect with yourself, and remember who you really are. I love a quote by Gunilla Norris that illustrates this: “Within each of us, there is a silence as vast as the Universe. And when we experience that silence, we remember who we are.” You have a body and a mind, but you are more than a human being because the divine resides within you.
We live most of our lives focused on the exterior world. We get our value, our Love, and our resources, from outside sources. We invest lots of energy in finding 'our place in the world.' We depend upon others to feel good, accomplished, and valuable because it seems that our sources are others’ opinions or validation, social standards, religious or cultural beliefs, social media… I invite you to find, within yourself, the whole truth of who you really are and what the life you want to live is. Make regular visits to your inner residence.
Invest in knowing yourself. Spend time in your own company, in calmness, and doing nothing. Breathe and just be. Pause and relax. Ask yourself questions and you will receive answers. Find ways to learn about yourself, such as your astrological birth chart, the Akashic Records, the messages of your dreams, meditation, or others. Step into the unknown parts of yourself. Discover the beautiful you, the real you, who you are. Reveal your magnificence. Inner work will allow you to inhabit your inner world. The only one that is real and where Love resides.
Do inner research to find who you are. Ask yourself what your values are core beliefs are, and if you are living according to them. Maybe you have never asked yourself these kinds of questions before, but perhaps now is the right moment. Accept what you discover without judging yourself. Awareness is the first necessary step. Once you decide what your new life is going to be, it will be the moment to take action and live differently and happily.
It may seem easier to avoid any kind of introspection and live a life where all is set up and clear, where you know what you have to do, how you have to behave, and what is going to happen if you follow the rules of the system. If you just want to fit in, that’s ok. But to live authentically will require from you to step out of the known world, the one you were raised in, or the culture you belong to, and to ask yourself if there is anything that you have learned which is not working for you anymore.
What I am describing is not to change, it is more to come back home. The wisdom of who you are resides within you. You can access your essence, the source of Love, whenever you want. It will only require to go for it, totally and unconditionally, without trying to understand how with your reasoning mind. Why don’t you set up a time to spend with yourself, to go home? It would be a good way to begin.
Live in your heart. Connect with the source of Love within yourself and you will feel one with the world around you. The suffering we all experience is based on disconnection and lack of Love for ourselves and our lives. You will experience unconditional Love when you live in your heart. Open your heart and Love!
"Your heart is where your inner light resides. It is part of every sacred journey to reconnect with
your inner light, step into your divinity, spread the light of love before you, return to
the essence of love, and inspire others to do the same"
Think of all the times you judge yourself, criticize yourself and blame yourself for all that is not working in your life, that you did wrong or that you didn’t do. Many times… it seems that we believe that the way we improve ourselves is by beating ourselves up. Going against ourselves without compassion. Acting like a controlling parent who pays more attention to the mistakes than to the successes.
We all have flaws, weaknesses and lacks. We’ve all made mistakes, errors, and nobody is not perfect. You need to assume that it is not necessary for you to do everything wonderfully and perfectly. Give yourself permission to be human. Take a deep breath and relax, don’t be tense all the time trying to avoid making a mistake. Focus more on what you have done well, value your strengths, pay attention to your achievements, even the small ones, and see your uniqueness.
The only thing you can do is to offer your best to the world, and when you don’t arrive to your standards of perfection, remember that you are human, that you will have more opportunities, that you will do it better next time. See every experience in life and any occasion, as opportunities to learn. Don’t consider anything as a failure or mistake.
You can forgive anything. You can forgive those who wrong you, betray you, disrespect you, or even abuse you. Once you understand that forgiving them doesn’t deny that the facts happened, and that you don’t condone the actions, that is only about letting events remain in the past, totally. Once you have forgiven, whatever happened belongs to the past and you live now in the present, where the events do not affect you at all.
You can overcome, by decision, what happened to you. You can free yourself of the suffering of remembering the events and reviving the emotions associated with them. It is a release to do that. You feel lighter and stronger, when you are not a victim of a past experience anymore. But let me ask you, can you forgive yourself? You, the one that in your mind is causing all the misery in your life, the guilty one, the person that made a so called `big mistake´ or failed.
The answer is: yes, you can, if you want to. You will do it because you Love yourself and you treat yourself with Love. You forgive yourself because you owe yourself some compassion and kindness, because you have a mindset where the present and the future you build every moment are more important than whatever experience you faced in the past, because you want to move on, because you are able to accept yourself as you are, with weaknesses and strengths, all of you. You forgive yourself because you want to.
