I have realized that the primary cause of suffering is that we accumulate unresolved issues, rejected feelings, problems that we never overcame, misunderstandings with others, or pain from relationships that didn’t work out. We carry all of that with us. Most people don’t know how to let go, release or forgive; but these concepts allow us to live more freely and happily.
If you are able to observe, mindfully, every one of your feelings when they appear, accepting them, by mindful observation, you will be in touch with what you feel. Just breathe and feel what you feel. You are not your fear, sadness, or despair. But the feeling takes you over and makes you feel one with it. But understand that its message has to be loud, or you won’t pay attention. When fear, anger, or anxiety appear, don’t fight them. Instead, say, hello fear! Or hello, anger! Why are you here?
If what we feel is unpleasant, we tend to reject the feeling. We want it to disappear; the sooner the better. We don’t take the time to feel it and be with it. If it lasts, we practice evasion. We run away from it, distracting ourselves with food, alcohol, watching TV, shopping, or getting busy in any other way. But the feeling won’t go away because it has not been felt. We just put it in a closet in our heart and try to forget that it is there, in stock.
But you can transform any feeling into something else. Get the message of the emotion, be with it, and take it to the next level. For example, when someone is mean to you, and you get angry because of it, you have two problems: the anger you received and the anger you feel now as a result. What if you take that anger and transform it into understanding about the person or situation?
Consider that maybe this person is full of anger that they don’t know how to release. What happened wasn’t personal. You just happened to be with that person when the anger hidden in the closet of their heart became too great and had to be released. Or maybe the person is in pain, sick, or very afraid, and they don’t know what to do with their feelings. Would you be more understanding if you knew the situation in their life that is causing the pain that created that state of anger? This way, you can transform anger into understanding.
Forgiveness is an unknown concept. Most people have the idea that in order to forgive you need to forget that certain events happened, accept the pain, and tell the person who hurt you ‘I forgive you’ because I am a good person and I shouldn’t hate you anymore. But this is not the forgiveness I am talking about. To forgive someone or something is to set yourself free from it. Since the moment you forgive yourself or others, you disconnect energetically from the event or situation. You have released it. It is that simple.
Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person. It is only about you. It is not about forgiving an event or suffering created by another person. The event is just an experience. You survived it, and now it is part of your story. It only matters in the present moment if you decide that it does. When you forgive, you don’t forget or condone. You choose to live freely in the present moment where you can create the life you desire, not in the past, where those events happened.
Letting go of something that has been part of your identity for a long time can be scary. If I have been a victim because something terrible happened to me and I have lived in anger, pain, or sadness for years, I may not know who I will be without that anger or despair. Maybe you are thinking, “How can I be happy when this happened to me?” You can, because you choose to.
The most devastating situation, the loss of a loved one, an illness, abuse, betrayal, poverty… is just that, a situation that created certain feelings. And they can be transformed. You can heal yourself from all of it. Let them go. Only you can do it. Are you ready? If you want to work privately with me on releasing and forgiving, send me an email at email@example.com.
"In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself"
We often want something, we want it with all our hearts, and yet we deny it to ourselves. We operate from mental processes that prevent us from accepting what we ask for. It is something more common than you imagine, not realizing that with attitudes like "I'm not good enough," "it won't happen to me," "everyone gets it except me," "I don't deserve it," and similar thoughts, we lose what we could have and what we deserve.
All these thoughts or patterns are recorded in our mind, and fully functioning at an unconscious (and conscious) level. How does all this happen without us even realizing it? Sometimes it is a very subtle thing that we are not aware of and others a deeply rooted pattern. We can only receive what we think we deserve. It is as if I placed an order online, and when they are going to deliver it to my home, I do not open the door to the delivery man. I have asked for it, I have paid for it, it has cost me time and effort, but I cannot receive it because I do not think it is for me.
Let me explain it to you through an example. Suppose I want to live in a mansion, but I do not have money to buy and maintain it. In that case, I will not believe that I can achieve my dream, nor make it real, because I do not think I will be able to raise that amount of money. Perhaps I also believe that mansions are only for millionaires. All these thoughts and many more are embedded in my belief system. However, if I want to live in a four-bedroom apartment, and I live in a three-bedroom apartment, it is easier for me to imagine moving from my current apartment to a larger one, and paying for it through a salary increase or a successful investment. This is how your mind works. But it is not the way the Universe operates.
