We experience many things every day. We accumulate thoughts and feelings, and frequently we don’t invest time in understanding and letting them go. We live fast. There is no time for going inwards. Life continues. This is the way we act until we enter into a crisis, and we have to stop. It can happen in the form of an accident, illness, loss, financial problem, a relationship issue, or disconnection from ourselves.
If you don’t stop, life will stop you. It is necessary to devote time to heal your experiences, all of them. To process what happened to you. To find a way to release or forgive a situation or event. It is not a good idea to suppress what you feel, ignore it, or blame others for the situations you are involved in.
You are here to learn something from every little thing that happens to you. Don’t ruminate over a problem or issue; take what you have learned with you and continue living. Don’t allow yourself to get stuck in the same patterns or ways of reacting to life. Observe yourself.
When your body gives you signs of discomfort, unexpected pain, or lack of energy, don’t wait until you feel sick or in pain. Pause, and take a break. Take care of yourself. Allow yourself to do nothing for some hours. Find the time to heal now.
Listen to what your body is trying to tell you. Don’t pressure yourself to be well. Just be with what is happening. Every illness has a deep meaning at a soul level. Be on the side of your body and Love it, instead of thinking about why it is not working properly. Your body wants to be healthy. What can you do to help? Or what can you stop doing to help your body return to wellbeing?
Time is the key element. I am not talking about time in hours and days, but more about an internal time where you listen to what is happening inside you. We ask others how they are very frequently, why not do the same with ourselves. Check in with yourself. Not in a judgmental way.
Find time to be with yourself, your wounds, your incomplete business, your unhealed relationships, or whatever you are feeling right now. We don’t allow ourselves enough time to charge batteries, to reconnect with ourselves and our inner world. We want to continue with our lives immediately, but things are resolved at the right time, not when we want.
Don’t take the easy path of getting busy and not having time to feel or release. It only will help you postpone the inevitable. Later on, you will have to confront what you abandoned along the way. All those things you have accumulated won’t disappear from your life just because you postpone dealing with them for long enough. They dissolve when you confront them and consciously decide to be with them, feel them, understand them, take responsibility for them, release them, forgive those involved, including yourself, and set yourself free to move on and start anew.
We want to resolve it all quickly. I know because I have been there as well. I do many things, and ask and ask more of myself until I realize that I have forgotten to cultivate my inner peace and how to feel good with myself. Don’t take your life, health, or relationships for granted. Give thanks for everything you have. Gratefulness is the secret of life. You have received the gift of life. Stop, feel, and live. And when the moment arrives, take the time to heal.
"Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn’t you — all of the expectations, all of the beliefs — and becoming who you are"
Rachel Naomi Remen
All of us have experienced moments when we felt overwhelmed, overworked, exhausted, or out of energy and enthusiasm for life. Life’s circumstances will put you in a spot where you don’t have any other option but to accept the challenge and do what needs to be done.
The reason why you feel so tired can be an excess of work, the deadline of a project, or just not enough personnel in your company. You may be experiencing stress from your relationships, maybe your marriage is not working, or you have lost a loved one and are grieving. Maybe you can’t sleep at night because you are taking care of a sick family member or your child, or just thinking about how to pay the bills at the end of the month.
The worry will eat away at you. You won’t be able to find a solution by worrying. Instead, you will add more energy to the problem. You will drain yourself and run out of energy. This is the energy that you will need to be able to focus on what you can do differently, and on how you can receive help. Yes, you can receive help, if you allow it to happen. You are never alone, and you don’t need to know how to resolve every situation you are faced with.
Take a deep breath… yes, now. Do it now. What are you going to lose? Just let me guide you. Take another breath, and now a deeper one. When you exhale, let go of all that is worrying you. You haven’t had enough with one breath to release everything? Then take another one, and one more, until you visualize all the worry, stress, anxiety, and dark clouds on your mind going away. Great! Thank you for trying.
Now, focus on inhaling the most wonderful and powerful energy that you can imagine. Every breath you take is a new beginning, and when you inhale, you take in all the new you want in your life, and when you exhale, you let go of all the old that you don’t want in your life anymore.
Why have I asked you to do this breathing exercise? Because I know that it works. Because I also needed to read it. I have the temptation to put more things on my calendar than I can accomplish. I start big projects, and travel around the world, and I serve my clients, but I need to remember that I cannot lose myself in the process, that my well-being and health are my first priority, and that nothing will make sense if I lose them.
When you feel so tired that you cannot think clearly, when you need a crane to get up from bed, when you cannot relate with others without getting triggered and angry and the smallest things bother you, stop and breathe. Just that. Reconnect with yourself, reassess your priorities, and ask for help if necessary. To whom? To whoever will come to help you.
The help you need can come from an unknown person, a colleague, a friend, a sibling, or a being sent by the Universe (there are a lot of them ready to help you if you allow it to happen), or even a book or a message. Be smart enough to not sacrifice yourself for any cause, person or reason. If you Love yourself enough you will understand why you cannot do it. You are the most valuable thing you have, and unless you are ok, you won’t be able to help anyone else.
"I’ve decided to be happy because it is good for my health" - Voltaire
Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want.