The power of forgiveness is immense. You can transform your life if you just make a list of experiences you feel ready to forgive, to let go, to release and you do it. You don’t need anything else except your commitment to let it go from your system once and for all. Love will do the work. Unconditional Love for yourself is what changes your life and all it includes. Don’t carry unnecessary weight around. Release the past hurts, wounds, grudges, anger, resentment, and set yourself free. Then, open your heart and Love fully again.
"Forgive yourself. The supreme act of forgiveness is when you can
forgive yourself for all the wounds you’ve created in your own life.
Forgiveness is an act of self-love. When you forgive yourself,
self-acceptance begins and self-love grows"
Miguel Ángel Ruiz Macías
Can you accept yourself as you are? Be totally honest with yourself when you answer the question. Maybe you are not sure you can do it, or you don't know how. Unconditional acceptance is something you must practice every day because being you, authentically you, is the most important thing you can do to live happily.
You can simulate that you have a good relationship with yourself, that you accept your flaws, mistakes, that you forgive yourself for what you believe you did wrongly. But your soul will know if you, deep inside yourself, reject yourself, cannot accept yourself as you are and criticize yourself constantly.
Having a good relationship with yourself and becoming your best friend starts with the absolute need to accept yourself as you are, and also the life you are living. You cannot say that you Love yourself if you criticize everything that happens to you, don’t appreciate your life, relationships, environment, life circumstances…
In time you will see that the self-acceptance will allow you to transform this feeling into appreciation, and then into gratefulness, and together all of these will convert your life into something greater and happier. This way you will be able to release the pressure you put on yourself to improve yourself and your life, and you will be able to become content with yourself as you are.
You may have to do an effort to accept who you are unconditionally, to say aloud “this is me”, to present yourself as you are without any protection, without adapting yourself to others or the situation, without the fear of being rejected or criticized for your ideas, way of living or your acts; this may require courage and make you feel vulnerable. Let me tell you that to be you is simpler than you imagine, because when you accept yourself the world accepts you as well.
The inner conflict between who you are and the image you want to show in public, in your job, in front of your in-laws or friends, or to get a partner, takes a lot of energy from you. It puts you in a constant state of alert to protect yourself from any mistake you can make that allows others to see the real you, the one you unconsciously want to protect from the judgment of others. Your intimate relationship with yourself should be easy, smooth, allowing you to feel relaxed and at ease in any circumstance.
If you feel that there are things about yourself and your past that you cannot forgive, this is the perfect moment to let them go, to set yourself free from a thought, experience, or situation that holds you back and makes you suffer.
To accept yourself this way you will have to learn self-forgiveness, kindness and compassion towards yourself. Just give yourself the same Love you share with others, and you will create a new relationship with yourself, one where you can discover who you are, know yourself more deeply, accept yourself and fall in Love with yourself, with the real You.
"Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself"
We have had lots of life experiences that we have not wanted to accept. Loses, so called `mistakes’, break ups, unforgivable events, abuse, arguments, disagreements, pain, and so much more. But they happened, they were real, and we cannot change them, but we can, at least, accept them. Acceptance will allow you to look to the future with more freedom. Stop looking only through the rear mirror, and look at the wonderful view in front of you, while you drive through the journey of your life.
There are people that think that to accept means to be weak, or that they cannot forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it. But in order to live your life in the present, this life that is real and happening for you at this exact moment, you must be here and now. You cannot be present if you only live in the past, in past experiences, in past feelings, in past grudges, in past resentment.
To let go, to release, or to forgive, are learnable skills. They are necessary for your survival. If you carry all these weight from the past, you will move slowly, with difficulties, and your life-journey will be much more unpleasant than if you walk through life weightless and free to enjoy every moment of it.
You need to accept the life you have in order to be able to create the life you want. What this means is that you can only create new circumstances, change, thrive, and become who you want to be, when you accept what is happening in your life now.
Doing it doesn’t have to generate guilt. You don’t have to blame yourself, to feel guilty. You don’t need to have a poor opinion of your choices, or to be a victim of the circumstances, or of your past. You only need to accept who you are, in a loving and compassionate way, offering yourself the understanding and kindness you would show a loved one.