The Universe can guarantee you anything. It can, within divine timing, deliver to you any request that you make and that you are capable of receiving. Very often, that is the problem, your ability to receive. If it exceeds your level of imagination and confidence, if it is greater than what you think you can receive, if you think it will never be yours, if you do not understand that you are sabotaging your opportunities, you will not be able to receive it.
The Universe never judges your wishes; it only gets to work to make them come true once you have formulated them, really, with intention, specifically. For the Universe, manifesting for you a studio, a four-bedroom apartment, or a mansion, is the same. You are the one who has problems in this regard, limitations, lack of faith, or unbelief.
It is not about waiting with your arms crossed; you must collaborate in the process and follow the directions of the Universe, which will guide you step by step to where you want to go. In our example, you should see different apartments and look for the right one. Don't sit on the couch and wait. But the secret to success is to take it for granted the moment you request something.
For everything to work, you must feel that what you have asked for is already yours. Feeling it as yours is what tells the Universe that you are capable of receiving it, that you are willing, that you are serious. It is your energy and the power of your imagination that allows you to manifest. If you see yourself living in that four-bedroom apartment, you feel it, and you see all your belongings organized, the house decorated your own way, each of your children in a new room, that's how it will be. Everything is perfect just as you imagine it, and everything will be great in that beautiful apartment that is waiting for you, just as you want it, or even better.
The Universe has unlimited power that you, as a human being, are not capable of understanding. It will create the circumstances, the encounters, the way to get you not only the right apartment but the most favorable conditions and the money to pay for it, if you allow it to. That is the crucial element, allowing yourself to receive the help of that higher power that governs everything if you let it. It is a loving energy that is there to serve and help you in any situation. That will always deliver what you want. Let's start the process by desiring something. What do you want?
If you need assistance or more information on how to manifest your life's desires, reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
"Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes, and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives"
You have a system of inner guidance. A voice inside you that whispers to you the best way to proceed, what to pay attention to, what to avoid, and anything you need. This is a system you have installed since you were born that connects you to the Source, life, and yourself.
Your inner guidance, like a GPS, will tell you where you are, how to arrive where you want to go, what is the fastest route, the nicer but slower one, which paths to avoid, and where the roadblocks are. Support is always available to you. You wouldn’t think about not using your GPS to get somewhere faster and safer, but you may not be listening to your inner guidance. It is there to serve you, and it is just for you, customized.
We are all students on Earth, students of life. We have lessons to master in this incarnation, and we agreed, from a soul perspective, to assist others with their assignments. You help your kids with their homework, or a colleague with a project, right? I’m talking about the same but on a bigger scale. No matter what life throws at you, your guidance system is there in place to help you move forward, overcome, or figure out what is the best next step in your life or how to resolve things.
You are a drop in the ocean, and you, individually, have an essence, a soul, your uniqueness. But at the same time, you are the ocean itself. You have the power of the ocean in a drop of water. We are all part of the ocean, and we are not just drops of water left alone to figure it all out. The Universe (the ocean), with its immense intelligence, that we cannot even understand fully, is there for you; it has your back. Unfortunately, we sometimes refuse its help, thinking that we can do everything on our own.
Some people call it intuition or sixth sense. I call it inner guidance or connection. “Connection to what?”, you might be thinking—connection to the Source of information and Love. You are wired to be connected with a higher power, call it what you want, that will assist you in any way you need it to.
The connection allows you to feel supported, guided, and not alone. You are connected to it, but if you don’t get the signal, look at what might be standing between you and the Source. This is as simple as WIFI: when you connect to it you should have the fastest connection, but sometimes it doesn’t happen, but the system is in place and you only have to make yourself available to receive this guidance.
How can you listen to your inner guidance? I have several ideas on how you can do it, but I would prefer that you decide which one works best for you. You can start by connecting with what we call intuition. You can buy a good book about this topic, and practice. You can also follow the flow of signs and synchronicities the Universe is always sending you. Once you start paying attention to them, they come more frequently.
You can just pay attention and be in silence, meditate, or relax by listening to the waves or looking at the stars, and you will hear your inner guidance. You can play around with your dreams, and ask them to offer you guidance. If you want to go deeper, you can tap into the field of information of the Akashic Records and receive personalized information from the Masters of the Akashic Records.
