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Human beings are born with a desire to share Love with others. Love is an energy that can't be controlled or managed; it must flow. For this flow to happen, it is necessary that we give and receive Love. It feels good to give Love to others; your heart connects with all you genuinely Love, and it opens up and transmits this energy. But what about receiving Love? It seems that we have more difficulty to receive than to give Love. There are moments in a person's life when Love is what they want the most but cannot feel. When there is no flow, no energy, the heart closes; nothing goes in or out. You may stop giving or receiving Love or both. You may have been disappointed, rejected, betrayed, and, as a protection mechanism, you have put your heart in a castle with thick walls to protect yourself from others who you think can hurt you again. You guard your heart because you are wounded. You may believe that this is the best solution to avoid suffering, but what you did was put your heart in the castle's prison and throw the key away. Now your heart is protected but unable to express its precious energy of Love. Time passes, and you may decide to put the walls down and start allowing the heart to open again. But some individuals who suffered a deep wound stop trusting Love forever. Love will never betray or abandon you. A human being may, but Love will always be with you because it is the energy that runs through you. It is your real essence. You have plenty of Love within you and may be unaware of it. You are a source of Love. When you truly learn to Love yourself, you understand this and stop looking for Love outside of yourself. If you have plenty of Love, you can share it with others. You not only give but also learn to receive, recognize, and appreciate all the Love shown to you.  Love comes in many forms: support, guidance, compliments, smiles, kisses, hugs, presents, resources, service, words of encouragement, empowerment, kind acts, a bouquet, a home-cooked meal… and many others. Very often, we take Love for granted. Sometimes, we don't value the Love we receive until we lose it. Pay attention to the Love that you get every day. It is for you, and it is valuable and deserves to be acknowledged. The more Love you feel for yourself, the more you can share Love with others without asking anything in return for your Love. We have been educated in a system focused on giving Love; others go first. When we are born, we are great givers of Love, but during childhood, we start believing that we must give Love to receive it. Very early in life, you learn conditional Love. That's not true Love. You can give the Love you have cultivated to anyone or anything you want, just because you decide to do it, regardless of who the other is or if they deserve to be loved. This is unconditional Love. Today, look around you and appreciate all the gifts of Love you have. They not only come from other human beings. Look at your pet and the Love it gives you, the plants in your home and garden that provide you with air, flowers, and fruits, or the sun that rises to allow you to enjoy a new day, light, and life. Appreciate the whole Universe around you. Be present enough to experience all the Love that comes your way each day. Receive and appreciate it. If you don't see Love around you, create it yourself. Bring the Love you are and have to Earth. This planet will be a different, more loving place just because you did. This is the best contribution to humanity and the Universe you can make. As an ambassador of Love, I am here to remind you that you are loved as you are. Can you receive these loving words? "Not allowing ourselves to be congratulated, celebrated, appreciated, nourished, or loved by people and events outside ourselves is a
defense designed to protect us from psychic pain. Barriers to love are erected in our unconscious as it acts on behalf of our own survival" Harville Hendrix
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Love is always available, always ready for you. You are loved, exactly as you are. Love doesn’t make distinctions and, like the sun, shines for everybody, including you. When you feel unlovable, it is because at that moment you cannot connect with Love. The paradox is that you won’t be able to receive Love from others until you can connect with the Love for yourself. Love starts within you. Appreciation for who you are, gratitude for all you have received, and self-reflection on your qualities and gifts will help you reopen the door of your heart and Love fully, totally, unconditionally. Love is the key to resolving any issue or challenge you have. Allow Love to guide your life. When you are afraid, connect with Love and you will feel powerful. When you feel sad, share your Love with others and you will feel an instant shift. When you feel unlovable or rejected, pause, and look for Love within yourself, this is true Love. When you are in pain, send some Love to the part of yourself that is aching and take proper care of it.  Love can never hurt you or disappoint you. Maybe your heart was broken or is aching right now, but that’s not Love’s fault. Love is the healing force that will help it heal it. If a relationship, of any kind, doesn’t work the way you want, don’t get angry, disappointed, or sad, and put more Love into it. Love is the solution, not the problem. Once you can Love someone in spite of who they are, then you can leave the relationship without any loose ends or unfinished business. Love, and forgiveness, are what cures all, the Love for yourself. Love will never leave you because it lives within you. Love is energy and, like any other energy, it cannot be destroyed, only transformed. Your loved ones who are not with you anymore still Love you and take care of you. You may not feel it, but ancestors, many other beings, and loved ones who passed away, are there for you. They are still alive in your heart and in all the Love you shared. Love will never abandon you because it is eternal. Believe in Love! "Love is a state of being. Your Love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it,