Start planting the seeds of your new life and wonderful future. Nothing stops you from creating a life that contains what you want and deserve. Only you can sabotage your efforts, life is on your side. If you want something, you must become what you want. No Love can enter a closed heart. No abundance can arrive to those who feel they don’t deserve it. No health can be restored if we don’t pay attention to the needs of our body. Change starts with awareness and understanding and it happens with acceptance.
Live with acceptance and not for acceptance. We are subject to the opinions and expectations of those around us. We live our lives fulfilling roles. We want to be the best employees, managers, parents, children, partners, friends, or neighbors. We sometimes achieve our goal at a cost. We have internal expectations of what all of those roles imply, and in order to be that person that we want to be, to fulfill that role perfectly, to demonstrate our Love to others and to be accepted by them, we stop loving ourselves in the process.
What we need to have a happier life is self-acceptance, not the acceptance of others. They are not walking through life wearing our shoes. No matter how much they know us, they cannot live our lives for us. You can create a new life: a life of pleasure, of abundance, of happiness and fun. We live our life overworked, in busyness, and without time to reflect, take care of ourselves, or make the best decisions. Nowadays all happens fast, and we may feel stressed and tired. Just pause, appreciate your life, and take some time to accept.
"When you invoke the agent of change called acceptance, you must accept all that you are,
all that you've been, and all that you will be in the future"
We tend to take our life for granted without appreciating its gifts. There are so many things that you can appreciate every day of your life. Have you realized how many days pass by in which you don't feel this appreciation? Pause and look around while you go through your day. There is beauty all around you, little things that can make your heart sing. You can experience moments of laughter, awe, Love, and joy. Don’t miss them.
To appreciate something, it is necessary to become aware of its existence. It is necessary to pay attention. To do it, you have to stop living only in your mind or on autopilot. Look around, connect with what life brings to you, be present and do one thing at a time. Once the sense of appreciation exists in your life, you can be grateful for it, but not before. Being grateful connects you to Love, Love for yourself, your life, and all that exists.
Appreciation starts with yourself, with the idea of unconditionally accepting who you are and being proud of yourself, of knowing your gifts, your strengths, your worth, and what you bring to the world. To Love yourself means to appreciate yourself totally and completely. Don’t wait until you receive validation and Love from someone else. The way to get them is to value and to Love yourself.
Appreciate what you have, don’t overlook it. There are so many things to be grateful for. It is so easy to focus on what is lacking in your life, but this will only bring you more lack. We tend to judge our life because it doesn’t look like the way it should. We are so hard on ourselves because we believe that we are not good enough. We can receive more abundance now, and being grateful for what we already have is the first step to making it happen.
Do you need ideas about what you can be grateful for? Be grateful for having a body that works and two legs that take you wherever you want to go, for your two eyes that allow you to see a wonderful sunset. Be grateful for the Love of your family and friends, for a kiss, a smile, a hug, for the Love you receive daily. Be grateful for the breeze in your face, for the sun that bathes you, for the flower that blooms for you. Be grateful because you are alive and you have the energy to do whatever you want. Enjoy every moment of your wonderful life. Don’t wait until you lose something to appreciate it.
Observe the conversation you have with yourself. Don’t get caught in thoughts that create self-doubt, judgment, and criticism. Stop thinking about the different issues you may have, pointing out what is not working, or it is not the way you want. Love what is as much as you can, even if you don’t like it, or it is not what you may have chosen. Your appreciation and gratitude open you up to abundance, to receiving, to being in the flow of life, of giving and receiving, and they will transform you and every aspect of your life.
"Give yourself a gift of five minutes of contemplation in awe of everything you see around you.
Go outside and turn your attention to the many miracles around you. This five-minute-a-day
regimen of appreciation and gratitude will help you to focus your life in awe"
Dr. Wayne Dyer
Do it slowly, do it gently, do it with Love. Whatever you do, do it because you want to, with all your energy, with passion, with commitment. When you really want to accomplish something, you don’t even need to set up a goal. Your energy shows up and things happen. It becomes real. Yet there are things that are difficult for each of us, that we want to change, but we cannot because the effort that it’d take feels like having to climb a mountain.
Take action and make changes because you want to, because you choose to, not because you believe you have to. Find the motivation within yourself. The Love for yourself is the energy that will allow you to introduce any change in your life or to achieve anything you set your mind to. There is no more powerful reason than that to find the strength to change those things that are not working in your life, or to start treating yourself with more care to become happier and healthier.