If you need assistance or more information on how to connect with your inner guidance system, reach out to me at email@example.com
"I know what's best for me, and I want to do things my way. So, now I listen to my inner voice
and my heart -and that's how I make my decisions"
Laughing will improve your mood in general, but laughter has countless benefits. It strengthens your immune system and decreases the level of stress. When you laugh, your body releases endorphins, natural wellbeing and feel-good hormones. This is the reason why laughter will help you to reduce pain by lowering physical tension in your body. Laughter is a great medicine!
Life is worthwhile if there is joy and laughter in it. Maybe you don’t feel like laughing at the circumstances you are facing right now, but I invite you to do it anyway. Tell your body that there is a way to look at life from a more positive perspective and laugh; your body will tell your mind. Laughing is an excellent way to strengthen your resilience.
Smile is the beginning of laughter. Practice it more frequently. When I go for a walk, I gift everyone I meet with a smile. Most of the recipients of my smiles, smile back. Some people are looking at their phones, not at me, but I say hi and smile at them anyway. It is my decision to smile. I don’t do it expecting anything in return. But I can tell you that it changes my mood and affects every person that crosses my path.
Laugh at yourself. Don’t take yourself so seriously. I learned this from my husband, who takes life as it comes and can face anything by using humor. I am not wired like him, but I’ve learned. I try to look at the funny side of every situation. I ask myself in front of difficulty or a challenging moment that seems so important now, if I will look back on this and laugh in the future. Or even if I can laugh now. It is a good idea to surround yourself with positive and good-hearted people, that are always ready to remind you of the need to smile.
Seek out more humor and create opportunities to laugh by watching a comedy, TV show, or short video. I watch funny cat videos if I find myself down for whatever reason. The cats and my laughter cheer me up immediately. You can also remember a funny moment or incident. Think back at the hilarious moments, little things you have experienced, and smile again. Laughter therapy uses humor to improve your sense of wellbeing. You don’t need a funny event; you can laugh without such an experience, it is called simulated laughter, and it works. And who knows, it may even lead you to spontaneous laughter.
Laughter brings people together and improves your relationships by allowing you to find a way to have difficult conversations, for example. Laughter is contagious and a powerful way to transform our existence and make us happier. If you smile at three strangers today, and they make smile at three more, in twenty reiterations, the whole world will be smiling. It will be a wonderful Universe. Make a difference in the world, one smile at a time. Tomorrow I invite you to give smiles, and you will see your day changed.
"Too often, we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around"
All of us want to feel loved. Love is an important matter. We frequently talk about the heart and Love. We use lots of heart expressions, such as: "to have a change of heart," "be big-hearted," "broken-hearted," "with hope in the heart," "my heart bleeds." We understand that our heart, physically and emotionally speaking, plays an essential role in our lives.
Do you know how to connect with your heart? I thought I did. The other day I was doing a guided meditation and the messages that it included were: connect with your heart, feel into your heart, know it by heart, breathe life into your heart, awaken to Love... It should be easy to follow these instructions, but it wasn’t.
It is all about energy. I know it. It is about connecting with the energy of the heart. I know how to direct energy into my heart, but am I doing it? Am I connecting? I am so used to living in my head, in the world of thought, that it feels difficult to know how to connect with my heart.
I realized that my heart is numbed. That I crave Love, passion, excitement and fulfillment in life but, at the same time, I don’t allow myself to feel all my feelings. Especially the painful ones. I tell myself that I am ok. I do it unconsciously, as a protective mechanism because I don’t want to suffer. But how can I feel the most intense joy if I don’t allow myself to feel the most profound sadness or sorrow? When we are afraid of suffering, we close the doors of the heart. The emotions can’t flow. Love cannot go in or out. And we feel disconnected and alone.
Do you listen to your heart? From a medical perspective, we can listen to the physical heart better than ever. We have all sorts of technology to do it. We can monitor our heartbeat, measure our blood pressure and much more. But we don’t listen to what the heart has to say to us, or maybe we receive the messages and we ignore them. We trust rational thinking, our analytical mind. There is a different truth, the wisdom of the heart. Pay attention to the messages of your heart!