and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form" Eckhart Tolle When you relate to others, be sure that you build a relationship that is authentic, no matter if it is with your life-partner, a colleague, a friend, or your children. See the other person as they are, and accept them completely, all of them. Don’t try to change, fix, or tell the other person how they must be to meet your standards. To have a relationship means to support the other person, to empower them, to be there for them, but also to respect the other person and their decisions, even when you don’t like them. How difficult is to see that someone you Love deeply is stuck, confused, unhappy, or is not making the best decision (in your opinion). It can be hard to support them until they find a way out, a solution, or a new and better path in life. We frequently give unasked advice to others, with our best intentions, and it might not help the other person to move forward or to feel better. In order to relate authentically with others, you should know who you are. You see the world through your own eyes, and you decode what happens to you influenced by past experiences, your belief system, your childhood, education, and the environment you live in. When you look at someone else, try to be neutral. You may inadvertently judge others, or project into them what you have not solved in your life, haven’t overcome or understood yet, or everything you are not conscious of, because it is suppressed or repressed. We blame others for making us feel a certain way, when they are giving us an opportunity to resolve underlying issues and unconscious patterns, and to heal past wounds that still affect us in the present.  We create relationships that are based on the ideas that we have about what our connection with a person should look like. Maybe we don’t know the real ‘person,’ not because they don’t allow us to do so, but because we don’t see who they really are. Sometimes, we idealize someone and, after the honeymoon period, once we see how the other person really is, we reject them. The other person has not changed, they were always the same. What has changed is only our opinion, and we realize that we were relating to this person through the filter of our own ideas about how the relationship should be. If you want to really know someone, take your time to be with this person and build the connection; invest in it. Listen to what they say, and look at the way they act. Their behavior may speak louder than their words. When you are together, be one hundred percent present and give this person all your attention. You will perceive a lot more than mere words in a conversation. When you listen, don’t listen to answer, just listen deeply and actively. Make an effort to respond, not to react to what is said. Choose your words carefully and think if what you are going to say just fills the silence, or if it is really meaningful, uplifting, and necessary. We learn a lot in our relationships. We become better beings in relation to others. We change the lives of those whom we Love. We are transformed by the Love we give and receive. Every relationship should bring out the best of each person (hopefully!), and if this is not the case, it might be teaching you something. If a relationship you are in is not working, don't only blame the other person, always look at yourself too, and figure out what can you do on your end to improve it, even if it is just to be more loving. Look at what you bring to every one of your relationships, and try to be at your best in every encounter or conversation. Don’t ask for Love, shared it, give it freely and it will return to you multiplied. "But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between
you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls" Khalil Gibran Love is the force that connects all of us, it is the energy that transforms, heals and moves you. Only because of Love your existence makes sense, because you were born to learn how to Love unconditionally and how to receive this kind of Love. True Love never disappears, it cannot be killed, or extinguished. Unconditional Love never does. The real Love that I aspire to bring to the world is such a powerful energy that it can never be destroyed. It is the kind of Love a baby or a pet awakes within you. It is more than a feeling, it lasts more than a relationship or a friendship because it is always there. It is big Love, Love with a capital "L". What we learn since childhood is usually conditional Love, the one that only exchanges affection for affection, and always wants something in return, the one that tries to control or possess you, the one that you may lose at any moment if you don't behave in a certain way. But that is not Love.  If someone tells you "I Love you", don't listen to the words, see what their acts say. Love has to be demonstrated to be real Love; it cannot be just a word. When you Love someone truly, unconditionally, for no specific reasons, you experience divine Love. You can Love someone in spite of themselves. Not because they are doing something for you, not even because they are in a relationship with you. You can Love others and yourself because you choose to. When your Love comes from you and it is based on your decision to Love everything and everyone no matter what, it is real Love. Then you don't have to wait for others to Love you, because you recognize and connect with the Love within yourself and, being filled with it, you can share it with others and multiply it. It comes back into your life from everywhere, as a result of you sharing your Love constantly and unconditionally. Love is energy and can be felt by others. There is no need to tell everyone I Love you. You can do it with your intention. Your energy will tell the rest of the world how loving you are, and your actions will demonstrate it. If you want to make the world a better place, the only thing that you need to do is to be more loving. This will not only transform your life, it will transform the life of those you touch, and the world as a result. Just Love! "True love begins when nothing is looked for in return"