It would be easier to introduce new things in your life if you had a clear idea of what you wanted to accomplish in your life. See the big picture. What are you looking for? What do you really desire? What will make you happier and fulfilled? More energy, more balance, more fun, more health, more abundance, a relationship? You can divide your goal into different actions you can take, and just start, slowly but surely. Take one action after another, without looking much further into the future.
When you want to change something, every baby step counts. You want to write a book, then write at least a couple of pages each day. You want to exercise, realize that you need to create the habit and that one day in the gym is better than none. You want to eat a healthy diet, then maybe just looking at the menus you may like and buying groceries is a good first step. Take the first small step and the rest will follow. Find a way that works for you.
We tend to put so much pressure on ourselves. Whatever you commit to has to be realistic and achievable. Don’t make the challenge too big. Don’t try to do everything at the same time. Introduce small changes and when they become a routine in your life, then go for your next goal. Maybe you have tried to accomplish this before and you didn’t succeed. But the fact that you didn’t achieve it in the past doesn’t mean that you cannot do it today. Ask for help if you need it. Find a support group, do it with a friend, or hire a coach. You don’t have to do it alone.
Don’t focus on what you don’t want to do. Be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you are ready. First, find the strength you need and make yourself ready! Stop setting up the same goals and abandoning those days or weeks later. Just make a commitment with yourself to change something and go for it. It can be something small but important, and when you accomplish it you will feel more empowered and on control of your life. You are more powerful than you imagine!
"I started reading about people of great accomplishment... and it dawned on me suddenly that
the person who has the most to do with what happens in your life is you"
Life is not static, it is constant creation. All you desire is already happening somewhere, at this exact moment. You don’t know why this is possible. You cannot understand how you are creating, but it doesn’t matter, it will happen while you keep your desires alive, don’t stand in your own way, and are open to receiving, at any moment.
In some place, there is someone that will Love you the way you are, someone that will treat you like you deserve, someone that will share all his Love with you without asking you for anything in return. The fact that unsuccessful relationships are part of your story, doesn’t mean that the most wonderful Love is not around the corner.
There is the perfect place for you, the house of your dreams exists or is already being built someplace. The place where you belong and that feels like home is waiting for you. You will get there if you allow it to happen. It is not a matter of time, effort, or money; it is a matter of readiness. Your task when faced with anything you desire in life is to make yourself ready to receive it. Don’t sabotage your opportunities.
Your life can change for the better at any moment. You should expect the best because this is what the Universe has in store for you. You deserve it. Can you believe it? Stop thinking about what can go wrong, where can you fail, about the worst case scenario. Don’t judge your life and put yourself down. Don’t put limits on yourself. Don’t say no. Be open to receiving all that can come to you unexpectedly, when you less imagine it, in a way you haven’t experienced before.
Let go of your timing and the life you have planned, and open yourself up to the world of imagination. There is a different way of living and being, and it is simpler than what you may be experiencing now. It is based on being in alignment, on the connection between your thoughts and emotions, your words and your actions.
When you are connected, you feel confident because you know that you are not alone, that you are always guided. You perceive clearly that you are not the creator of your life, that there is a more powerful force, call it what you want, that helps you at any moment if you allow it to happen. You have free will though, and you can always choose how you want to live your life.
Expect the unexpected. Convince yourself that step by step you can build the life you want, that nothing is eternal and that wonderful changes can happen at any moment. Focus your attention and intention in what matters to you, but without putting pressure on yourself.
At all moments there is Love available for you, at all moments, there is hope in front of you, at all moments there is happiness around you. Take what you need and share it. Elevated thoughts, loving thoughts, grateful thoughts, will change your reality at any moment. Life has big surprises and lots of gifts in store for you. Are you ready? They can arrive at any moment.
"There's always going to be the circumstances you can't plan for.
There's always the unexpected relevance and the serendipity"
Self-confidence does not depend on your success, it is more of an attitude towards life. When you feel confident, you don’t feel invincible because you are superman or superwoman; your confidence comes from an inner feeling that no matter how life turns out or what happens to you, everything will be ok because you will find a way to overcome any obstacle in your life.
