When something negative or that you don't like happens to you, it changes how you feel. Not only do you have to deal with what happened, but also with your reaction toward it. You may be faced with a version of yourself that you don't want to see. One that says you are not good enough and that you can't succeed in life. You may feel guilty or ashamed for what happened, or you have no doubt that this is your fault. Perhaps you have so much anger or sadness that you cannot move forward.
There are moments in life when you get stuck. Something so big happens to you that it knocks you down and puts you out of the game. You want it to go away, and you decide after processing the situation that you will let it go. But you don't know how. Loving yourself in this moment of your life is the first step. You should let it go because you deserve to be free to continue your life. Whatever is going on shouldn't determine the rest of your life. Nothing has to change for you to be all right. You can be well within the chaos and in the middle of the problems. This is an essential realization because we usually don't think this is possible.
It is complicated to let go of something you are judging and analyzing all the time. The thoughts of what happened keep coming to your mind, and it may seem impossible to disconnect from them. You cannot disconnect because you haven't decided to let it go. The power of forgiveness, of yourself or others, can help you release the burden you carry and let go of it. You don't have to change the external circumstances you are facing. You have to change the way you see yourself in relation to them.
It may seem difficult to believe that in the most challenging circumstances, you can still Love yourself. Is in those moments when you need to accept yourself, and the mistakes you think you made and be at peace with yourself. Self-Love will give you more power to change the circumstances than criticism, judgment, and guilt. You shouldn't make yourself suffer. Try instead to support yourself to overcome what you are facing. It may require practice, but the best way out of anything is to choose to Love yourself no matter what happens. Take care of yourself with understanding and kindness.
You may not be used to supporting yourself when the present and future don't look promising, but your life can change at any moment if you allow it to happen. Yes, life happens, and you can lose yourself. But loving yourself to the fullest will help you stay calm and reconnect with a joyous future. Put your attention on your state of being, in reconnecting with who you are and your power, before trying to fix any other detail of your life.
Love will save you in any given circumstance. Love comforts you, understands you, forgives you, and is always caring and kind to you. This Love doesn't come from outside; it comes from within yourself. You have the power to create Love and to use it to transform your life and the lives of others. No other force is more important than Love, the Love for yourself. It will take you to the highest levels possible and rescue you when you fall. Love is there for you. Always there.
"When we are experiencing immeasurable pain, fear, and sorrow, when we are vulnerable and tender, that is the very time to turn toward experience rather than to escape it. It is the very time when we most need acceptance; when
we most need Love. To Love then, as it is meant here, is to remain fully
present, with self and others, when difficult internal conditions arise"
Robyn D. Walser
We have had lots of life experiences that we have not wanted to accept. Loses, so called `mistakes’, break ups, unforgivable events, abuse, arguments, disagreements, pain, and so much more. But they happened, they were real, and we cannot change them, but we can, at least, accept them. Acceptance will allow you to look to the future with more freedom. Stop looking only through the rear mirror, and look at the wonderful view in front of you, while you drive through the journey of your life.
There are people that think that to accept means to be weak, or that they cannot forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it. But in order to live your life in the present, this life that is real and happening for you at this exact moment, you must be here and now. You cannot be present if you only live in the past, in past experiences, in past feelings, in past grudges, in past resentment.
To let go, to release, or to forgive, are learnable skills. They are necessary for your survival. If you carry all these weight from the past, you will move slowly, with difficulties, and your life-journey will be much more unpleasant than if you walk through life weightless and free to enjoy every moment of it.
You need to accept the life you have in order to be able to create the life you want. What this means is that you can only create new circumstances, change, thrive, and become who you want to be, when you accept what is happening in your life now.
Doing it doesn’t have to generate guilt. You don’t have to blame yourself, to feel guilty. You don’t need to have a poor opinion of your choices, or to be a victim of the circumstances, or of your past. You only need to accept who you are, in a loving and compassionate way, offering yourself the understanding and kindness you would show a loved one.
Start planting the seeds of your new life and wonderful future. Nothing stops you from creating a life that contains what you want and deserve. Only you can sabotage your efforts, life is on your side. If you want something, you must become what you want. No Love can enter a closed heart. No abundance can arrive to those who feel they don’t deserve it. No health can be restored if we don’t pay attention to the needs of our body. Change starts with awareness and understanding and it happens with acceptance.
Live with acceptance and not for acceptance. We are subject to the opinions and expectations of those around us. We live our lives fulfilling roles. We want to be the best employees, managers, parents, children, partners, friends, or neighbors. We sometimes achieve our goal at a cost. We have internal expectations of what all of those roles imply, and in order to be that person that we want to be, to fulfill that role perfectly, to demonstrate our Love to others and to be accepted by them, we stop loving ourselves in the process.
What we need to have a happier life is self-acceptance, not the acceptance of others. They are not walking through life wearing our shoes. No matter how much they know us, they cannot live our lives for us. You can create a new life: a life of pleasure, of abundance, of happiness and fun. We live our life overworked, in busyness, and without time to reflect, take care of ourselves, or make the best decisions. Nowadays all happens fast, and we may feel stressed and tired. Just pause, appreciate your life, and take some time to accept.
"When you invoke the agent of change called acceptance, you must accept all that you are,
all that you've been, and all that you will be in the future"
Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want.