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry All of us want to feel loved. We want to receive proof that we are loved. We want dedication and attention. We can even withdraw our Love when we are not sure if another person loves us, or when we feel insecure in a relationship. But Love is never conditional. Real Love does not expect retribution, a guarantee, and has no obligation. Love just gives without expecting anything in return. Love just wants to be expressed. The world of Love seems to be complicated. Some cannot find it, others had it and lost it, there are people that have never experienced it, others are afraid of it, or cannot express the Love they have inside themselves. We aim to poses something that we don't even know how to describe, to find, or to keep. Love can take you to the moon, make you feel special, bring out the best in you, and allow you to become a better person. But Love can make you feel miserable and vulnerable, and break your heart, and so many people have built tall walls to protect themselves from it because they believe that Love hurts. How it possible that Love can be so desired, and we all want to experience it and, at the same time, loving seems so scary and it creates so much suffering? Every relationship that we establish is an opportunity to learn how to Love and to be loved. Love is a choice. It is a state of being. It is a decision we can make, even in spite of the other person. We Love because we decide to. When we Love no matter what, for no specific reason, or without expecting anything in return, we are loving unconditionally.  To be able to Love others you have to Love yourself first. By doing that, you will be able to share your Love without asking anything in return, without trying to control or possess the other person in order to assure your dose of Love. Your own Love will support you, and will allow you to be more compassionate, understanding, and less judgmental with others. Love is free like the wind, or it is not Love. You cannot demand to be loved; it has to be given to you freely. Love is a flow, we offer our Love and we receive Love. When you invest all your energy in loving yourself, you create a full battery of Love that is ready to be shared with others. You will be able to give Love without the need to receive it. Love will arrive to you anyway, your essence of Love will attract more Love into your life. The Love that you express, the Love of who you are, will make you so attractive and irresistible. Love is not an exchange. Love is what you already have within you, and you share. It is the energy that drives you. It is the solution to any problem you may have. It is the key that unlocks all hearts. Be Love. "It is all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you,
rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit" Eartha Kitt Love is powerful. It is a force that transforms you and allows you to grow. Loving, you become the best version of yourself. Love is the force of your inner being, the fuel it needs to accomplish the agenda of your soul, and to do all you are capable of, even if you are not aware of it yet. The Love for everyone that crosses your path, and travels with you through the journey of your life, will transform your existence and theirs too. Love is the way you relate with others and with the entire Universe. Love is who you are. It is within you like the seed of a plant that grows and whose flowers blossom. The Universe is waiting for you to open your heart, totally, unconditionally. Then, a new kind of Love will grow within you. A Love without barriers and limits, a Love for everything that exists, not only people or animals, but also nature, water, air, light... a Love that does not separate by the color of the skin, teams, countries, or religions. A universal Love, an unconditional Love. Let me tell you what Love is and is not about. Love is not attachment, just being with someone, an agreement. Love is not sacrifice or stopping loving yourself to be able to Love others. Love is not sharing whatever is there; in Love we create together a new Universe. Love is not pain; Love has the power to heal you and others. Love is not need or possession, Love, because of its nature, is free like the wind. Love cannot be bought, acquired or controlled, or it stops being Love.  Can you imagine what kind of world you would create if instead of sending Love only to those that belong to your family, friends, and those you cherish, you sent it to everyone and everything? Let me guide you through a nice dream... Imagine that instead of bad mood, anger, hatred, control, jealousy... you will only receive Love. How would the entire world change if every one of us, every day, every moment, focused on sending Love and being open to it? Hatred does not help you to solve anything. It is like a poison you drink that makes you sick while you are taking it. It may feel good at the beginning, but in the long term, it will only create sickness in you. If you keep hating, only you will become stuck. The person, situation, or the event you hate, might have changed or moved on, or forgiven themselves or you. It is not good or bad to hate; none of our emotions are good or bad, they are just indicators of how near or far we are from Love. Love only brings joy and happiness. If you are suffering for Love, then it is not Love, it is something else. Call Love and Love with come. Send Love and Love will arrive. Become Love and see yourself blossoming. Whatever you go you will see Love. Travel around the world and see that independently of the language they speak, the climate, how rich they are or the location in the map, people believe in Love. In the middle of a conflict, war, or invasion, there is still Love. Love always survives. It cannot be destroyed and like energy, it constantly manifests and transforms itself. You don't need someone else to change the world. You can do it on your own. You have the most powerful weapon that has ever existed: it is Love. Are you ready to share your Love? "Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get -only with what