It can be hard to have confidence in yourself when things are not working the way you want, and life becomes challenging. I know because I stopped believing in myself during a long period of my life, not finding the energy to move from a victim mode and depression to a state of mind where I could see opportunities and solutions that I could apply into my life. But this is the past and it is not happening anymore because I am not afraid of living and I don’t need to control every aspect of my life. I feel safe. I feel alive.
Now I know that I am always supported and that, whatever comes my way is there because I can handle it. I have the power to do it. Now I know that someone has my back, the Universe. I have understood that guidance is always there for me. That help comes when I ask for it, from wherever it has to arrive and in any possible form and that I am never alone.
Life shouldn’t be hard. No matter what is going on, a devastating illness, losing your job, financial difficulties, problems in your relationships… You may be sad or in pain, but you can find a way to go through it while avoiding the extra suffering. Self-confidence brings more balance and peace into your life. It has power, the power to accomplish, to overcome, to decide, to become, to succeed, the power of loving yourself.
You should be confident not only when all is great and life smiles at you. You need self-confidence the most when you cannot look at yourself and be proud of yourself or of your choices. Don’t blame yourself, don’t judge yourself, and don’t feel self-pity.
Things are not working, you have problems, I understand, but you have a life to live. You have to get up and pull yourself together. You owe this to yourself. Step into your power and state your confidence. Tell yourself: “I can and I will. I don’t know how, but I will find a way”.
You are not your problems, circumstances, or difficulties. You are much more important that all of this. They are the scenario of your life and you are the actor or actress. You are the star in the play. You have abilities, you have gifts, and you have the power of Self-Love, to make everything happen.
The Universe is at your service to help, but you need to listen to the guidance. Stop and listen carefully because its voice whispers, it sends helpers your way, signs and synchronicities,and shows you the best path for you now. Be confident!
"I believe the process of going from confusion to understanding
is a precious, even emotional, experience that can be the
foundation of self-confidence"
When you ask someone the question “How are you?,” the person you are talking to will choose something in the line of “I am fine”, “All good”, “I am doing well”, but they won’t tell you what they really feel or how they are really doing at the moment, they will give you an answer that is not real.
Some people think that nobody is interested in their problems, challenges or their emotional or physical health. They don’t want to bother others with their burdens, or maybe they feel that nobody will really listen with interest.
Others want to keep what is not working in their lives private, and they always show a happy face to the world, even when they don’t feel happy. In this new era we post all good news in Social Media, but who do we tell the not so good news?
We feel that we have to be ok all the time, that we cannot be down, that we need to be resilient no matter what we are going through, a divorce, a transition, an illness, legal problems, financial stress, the loss of someone we love... and we don’t.
The fastest way, and the one that will allow you to go through life with less suffering in whatever circumstances you are going through, is not to hide what is happening, not to put it aside, not to deny it. It is to face it.
When you do, be kind and compassionate with yourself and accept the situation, whatever it is. Give yourself the necessary time to process what is going on, don’t jump to the end of the process that you will need to do in order to overcome the difficulty and bounce back.
Be authentically you, no matter what is going on, be honest with yourself. Analyze yourself and your feelings, try to understand where your thoughts come from and revise old belief systems to see if they are still serving you, see your patterns of behavior as allies to point you in the right direction to change.
Yes, change. Here we are again, this magic word that nobody wants to hear. Life is change. Today you are not the same person you were yesterday… even if you want to keep yourself stuck, it won’t be possible, life will kick your behind and make a move for you if you don’t. Your body changes, your cells renew, and you experience new situations, different life circumstances, interact with others, travel, read, learn, and expand your horizons.
You are here to evolve and grow. You can do it smartly, easily, with Love for yourself and your life, being grateful for the opportunity to be alive. Or you can continue hiding your problems, being unfulfilled, unsatisfied, and going around with a mask and telling yourself “I am fine”.
What are you going to answer the next time someone asks you how you are doing? I have a suggestion: why don’t you take a minute of your time to figure out how you really are. This time, answer yourself honestly, accept what is, without judgment.
Later on, you may want to spend some time brainstorming about what you can do to improve your life and circumstances. Or you can have a pity party before you decide to let go of what is not allowing you to move forward, to release it, to move on. You always have a choice. Today, choose to make yourself happy. Do one thing for you, small or big, take action and see the change.