A healthy heart is always open and allows the blood in without discrimination. It accepts and lets in. We do the same when we open our heart and allow the flow of Love from ourselves or others to come to us. The physical heart never holds back. It continually releases the blood to allow the flow in the circulatory system. It is what should happen with healthy Love. It should be a flow; we give and we receive Love. We have to be open to Love in order to receive, and never withdraw or stop the flow of Love.
The heart keeps the life energy flowing, and Love keeps us alive. The heart is the center and the seat of Love. Let’s keep our sacred heart healthy, and allow it to be full of Love to share. It will shift your energy and the energy of those around you. I Love you from the bottom of my heart!
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched -
they must be felt with the heart"
We all want to be recognized, understood, and loved in our close relationships. It is crucial to invest energy in demonstrating to the person you are relating to that you really care about them. The most important gift you can offer a loved one is your undivided attention and a real interest in who they are. Don't take anyone for granted.
You don't need try to guess who the person you Love is in essence, or what is important in their world. Ask questions! Show your interest in discovering their dreams, what they wish and why, what excites and worries them, what makes them feel happy or frustrated. Ask them anything that helps you understand them and their universe; what is the reason they wake up every morning, what they appreciate. Listen carefully to the answers. Be totally there, just listening without reacting, not trying to figure out a response. Just take it in.
Once you have received all that the other person shared with you, you will realize that there were more than words. The body language, the tone of voice, how relaxed the person is, a smile, or the pauses or silence during the conversation, will tell you as much as the words this person chooses. Presence creates a real connection. To build a relationship, and to share, requires time.
Many people are afraid of showing their real selves. They feel that if someone sees them as they are, they will stop loving them. They wear a mask or try to please everyone they are in a relationship with to get the Love they want. It isn't easy to know someone who doesn't want to open up, talk about real feelings or desires, or that is not really connected with themselves.
When you really Love someone, your Love can provide a safe space and encourage this person to step out of their shell and be more authentically themselves. When you Love, do it unconditionally. Love the real person, flaws, stories, and past experiences included. Give the other the opportunity to express who they are.
Being together for a long time doesn't mean that you know a person. Perhaps it is the opposite. Maybe this person has evolved and has changed without you realizing it. Perhaps now you only know the image you have of your loved one. Maybe because you see each other every day or speak regularly, you think you have a good idea about who they are. Or maybe you never arrived at this deep place of sharing your most intimate side.
Building intimacy is an art, and it happens when presence, interest, and time are devoted to another being. If you want to experience true Love, connect from your heart with the one you have chosen to have in your life, this being that you consider special.
When you spend time with someone, share yourself, all of you, be vulnerable and authentic. Allow yourself to be seen. Rediscover each other every moment you spend together as if it were the first time you saw each other, and share your Love. Look into the eyes of the person you Love and tell yourself, "I want to know all about you, to Love you even more. I want to see the depth of your essence."
"The first duty of Love is to listen"
Love is always available, always ready for you. You are loved, exactly as you are. Love doesn’t make distinctions and, like the sun, shines for everybody, including you. When you feel unlovable, it is because at that moment you cannot connect with Love. The paradox is that you won’t be able to receive Love from others until you can connect with the Love for yourself.
Love starts within you. Appreciation for who you are, gratitude for all you have received, and self-reflection on your qualities and gifts will help you reopen the door of your heart and Love fully, totally, unconditionally.
Love is the key to resolving any issue or challenge you have. Allow Love to guide your life. When you are afraid, connect with Love and you will feel powerful. When you feel sad, share your Love with others and you will feel an instant shift. When you feel unlovable or rejected, pause, and look for Love within yourself, this is true Love. When you are in pain, send some Love to the part of yourself that is aching and take proper care of it.
Love can never hurt you or disappoint you. Maybe your heart was broken or is aching right now, but that’s not Love’s fault. Love is the healing force that will help it heal it. If a relationship, of any kind, doesn’t work the way you want, don’t get angry, disappointed, or sad, and put more Love into it.
Love is the solution, not the problem. Once you can Love someone in spite of who they are, then you can leave the relationship without any loose ends or unfinished business. Love, and forgiveness, are what cures all, the Love for yourself.
Love will never leave you because it lives within you. Love is energy and, like any other energy, it cannot be destroyed, only transformed. Your loved ones who are not with you anymore still Love you and take care of you. You may not feel it, but ancestors, many other beings, and loved ones who passed away, are there for you. They are still alive in your heart and in all the Love you shared. Love will never abandon you because it is eternal. Believe in Love!
