When something negative or that you don't like happens to you, it changes how you feel. Not only do you have to deal with what happened, but also with your reaction toward it. You may be faced with a version of yourself that you don't want to see. One that says you are not good enough and that you can't succeed in life. You may feel guilty or ashamed for what happened, or you have no doubt that this is your fault. Perhaps you have so much anger or sadness that you cannot move forward.
There are moments in life when you get stuck. Something so big happens to you that it knocks you down and puts you out of the game. You want it to go away, and you decide after processing the situation that you will let it go. But you don't know how. Loving yourself in this moment of your life is the first step. You should let it go because you deserve to be free to continue your life. Whatever is going on shouldn't determine the rest of your life. Nothing has to change for you to be all right. You can be well within the chaos and in the middle of the problems. This is an essential realization because we usually don't think this is possible.
It is complicated to let go of something you are judging and analyzing all the time. The thoughts of what happened keep coming to your mind, and it may seem impossible to disconnect from them. You cannot disconnect because you haven't decided to let it go. The power of forgiveness, of yourself or others, can help you release the burden you carry and let go of it. You don't have to change the external circumstances you are facing. You have to change the way you see yourself in relation to them.
It may seem difficult to believe that in the most challenging circumstances, you can still Love yourself. Is in those moments when you need to accept yourself, and the mistakes you think you made and be at peace with yourself. Self-Love will give you more power to change the circumstances than criticism, judgment, and guilt. You shouldn't make yourself suffer. Try instead to support yourself to overcome what you are facing. It may require practice, but the best way out of anything is to choose to Love yourself no matter what happens. Take care of yourself with understanding and kindness.
You may not be used to supporting yourself when the present and future don't look promising, but your life can change at any moment if you allow it to happen. Yes, life happens, and you can lose yourself. But loving yourself to the fullest will help you stay calm and reconnect with a joyous future. Put your attention on your state of being, in reconnecting with who you are and your power, before trying to fix any other detail of your life.
Love will save you in any given circumstance. Love comforts you, understands you, forgives you, and is always caring and kind to you. This Love doesn't come from outside; it comes from within yourself. You have the power to create Love and to use it to transform your life and the lives of others. No other force is more important than Love, the Love for yourself. It will take you to the highest levels possible and rescue you when you fall. Love is there for you. Always there.
"When we are experiencing immeasurable pain, fear, and sorrow, when we are vulnerable and tender, that is the very time to turn toward experience rather than to escape it. It is the very time when we most need acceptance; when
we most need Love. To Love then, as it is meant here, is to remain fully
present, with self and others, when difficult internal conditions arise"
Robyn D. Walser
Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want.