"Your preparation for the real world is not in the answers you have learned,
but in the questions you have learned how to ask yourself"
All of us have experienced moments when we felt overwhelmed, overworked, exhausted, or out of energy and enthusiasm for life. Life’s circumstances will put you in a spot where you don’t have any other option but to accept the challenge and do what needs to be done.
The reason why you feel so tired can be an excess of work, the deadline of a project, or just not enough personnel in your company. You may be experiencing stress from your relationships, maybe your marriage is not working, or you have lost a loved one and are grieving. Maybe you can’t sleep at night because you are taking care of a sick family member or your child, or just thinking about how to pay the bills at the end of the month.
The worry will eat away at you. You won’t be able to find a solution by worrying. Instead, you will add more energy to the problem. You will drain yourself and run out of energy. This is the energy that you will need to be able to focus on what you can do differently, and on how you can receive help. Yes, you can receive help, if you allow it to happen. You are never alone, and you don’t need to know how to resolve every situation you are faced with.
Take a deep breath… yes, now. Do it now. What are you going to lose? Just let me guide you. Take another breath, and now a deeper one. When you exhale, let go of all that is worrying you. You haven’t had enough with one breath to release everything? Then take another one, and one more, until you visualize all the worry, stress, anxiety, and dark clouds on your mind going away. Great! Thank you for trying.
Now, focus on inhaling the most wonderful and powerful energy that you can imagine. Every breath you take is a new beginning, and when you inhale, you take in all the new you want in your life, and when you exhale, you let go of all the old that you don’t want in your life anymore.
Why have I asked you to do this breathing exercise? Because I know that it works. Because I also needed to read it. I have the temptation to put more things on my calendar than I can accomplish. I start big projects, and travel around the world, and I serve my clients, but I need to remember that I cannot lose myself in the process, that my well-being and health are my first priority, and that nothing will make sense if I lose them.
When you feel so tired that you cannot think clearly, when you need a crane to get up from bed, when you cannot relate with others without getting triggered and angry and the smallest things bother you, stop and breathe. Just that. Reconnect with yourself, reassess your priorities, and ask for help if necessary. To whom? To whoever will come to help you.
The help you need can come from an unknown person, a colleague, a friend, a sibling, or a being sent by the Universe (there are a lot of them ready to help you if you allow it to happen), or even a book or a message. Be smart enough to not sacrifice yourself for any cause, person or reason. If you Love yourself enough you will understand why you cannot do it. You are the most valuable thing you have, and unless you are ok, you won’t be able to help anyone else.
"I’ve decided to be happy because it is good for my health" - Voltaire
When you feel confused, uncertain, or stuck, don’t try to fix the external circumstances of your life, just look inside. The solution to everything you experience is within you. A change or perspective, a different approach to life, another attitude towards the same events, may be necessary to create a shift.
A change of consciousness is what the crisis you are experiencing is asking of you. It does not matter if your life is falling apart because of financial stress, health issues, a divorce, problems in your job, or something else. A change is required, and only you can do it. The clue to overcoming the challenge is hiding inside of you.
We tend to think that when we solve the issue, whatever is it, all will be well. If I get the job or the promotion I will be happy, if I receive the money I will be financially stable and be able to pay my debt, if I lose some weight I will find the partner I deserve... That’s not true. You will be in a better situation if you work towards your goals, but the reason why you don’t have the partner, the money, or the job, is because you don’t think that you can have it.
And let me tell you a little, but important secret, on how the Universe works: you cannot receive what you don’t have. All of us struggle in a certain area of our lives, or maybe in more than one. We can be successful professionals but our Love life is a disaster, or we might be so healthy but feel that we lack energy, passion, and purpose in our lives. We try harder to overcome whatever block might be stopping us from getting what we want, when the way to get what you really desire is to believe that you deserve it.
I will give you an example. You have to cultivate the qualities that you want to have in your life. If you want more peace, be more peaceful. If you want more Love, be more loving, if you want more abundance, feel abundant and grateful. We don’t realize that we close the doors to receiving, that we ask and we cancel the order right after we place it. We sabotage our own efforts to improve our lives and we do it so automatically, as a habit.
Lots of people procrastinate their happiness until a time when the world around them will match their expectations. Know that the easy way to create a life of fulfillment and purpose, a life that makes you jump out of bed every day, it to start being happy right here and right now.
If you accept your life situation, and see the blessings you have, you will create a platform from where you can build a foundation for the life you dream of and deserve. Look inside and see who you are in essence, a beautiful being, full of Love and joy and willing to share it.
