New, fresh, start, beginning! Each moment of every day offers you an opportunity to start a new life. A lot of people tend to think that January 1st, the beginning of the month, or next Monday, are perfect dates to take action and change their life, set up new goals, or decide to stop doing something they believe is not good for them. I suggest you don’t wait anymore. Whatever you want to do or change, now is the moment.
Don’t follow old strategies in order to transform your life. Find new ways and motivation inside yourself, improve your life because you deserve it. Do it for you! In order to change you invest energy on what you have decided you should do, or stop doing, from now on. Maybe it’s dealing with your weight, health issues, finances... all of these are just different objectives, but what you will experience while you try to live in a different way will be similar.
You want to do it, you start focusing on the new goal, inner motivation pushes you for the first days or weeks, and then, inadvertently, you lose the energy you started the process with. Life happens and you cannot find the time, you get caught up in something, you have more work than usual, you experience challenges at home... and your non-achieved goal, whatever it was, realistic or not, big or small, achievable or a pipe-dream, goes to the list of things that you tried but didn’t happen.
Now you have a new problem: you feel that you have failed yourself. You haven’t solved what you wanted or you haven’t achieved your goal, your life is still the same, nothing has changed. In this moment of realization, lots of feelings can appear, like frustration, anger, sadness… but you need to be kind and compassionate with yourself and apply a little bit of self-forgiveness.
You did what you could. You have your list of good reasons why you couldn’t do it: a lack of energy, it wasn’t the right moment to initiate the change… it doesn’t matter what happened. Let it go! You tried, and it is the important. Doing your best is enough but, if you decide to focus on the same goal again, you should find a new way to achieve it. Think differently, open yourself to new ideas or methods.
Ask yourself practical questions. Can you find help from experts in the field, maybe through books, videos, podcasts, classes, or online learning? Can you plan differently? Should you hire a coach who will take you by the hand and accompany you throughout your process? Do you need someone who will keep you accountable? Can you learn how to be more persistent and not give up? How can you avoid getting distracted from your goal? Where can you find new tools to change more easily?
What you really need is a radical shift in perspective. Love yourself enough to choose a way of living that includes what is important for you. You can live worried about what is not working or lacking in your life, in a constant state of tension and stress, or... not. Learn how to dedicate yourself to what you desire. Take action today!
Real change comes from within, don't try to change only the external circumstances of your life. Start spending time in your own company, learn to be consciously present, know yourself better. Find a space within you where you can relax, where the outer world doesn’t affect you and you can be still, at peace, and charge batteries.
Do some inner work. Spend time with yourself and connect with who you are in essence, and immediately you will reconnect with the entire Universe, with whom you are one. Inspiration, new ideas, and the necessary energy to create a new life will arrive to you while you are in this state of being.
Use mindfulness, journaling, meditation, walking in nature, looking at the stars, or whatever works for you. What matters is not the technique or tool you use, but the understanding that beyond the one who thinks, acts, judges and worries, there is a much more powerful being that can flow with life.
Living in a state of flow is the secret of happiness. You cannot change reality, but you can flow with it. You can look at it differently, you can have a different understanding, or experience it in another way. This will transform you and your life radically. This is a new way of living.
"No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change"
Barbara De Angelis
Let it go, stop carrying it inside you. You travel through life with so much stuff within yourself, lots of unprocessed emotions such as sadness, grief, shame, anger, frustration... the list can be so long. Each of us has our own combination of events and experiences that affected us and still live inside us. A lot of what happened to you has been forgotten, or it is even unconscious (you are unaware of it), but it does not matter, it runs you and affects your life with a strong power. It is important for you to let go of what is not serving you anymore.
The same way you take a shower to clean your body, you should find a way to clean your emotional body, to quiet your mind, and to give peace to your heart. These unresolved, unprocessed, and even the not expressed emotions and thoughts, affect your life. Maybe you believe that you have overcome all of it, or that it was not as important, or that time will help you to cope with it. It may seem like this, but it is not true.
Some of the things you did not say because you did not want to argue or upset another person, or the occasions when you could not say what you thought or felt because the other person was more powerful than you, like a boss, a parent, or any other authority figure, remain in your system. If you accumulate so much and never free yourself of it, your physical body gets affected, stressed, and you can become sick.
We tend to please others, especially because we want their Love and acceptance. Sometimes you may be afraid of the consequences of saying what you really believe, and decide not to do it and keep it to yourself. Exactly at this moment you stop being your authentic self. There are moments when you may be afraid of losing the Love of someone, or being abandoned, and you conform yourself to a situation and become small. In some cases, you may not know how to set up boundaries, and others pass your limits and abuse you. How many times have you experienced any of these scenarios?
Don't be afraid of looking inside yourself. I invite you to do some inner work. You may think that you don't need to, but all that is happening in your inner world is affecting your reality. It will be very difficult to change your circumstances, not to say impossible, if you don't change what is happening within you. Inside yourself, you will find all the pain stuffed, but also all your potential and creativity; you will be able to know the real you, and to connect with your intuition. You will discover yourself and reconnect with your source of Love, Self-Love, and find the joy and happiness that you seek and deserve.
"Sometimes you just have to let go of the old and trust that something better is going to take its place,
even if it's scary to face change and the unknown"
Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want.