"Love is a state of being. Your Love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it,
and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form"
Nowadays a lot of us around the world may feel insecurity, uncertainty, or frustration with the events we are living, and this is testing our resilience. Reality is different, our world is not the same. This is the moment when you will discover if you can easily adjust to change.
Resilience is accepting your reality and trying to make the best out of it. It is about your capacity to adapt and your resourcefulness. It is about cultivating your capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. I believe you have all of these in yourself, that you are resilient.
Connect with your strength. Walk side to side with fear. You may feel not capable, but I can assure you that you can go through this and much more, and that you will overcome whatever you fear right now. You don’t need to have everything figured out or to be fearless, to find the courage within yourself. You should connect with the inner resources that you have, that are dormant until you really need them. You have gone through other difficult moments and crisis, and here you are. You will survive!
You have an inner coach, a wise advisor inside of yourself. A part of you that is there, ready to lift you up and help you rise. A side that you may not have discovered yet if you haven’t been in serious difficulties before. If you look within, you will discover that inside of you there lives a resilient genius, that shows up to help you when you need it the most, that can offer you perspective, solutions, and connects you with the necessary self-confidence to face adversity. This inner coach is connected to the unlimited resources that the Universe can provide you, if you ask for them and allow yourself to receive.
Resilience is not about being tough, wearing an armor, and acting like a warrior. Don’t be afraid of showing vulnerability. Your strength also resides in your capability to ask for help, to surrender to the circumstances, and to trust that you will be guided, step by step, to the best possible outcome.
You don’t need to be a hero, you just need to know that there is a power within you that will never abandon you, no matter what is happening, and will allow you to persevere and endure in spite of the obstacles. This power that will support you is connected to the higher realms where all the information, guidance, and help you need, is available.
Life is full of challenges, but they are not problems or misfortunes, they offer you the opportunity to evolve, change, and improve yourself by developing new resources. If you remain focused, aware, and calm, you will be able to keep control in any situation, because you will realize that you can only control yourself, not the circumstances around you.
If you want to be more resilient, practice looking at yourself mindfully, observing your thoughts and emotional reactions, and what is happening around you that you might be absorbing. Changing the perspective around a situation, not labeling it, and not fighting with it, changes your reality.
Sometimes what you need is to let go, to release, to take a deep breath and to tell yourself: “It is going to be ok.” Once you are able to feel this in your heart, things start happening, suddenly all looks totally different, and you connect with life again, and feel powerful enough to go through whatever you need to go.
"Like tiny seeds with potent power to push through tough ground and become mighty trees,
we hold innate reserves of unimaginable strength. We are resilient"
We spend so much time fighting reality, talking about it, and criticizing it when we do not like it. There is not only one reality, there are many, as many as people in the world. We see reality as we are, not as it is. We look at the world through our senses, values, philosophy of life, culture, upbringing, education… We judge our life and decide whether it is good or bad.
The truth is that we cannot change the reality that others see, we can only change ourselves and our approach to what we experience and witness. If instead of trying to avoid what is happening we learn how to be with it, how to accept what is happening without losing our balance and alignment, we will gain a lot of wellbeing and joy.
It is difficult to be present and aware when you face a reality that scares you, that you cannot control, that is uncertain. I know. But I am sure you can find the strength within yourself to face it as it is. You are more resilient than you imagine. You can feel and be vulnerable. Never ignore your feelings, because they will offer you the necessary information to be able to do what is best for you.
Investing more energy fighting with life or worrying about it will not solve anything, just the opposite. All the energy you have should be devoted to seeking solutions, not to look at the problems. Go within and you will find clarity. Do nothing and you will create space to receive guidance. Relax and rest and you will have more energy to face anything life sends your way.
Reality is not good or bad, it just is. You cannot run away from it. But you can invest in creating a new reality; one you like, one that is peaceful, loving, and where good things happen. This reality starts with you. You can plant the seeds of the reality you want to live in and see it blossom. You will do it with your daily behavior, with your example, with your good intentions and acts of Love, with your authenticity and your desire to create a better life for everyone, not only for you.