"There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self"
You are the only one that can live your life, the one that can take responsibility for what is going on, and the one that has the power to transform yourself and your life. You are more powerful than you think you are.
We tend to go through life looking at how the world affects us and putting limits on ourselves. We analyze how others behave towards us, thinking that they have the power to hurt us. We complain about our family, spouse, friends, colleagues, or boss. Everyone seems to be the cause of our pain and dissatisfaction when we think about it, or we complain to others about what we are experiencing.
You are the only one that can change these circumstances. You can change any circumstance with the power of your own Love, Self-Love. For example, when in a relationship someone disrespects and mistreats you, they are not the only ones that should change their behavior. You need to change too. Maybe you need to learn to say no to certain things, to respect yourself, or to set boundaries.
Don't wait until others change, do it yourself. Once you do it, this person that you think that is causing your pain won't be in your life anymore. Things will change unexpectedly, or you will abandon this kind of relationship knowing that you deserve a loving partnership, and that by staying in this relationship, you are hurting yourself. If you change the way you treat yourself and how you allow others to treat you, as a consequence, those around you will change too.
When you self-sacrifice in order to take care of your family or children, for example, and you don't feel well because you are exhausted and totally depleted, and you feel that you don't have a life anymore, you are hurting yourself. There is a way to change your life circumstances, but maybe not the way you have thought about. There is a way to ask for help, real help, from those who Love you, and also help from the Universe.
Think about a typical situation where you have too much to do at home. You can ask your partner to be more involved and help you, or you can ask the Universe to bring you the money you need to be able to pay for a cleaning lady, or for a nanny. That will allow you to rethink your schedule, or work from home, or part-time, to be able to take care of yourself and your family with energy, passion, and also feel well in the bargain. Only you can create these possibilities.
When the abundance is not there, and you feel that you are limited because without it, you cannot do what you want, only you can solve it. By loving yourself more, your energy will be better, your vibration higher, your creativity and inspiration larger, and you will feel more connected with yourself, others and the Universe, seeing more solutions and opportunities.
This shift will allow you to receive what you feel you deserve, to open the doors of your heart, and to share all the Love you have, and this will bring more Love into your life. This will improve not only your relationships, but every area of your life, and you will see abundance enter your life, that people around you are happier, that life becomes less a struggle and more a dance with the Universe, and then you will understand the magic of life. You can shift now, do it!
"You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the season, or the wind,
but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of"
Let it go, stop carrying it inside you. You travel through life with so much stuff within yourself, lots of unprocessed emotions such as sadness, grief, shame, anger, frustration... the list can be so long. Each of us has our own combination of events and experiences that affected us and still live inside us. A lot of what happened to you has been forgotten, or it is even unconscious (you are unaware of it), but it does not matter, it runs you and affects your life with a strong power. It is important for you to let go of what is not serving you anymore.
The same way you take a shower to clean your body, you should find a way to clean your emotional body, to quiet your mind, and to give peace to your heart. These unresolved, unprocessed, and even the not expressed emotions and thoughts, affect your life. Maybe you believe that you have overcome all of it, or that it was not as important, or that time will help you to cope with it. It may seem like this, but it is not true.
Some of the things you did not say because you did not want to argue or upset another person, or the occasions when you could not say what you thought or felt because the other person was more powerful than you, like a boss, a parent, or any other authority figure, remain in your system. If you accumulate so much and never free yourself of it, your physical body gets affected, stressed, and you can become sick.
We tend to please others, especially because we want their Love and acceptance. Sometimes you may be afraid of the consequences of saying what you really believe, and decide not to do it and keep it to yourself. Exactly at this moment you stop being your authentic self. There are moments when you may be afraid of losing the Love of someone, or being abandoned, and you conform yourself to a situation and become small. In some cases, you may not know how to set up boundaries, and others pass your limits and abuse you. How many times have you experienced any of these scenarios?
Don't be afraid of looking inside yourself. I invite you to do some inner work. You may think that you don't need to, but all that is happening in your inner world is affecting your reality. It will be very difficult to change your circumstances, not to say impossible, if you don't change what is happening within you. Inside yourself, you will find all the pain stuffed, but also all your potential and creativity; you will be able to know the real you, and to connect with your intuition. You will discover yourself and reconnect with your source of Love, Self-Love, and find the joy and happiness that you seek and deserve.