you are expecting to give- which is everything" Katherine Hepburn Love is a state of being. It is not something that comes from the outside. Love is not a feeling, it is who you are. Look deep inside of yourself and you will find it. Love is abundant. It comes from you and it flows outwards to everyone. Love resides in you and it is dormant, waiting until the moment you awaken it within you. All the Love of the world cannot make you feel loved, if you are not able to Love yourself. You won't be able to recognize true Love coming from others, if you don't feel it coming from yourself. Love yourself simply because you are. You don't need to change or to accomplish anything to Love yourself. You only need to be committed to it. You are lovable the way you are. Accept yourself, and have the certainty that you don't need to do anything to be loved by others. Don't seek for external approval. You don't need to act in a certain way to receive Love, or to behave like others say, or to please others. Love, true Love, is unconditional. Try to be the best version of yourself, but be always authentic.  Be sure that you live in the world of Love; that Love guides and inspires you; that you act in a Loving way. Love is the energy that makes you feel alive. Love is the solution to any problem. Find the way to share your Love. Tell your loved ones how you much you Love them, and demonstrate it with your actions. Give hugs, smile more frequently, embrace, kiss, share your laughter every time you can, share your joy. Learn how to Love. Give Love, but don't lose yourself in the process. Learn how to show your affection without the need to control or possess, without expectations, without wanting anything in return, without being afraid of losing your loved one. Love because you want to Love. Enjoy the Love! “In your heart is all the love you need”
Don Miguel Ruiz We are born with the capability to Love and to be loved. Why does it become complicated to share our Love and establish relationships as adults? A child is a being full of Love. He knows perfectly how to express it. He is sharing it all the time. He knows what true Love is. It seems that when we grow up we become afraid of loving. It became so important for us to be accepted, to not be rejected that we will do everything in our hands to get the Love we want. At that moment, we start searching for Love outside of ourselves. A lot of people think that they will start to Love when they find the right person. But the process works in exactly the opposite way. When they start to Love they will find the right person to share their Love with. It seems to be a matter of chance to be lucky enough to find someone to Love, but it is not. Be Love, surround yourself with it, and you will attract Love into your life. The idea that we have about Love has been created by the influences that we have received during our whole life: the relationship of our parents, the religious group we belong to, our school, our friends, the films we watched and the stories others told us. Our first experiences in romantic relationships will also contribute to our idea about what Love is and how we have to feel in a relationship. Everybody talks about Love or the absence of it but, what is True Love? We have a lot of expectations when we establish a relationship. Nobody told us that to Love someone is to accept them the way they are. We create an internal image of what the relationship has to be, and when our expectations are not fulfilled, we blame the other person. We try to control the behavior of our partner because we don’t like it. The relationship becomes a war to see who gets control over the other. True Love doesn’t have expectations.  We cannot share what we don’t have. The question is do you Love yourself? Or saying it in a different way, do you accept yourself the way you are? How are you going to accept others if you are not able to do it with yourself? Learn to Love yourself and then you will be able to share your Love with others. You cannot ask others to Love you if you are not able to do it. True Love starts with Self-Love. True Love accepts the other as she is. We want the other to make us happy, to complete us. How can we put our happiness in his/her hands? Happiness is a feeling that comes from inside of us. It is the result of Love coming out of you. The only one that can provide you with happiness is yourself. When we don’t get what we want in a relationship, we start judging our partner. We judge him/her for what he does and for what he doesn’t do. He is not fitting into our idea of the way he or she has to behave in a relationship and we don’t accept it. We are not able to change it and we feel unhappy as a consequence. Real Love does not judge. Are we able to do that with the person we are sharing our life with? Can we stop judging and start accepting? True Love doesn’t judge. True Love does not have expectations. It accepts everything that is given and is grateful for it. Real Love does not have obligations. It is Love without a reason. We Love because we want to. We don’t need a reason or to justify it. It does not expect anything in return. If I Love unconditionally, I don’t feel hurt because of the quantity of Love I am receiving from my partner. True Love respects and does not try to control or manipulate. Love forgives. Love is generous. Love is kind. “For true love is inexhaustible; the more you give, the more you have. And if you go to draw at the true fountainhead, the more water you draw, the more abundant is its flow”
Antoine de Saint-Exupery |
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Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want. Archives
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