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When you ask someone the question “How are you?,” the person you are talking to will choose something in the line of “I am fine”, “All good”, “I am doing well”, but they won’t tell you what they really feel or how they are really doing at the moment, they will give you an answer that is not real. Some people think that nobody is interested in their problems, challenges or their emotional or physical health. They don’t want to bother others with their burdens, or maybe they feel that nobody will really listen with interest. Others want to keep what is not working in their lives private, and they always show a happy face to the world, even when they don’t feel happy. In this new era we post all good news in Social Media, but who do we tell the not so good news? We feel that we have to be ok all the time, that we cannot be down, that we need to be resilient no matter what we are going through, a divorce, a transition, an illness, legal problems, financial stress, the loss of someone we love... and we don’t. The fastest way, and the one that will allow you to go through life with less suffering in whatever circumstances you are going through, is not to hide what is happening, not to put it aside, not to deny it. It is to face it. When you do, be kind and compassionate with yourself and accept the situation, whatever it is. Give yourself the necessary time to process what is going on, don’t jump to the end of the process that you will need to do in order to overcome the difficulty and bounce back.  Be authentically you, no matter what is going on, be honest with yourself. Analyze yourself and your feelings, try to understand where your thoughts come from and revise old belief systems to see if they are still serving you, see your patterns of behavior as allies to point you in the right direction to change. Yes, change. Here we are again, this magic word that nobody wants to hear. Life is change. Today you are not the same person you were yesterday… even if you want to keep yourself stuck, it won’t be possible, life will kick your behind and make a move for you if you don’t. Your body changes, your cells renew, and you experience new situations, different life circumstances, interact with others, travel, read, learn, and expand your horizons. You are here to evolve and grow. You can do it smartly, easily, with Love for yourself and your life, being grateful for the opportunity to be alive. Or you can continue hiding your problems, being unfulfilled, unsatisfied, and going around with a mask and telling yourself “I am fine”. What are you going to answer the next time someone asks you how you are doing? I have a suggestion: why don’t you take a minute of your time to figure out how you really are. This time, answer yourself honestly, accept what is, without judgment. Later on, you may want to spend some time brainstorming about what you can do to improve your life and circumstances. Or you can have a pity party before you decide to let go of what is not allowing you to move forward, to release it, to move on. You always have a choice. Today, choose to make yourself happy. Do one thing for you, small or big, take action and see the change. "Your preparation for the real world is not in the answers you have learned,
but in the questions you have learned how to ask yourself" Bill Watterson
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Relationships may end, but Love is eternal. Love is the force that connects us with our loved ones through lifetimes. The bond between us may have changed, but the Love that we felt for each other will never disappear, and will always keep us connected. Every relationship that we establish has a purpose. It might be short or long. It doesn't matter. What is important is to recognize that from a soul perspective, we are in a relationship to learn how to Love and how to be loved, to grow, and to develop our potential. The feeling of unpleasantness that we might feel when we are in a relationship of any kind, is an invitation to transform ourselves, to look deep inside and find out what is triggered in us. We don't need to change the other person or the relationship. What we need, is to pay attention to our reactions and emotions, and to figure out where they come from. We can heal ourselves by doing this. The healing will be done when we will be in the same situation again, but our buttons won't be pushed, and nothing will be triggered. Relationships provide the opportunity to work on our soul's purpose in this incarnation. None of your relationships with lifetime partners, teachers, family members, colleagues, bosses, or even neighbors, are exempt of the creation of karma, or the understanding of it. Love is the force that helps us to go through it. We are on earth to experience our karma, learn our lessons, and to continue our evolution.  If two people have been married for 15 years and have evolved differently at a conscious level, from a soul perspective, one may be holding back the other in terms of growth. The relationship has lost its purpose, and the couple, eventually, will decide to separate or divorce. Their different vibration will make it happen. By being in a relationship that has lost its purpose, both are losing the opportunity to be happy in the right relationship, denying themselves the opportunity to grow and change. We become attached to the life we have, we might be too afraid of losing someone or something that we have been building for years, or to break a family or a relationship. But our soul, deep inside of us, knows that it is time for a different relationship, for a different kind of Love. Even Soul Mates cannot be together lifetime after lifetime. They need to evolve, even if it implies to part ways. Soul Mates have a bond of unconditional Love to support each other. They establish agreements before they reincarnate. But when one Soul Mate becomes too attached to the other, the other will perhaps leave the relationship, break up, or even die, to provide a lesson of detachment. The pacts that we establish with other souls in the period between lives, before we reincarnate, may change while we live our life. One soul may be busy learning other lessons, or stuck, and then another soul will help us out. We are all interconnected. We establish relationships, and live experiences, that will help us understand karmic issues that we need to solve, how to grow and evolve, and how to provide the same opportunity to others. We have more than one Soul Mate and souls that belong to our soul family, who will be there to support us in anything we need, and to assure us that we are never alone. "Karma shows itself in relationships. The people you meet, the expectations you have, the circumstances in which you relate, the kind of marriage or other association that you find yourself in, all reflect previous liaisons. You are the sum total of all your experiences, and much it will come about through relationships"
Judy Hall |
AuthorJudith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want. Archives
December 2019
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