"Sometimes you just have to let go of the old and trust that something better is going to take its place,
even if it's scary to face change and the unknown"
All of us want to feel loved. We want to receive proof that we are loved. We want dedication and attention. We can even withdraw our Love when we are not sure if another person loves us, or when we feel insecure in a relationship. But Love is never conditional. Real Love does not expect retribution, a guarantee, and has no obligation. Love just gives without expecting anything in return. Love just wants to be expressed.
The world of Love seems to be complicated. Some cannot find it, others had it and lost it, there are people that have never experienced it, others are afraid of it, or cannot express the Love they have inside themselves. We aim to poses something that we don't even know how to describe, to find, or to keep. Love can take you to the moon, make you feel special, bring out the best in you, and allow you to become a better person. But Love can make you feel miserable and vulnerable, and break your heart, and so many people have built tall walls to protect themselves from it because they believe that Love hurts.
How it possible that Love can be so desired, and we all want to experience it and, at the same time, loving seems so scary and it creates so much suffering? Every relationship that we establish is an opportunity to learn how to Love and to be loved. Love is a choice. It is a state of being. It is a decision we can make, even in spite of the other person. We Love because we decide to. When we Love no matter what, for no specific reason, or without expecting anything in return, we are loving unconditionally.
To be able to Love others you have to Love yourself first. By doing that, you will be able to share your Love without asking anything in return, without trying to control or possess the other person in order to assure your dose of Love. Your own Love will support you, and will allow you to be more compassionate, understanding, and less judgmental with others. Love is free like the wind, or it is not Love. You cannot demand to be loved; it has to be given to you freely. Love is a flow, we offer our Love and we receive Love.
When you invest all your energy in loving yourself, you create a full battery of Love that is ready to be shared with others. You will be able to give Love without the need to receive it. Love will arrive to you anyway, your essence of Love will attract more Love into your life. The Love that you express, the Love of who you are, will make you so attractive and irresistible. Love is not an exchange. Love is what you already have within you, and you share. It is the energy that drives you. It is the solution to any problem you may have. It is the key that unlocks all hearts. Be Love.
"It is all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you,
rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit"
A way to Love yourself more is to have self-awareness, to understand who you are. It is difficult to Love someone that you don't know. What do you really know about yourself? Maybe not so much. You have an image about yourself that you present to the world, you have certain beliefs about who you are, and you know facts of your life, your story and memories but, who you are really?
You can know more about yourself in so many different ways. You can ask your loved ones what your best qualities are, do an assessment, ask an astrologer to do the interpretation of your birth chart, you can learn to interpret your dreams (which contain important information for you), you can register in a class of self-development, meditate, journal, do inner work of any kind... there are so many different ways to gain self-awareness, and all of them require that you become interested in knowing who is behind your body and mind.
Invest time in yourself to discovering more about you. Look at yourself with new eyes. Find out and appreciate all the good attributes you have. Find out what your gifts are. See what you like about yourself. Reconnect with what makes you feel passionate. You are not defined by your achievements, your success, or the roles that you play in life. You are much more than you think you are. There is so much to discover about yourself. To get to know you, you will have to spend time with yourself.
Do you need more ideas to discover yourself? Try new things and see what your reactions are. Test yourself. Do something you are afraid of. Try something you believe you cannot do. Experiment. Do things in a different way. Try new kinds of foods. Practice a sport that you have never practiced before. Do an activity you have never tried. Register in a class to learn something. Push your boundaries. Explore new avenues. Go to different places. Expand your horizons. Talk with someone you don't know. It does not matter what you do, what is important is that you do something different, new, or unknown, and you will see a new you emerging.
Everything you try will provide you with new information about yourself. You will enrich yourself with different experiences. Maybe you will change the limiting beliefs that you have about what you can or cannot do. You will go out of your comfort zone. You will meet new people and with them, new ways of being. Your life and surroundings will change, and you will change too. You will gain confidence and be more open minded, or maybe less judgmental with yourself. You will have fun and enjoy life. You will spend 24 hours a day with yourself for the rest of your life, so it would be a good idea to know yourself better and to have a wonderful relationship with yourself, don't you think?
"There is more to all of us than we realize. Life is so much bigger, grander, higher, and wider than we allow ourselves to think. We are capable of so much more than we allow ourselves to believe"
Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want.