There is always something good to appreciate, even in a life that you don’t like. The world is full of wonders and beautiful things that are not perceived because maybe we pay more attention to the negative things that we experience. Appreciate those things that are important for you, those that you don’t want to lose, and be grateful for them. Focus all your attention on what matters, because this is the way you create a new reality. With the power of your intention and Love.
"Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and
emotion will one day become a reality"
It seems normal to be looking for potential danger and avoiding risks, and it is a survival mechanism that we all have installed in our systems, but it is not all that great if you want to have a joyful life. It is so easy to see what is lacking, to see what you don’t have, or to focus on what is waiting to be solved, that you may forget to focus on what works and on what you have right now.
When your mind is busy looking for solutions to existent (and inexistent) problems, and always focusing on what can go wrong, you energetically live in a world of difficulties and negativity, always having to solve something and unable to relax and enjoy the present moment.
Reality shows us that we can find many problems every day to keep us terribly busy. But how you look at your problems determines your ability to overcome them. Are your problems obstacles, challenges, opportunities to grow, situations that will pass, or something you will be helped with or guided to resolve? Do you feel you have the power to overcome them?
One of the things that will help you to feel more confident and to find the strength you need to overcome any situation in life, is to focus on what is working, in the positive, in what you have in your life. Reflect on all those great things you don’t value or even notice.
Appreciate what you have, not only in the material world, like a safe place to live in, but also the Love and the good things you receive every day. The sunrise, the trees, the breeze in your face, the song of a bird, a nice view or landscape, a good meal, the way your pet shows you Love, the hug or the smile of a loved one… Don’t wait until you lose something to see how important it was. Value and enjoy every bit of life.
In the middle of the chaos, illness, fear, and crisis, realize that you are alive (if you are reading this), and that this is a wonderful thing to celebrate. While there is life there is hope. You may feel down, or maybe you are in a difficult situation, but you won’t solve this by obsessively thinking about it.
The solution can be a shift in your perspective of life and in your openness to the opportunities it can bring you. When you disconnect from the problems, you can find a solution, for instance in the morning after a good night of sleep. When you are relaxed and still, you can receive the information you need. When you let go of stress and stop living in survival mode, you can see things differently and create something new.
Count your blessings, and be grateful for them. See what is working in your life and appreciate it daily. You will bring more of it into your existence. Rely on the Universe, and its immense power to support you. And learn how to use the great power your mind has to configure your reality. Create a world where there is goodness, kindness, generosity, understanding, forgiveness, and Love, starting with Love for yourself. It is your world, a world of your design, you have to live in it, and you can invite others to join you there.
"A positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances
instead of your circumstances having power over you"
You have dreams, desires, things you want to do, to resolve, or to achieve. You want to fulfill all of it, but sometimes when you think about taking action, it may feel like hiking to the top of a mountain. Thoughts such as ‘I am not capable’, ‘I don’t know how to do it’, or ‘it will take a long time or too much effort’, take you further and further away from your goals. But when you take action, things become easier and happen faster than you imagine, and you realize that the process was more challenging in your imagination than in reality.
Why then you do not do what you want to do or procrastinate? One of the reasons for not achieving your goals is the lack of clarity. You may think that you need to figure out the whole thing by yourself before even starting to take a baby step, but the most important thing is to start moving. Clarity may arrive while you move towards your objective when you have taken certain steps.
It is important to know how to deal with uncertainty without feeling stuck. It is ok not to know at the moment how things will unfold, or what the steps are, but this should not be a reason to keep yourself in the same place and not to move forward. The unknown may reserve for you great things and unexpected gifts that you will only receive when you start your journey.
It is difficult to make things happen if you don’t put all your attention and intention on them. Maybe you experience an inner conflict; you want to do something and you do not want to do it at the same time. There is a part of you that wants to and another part that holds you back, finding reasons why you should give up, even before you start. This is the perfect soil for self-doubt. It creates suffering to have ideas and not to put them into practice. Fear does this to you. It paralyzes you and creates difficulties even before you start, but you know what? You are more powerful than your fear!
You need to be kind with yourself and do some inner research about the reasons why you stop yourself from doing something you want to do which is important for you. You may feel unprepared, that it is too risky, or that it is not the right moment to take action. Whatever the thoughts are that hold you back, you better identify and challenge each one of them. At least you will resolve the conflict within yourself, and figure out if you are creating a list of good excuses for not taking action, or what you need to resolve in order to start moving ahead.
