Can you accept yourself as you are? Be totally honest with yourself when you answer the question. Maybe you are not sure you can do it, or you don't know how. Unconditional acceptance is something you must practice every day because being you, authentically you, is the most important thing you can do to live happily.
You can simulate that you have a good relationship with yourself, that you accept your flaws, mistakes, that you forgive yourself for what you believe you did wrongly. But your soul will know if you, deep inside yourself, reject yourself, cannot accept yourself as you are and criticize yourself constantly.
Having a good relationship with yourself and becoming your best friend starts with the absolute need to accept yourself as you are, and also the life you are living. You cannot say that you Love yourself if you criticize everything that happens to you, don’t appreciate your life, relationships, environment, life circumstances…
In time you will see that the self-acceptance will allow you to transform this feeling into appreciation, and then into gratefulness, and together all of these will convert your life into something greater and happier. This way you will be able to release the pressure you put on yourself to improve yourself and your life, and you will be able to become content with yourself as you are.
You may have to do an effort to accept who you are unconditionally, to say aloud “this is me”, to present yourself as you are without any protection, without adapting yourself to others or the situation, without the fear of being rejected or criticized for your ideas, way of living or your acts; this may require courage and make you feel vulnerable. Let me tell you that to be you is simpler than you imagine, because when you accept yourself the world accepts you as well.
The inner conflict between who you are and the image you want to show in public, in your job, in front of your in-laws or friends, or to get a partner, takes a lot of energy from you. It puts you in a constant state of alert to protect yourself from any mistake you can make that allows others to see the real you, the one you unconsciously want to protect from the judgment of others. Your intimate relationship with yourself should be easy, smooth, allowing you to feel relaxed and at ease in any circumstance.
If you feel that there are things about yourself and your past that you cannot forgive, this is the perfect moment to let them go, to set yourself free from a thought, experience, or situation that holds you back and makes you suffer.
To accept yourself this way you will have to learn self-forgiveness, kindness and compassion towards yourself. Just give yourself the same Love you share with others, and you will create a new relationship with yourself, one where you can discover who you are, know yourself more deeply, accept yourself and fall in Love with yourself, with the real You.
"Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself"
Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want.