I invite you to try, even if it is your goal only for one day, not to expect any result from your actions or the events you experience during these hours. Just accept whatever is arriving into your life. Focus your attention on being totally present with what is happening, with what is. Change the habit of expecting an outcome, good or bad, just be there and observe. Go with the flow.
Don't consider anything as positive or negative; don't create a future scenario with the power of your expectations. Your life path is not mapped out. You are the master of your destiny. You have a free will and the power to transform your life. But you won't see other possibilities unless you allow yourself to be helped by the higher power. Do you know why? Because when you expect something to happen, exactly in that moment, you are sending a message to the Universe.
The Universe is always working on making your desires real. Be aware of what you expect, because when you imagine that something will go wrong you, energetically, are making your expectations real. Be mindful not only of your desire; be also mindful of your expectations of what you don't want to happen to you. After you ask for a new job, more clients, the approval of your project, or meeting your Soul Mate, watch your thoughts and your energy.
Be sure that you rely on yourself and in the power of the Universe to bring you what you desire. It is not necessary that you tell the Universe how to deliver what you have asked for or when. Everything will happen within a divine timing. The higher power will figure out how you will get what you desire and when it the best moment for you to receive it.
You have to be sure you have faith and to feel that is already happening. Be clear in your mind. Feel confident. You deserve what you desire. Be in no doubt of it. You need be sure that you don't cancel your order to the Universe with your fears, doubts and negative expectations. Keep your desires alive and don't expect. Whatever you want and ask for is already happening. Allow yourself to receive it.
"We are mindful of desire when we experience it with an embodied awareness, recognizing the sensations and thoughts of wanting and arising and passing phenomena. While this isn't easy; as we cultivate
the clear seeing and compassion of Radical Acceptance, we discover we can open fully to
this natural force, and remain free in its midst"
All of us have our own idea about what is Love and how we want to be loved. You have your own expectations about how your loved ones have to behave and how they have to demonstrate their Love to you. You may think that Love is conditional and that it depends on what others do or don't do for you, but let me tell you that there is a different kind of Love, true Love.
Let go of your expectations about what your relationships should be and what will you receive. When you Love, give your Love freely, don't expect anything in return. Don't ask for Love, give it and it will come back to you multiplied. You are a source of Love, the Love starts within you, and it is abundant.
Your happiness doesn't depend on the Love you receive from others, it is connected with the way you Love yourself and others. Don't be disappointed because of the behavior of those you Love. Accept them the way they are, don't ask them to change. Don't control them or their Love. Don't measure the quantity of Love you receive, Love others without expecting a determined outcome, just Love, and Love unconditionally.
To be able to Love without conditions and expectations, you need to Love yourself the same way. If you are non-judgmental with yourself, you will be able to be the same way with others. If you can forgive yourself for whatever happens in your life, it will be easier for you to forgive others. You can Love madly, passionately and with all your heart, but you need to start with yourself.
What you miss in a relationship is sometimes what you are not able to give to yourself. If you want more attention, or proofs of Love, ask yourself if you are giving it to yourself. If you cannot trust your partner, think if you are self-confident enough and if you trust yourself. If you are afraid of losing the Love of others, see if there is fear of abandonment in yourself. Sometimes, we ask others to behave in a certain way when we cannot do it, or when there is an unresolved issue that needs our attention.
There are so many ways of relating to one to another. We all seek Love, consciously or unconsciously, but our ideas about what Love is and our expectations can be different. You have learned what Love is through the relationships you have established, from what you watched in the media, what others shared with you, and also from the relationship your parents had between them and with you, and the way you were raised. Your idea about what Love is will also depend on your nature, the way you are, and how much you value and Love yourself. There is one Love, but so many ways of loving. Drop your expectations about how to be loved and about how Love should make you feel. Live your Love!
“True love begins when nothing is looked for in return”
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
We are born with the capability to Love and to be loved. Why does it become complicated to share our Love and establish relationships as adults? A child is a being full of Love. He knows perfectly how to express it. He is sharing it all the time. He knows what true Love is. It seems that when we grow up we become afraid of loving. It became so important for us to be accepted, to not be rejected that we will do everything in our hands to get the Love we want. At that moment, we start searching for Love outside of ourselves.
A lot of people think that they will start to Love when they find the right person. But the process works in exactly the opposite way. When they start to Love they will find the right person to share their Love with. It seems to be a matter of chance to be lucky enough to find someone to Love, but it is not. Be Love, surround yourself with it, and you will attract Love into your life.
The idea that we have about Love has been created by the influences that we have received during our whole life: the relationship of our parents, the religious group we belong to, our school, our friends, the films we watched and the stories others told us. Our first experiences in romantic relationships will also contribute to our idea about what Love is and how we have to feel in a relationship. Everybody talks about Love or the absence of it but, what is True Love?
We have a lot of expectations when we establish a relationship. Nobody told us that to Love someone is to accept them the way they are. We create an internal image of what the relationship has to be, and when our expectations are not fulfilled, we blame the other person. We try to control the behavior of our partner because we don’t like it. The relationship becomes a war to see who gets control over the other. True Love doesn’t have expectations.
We cannot share what we don’t have. The question is do you Love yourself? Or saying it in a different way, do you accept yourself the way you are? How are you going to accept others if you are not able to do it with yourself? Learn to Love yourself and then you will be able to share your Love with others. You cannot ask others to Love you if you are not able to do it. True Love starts with Self-Love. True Love accepts the other as she is.
We want the other to make us happy, to complete us. How can we put our happiness in his/her hands? Happiness is a feeling that comes from inside of us. It is the result of Love coming out of you. The only one that can provide you with happiness is yourself.
When we don’t get what we want in a relationship, we start judging our partner. We judge him/her for what he does and for what he doesn’t do. He is not fitting into our idea of the way he or she has to behave in a relationship and we don’t accept it. We are not able to change it and we feel unhappy as a consequence. Real Love does not judge. Are we able to do that with the person we are sharing our life with? Can we stop judging and start accepting? True Love doesn’t judge.
True Love does not have expectations. It accepts everything that is given and is grateful for it. Real Love does not have obligations. It is Love without a reason. We Love because we want to. We don’t need a reason or to justify it. It does not expect anything in return. If I Love unconditionally, I don’t feel hurt because of the quantity of Love I am receiving from my partner. True Love respects and does not try to control or manipulate. Love forgives. Love is generous. Love is kind.
“For true love is inexhaustible; the more you give, the more you have. And if you go to draw at the true fountainhead, the more water you draw, the more abundant is its flow”
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want.