Lack of time or resources are the most used reasons for not taking any action. Sometimes they are real, and there is nothing you can do except wait until the right time arrives. But in so many cases, what you need is what I have mentioned above. Take some action, find out information, and start putting all your energy into it. Let go of the self-doubt and lack of clarity, and connect with your inner confidence. If the desire is within you, if the idea came through you, there must be a reason.
Find out how you can transform this idea, project, or change in your life into a reality. Think about how you can do it, and let go of what stops you. Discover your strengths and capabilities to do it. Allow yourself to be helped. Be open and ready because help can come in unexpected ways. Trust that you are not alone and that you are always guided.
The Love for yourself, for your life, and for what you want to do, will allow you to transform challenges into learning experiences that will help you to continue your journey. The further you go, the more confident you will feel about yourself and what you want. Take the first step, whatever it is, and ask for guidance. Take one more, and see how you feel. Before you realize it, you will be at the top of the mountain, and it does not matter what you have achieved, what is important is that you did it.
"The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something"
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Keep your heart open. Pay attention to be sure you are not withholding your Love. Express it freely and totally. No matter what is happening in the world, you can always be loving. Love is now more necessary than ever. Love brings more Love. Be ready to receive it.
There are so many ways to demonstrate Love to everyone through simple acts of Love. Wish a good day, smile frequently, and pay special attention to being kind to all the people you meet today, online or in person. Find opportunities to express your Love.
Awake the Love within you and allow it to flow like a river. Appreciate every loving moment you witness. It doesn’t matter if you give or receive the Love, or if you recognize it in a song or a movie. Look for it. Become aware of its existence and celebrate it. Don’t take it for granted.
Devote energy to connect with Love during your day. Love consciously, with intention, being present, and feeling connected with your heart. Love is so precious, pay enough attention to it. Cultivate it in your life passionately.
You may have closed your heart to protect yourself, maybe you have been hurt in the past, or you are afraid to reopen old wounds. Don’t avoid the suffering or live in the world of thought, disconnected from your feelings. Name your feelings and accept them. Once you have recognized how you feel, allow it to be, don’t reject it, and nurture yourself.
An open heart is the one that can release all the pain and become free to Love. Let go of anything that is not allowing you to give or receive Love. Release the suffering, the pain, the guilt, the sadness... We accumulate so much at an emotional level and we need to release. Show yourself tenderness. Compassion for your own suffering can only come from a warm heart, one with its doors open.
Anything can open your heart. Yesterday I saw a movie called Hachi. It is a beautiful true story about a dog who had a special bond with his master who found him. In the middle of the movie I decided to stop watching it and I went to bed fearing that something would happen to the dog. I didn’t want to suffer. But I was wrong, something happened to its owner. When he died, the dog waited for him at the station, where he greeted him daily, every day, for the next 10 years. Today I saw the end and I cried a lot.
My heart was really touched and it is more open than before. You cannot feel great joy if you are not able to feel the deepest pain. Life is full of experiences, and we must welcome all of them. This is the moment to be kind, to be loving towards yourself. If you cannot connect with the Love within yourself, connect with the Love for your children, pet, friend, partner, or any spiritual being. Love is Love, and it is always there for you.
“When our heart is open, everything we do becomes Love”
Calmness and peace of mind are normal states of being, and you may have forgotten how well you feel when you are at peace, tranquil, and your body is relaxed. Relaxation and peace of mind are inner states. You may tell yourself that you are stressed by the circumstances, the environment, the situation, and that there is nothing you can do about it. But your inner state doesn’t depend on the external circumstances, but on how you react to them.
You cannot change the current situation. It is hard, and I am sure you don’t want to experience it. Can you accept what is happening without entering a spiral of fear and stress? Most of our suffering is created by our fight with reality. Make this easier for you. At the present moment, you are safe, all is well. Don’t transport yourself to an unknown future. Live here and now. Be in this moment. Look for what makes you feel good and do more of it. Center your attention on what still works (not on what does not).
Focus on yourself right now. Scan your body and see how you feel. Look at your mind and see what the predominant thoughts you have are. Are you tense or relaxed? Is your body at ease or contracted? Is your mind at peace or racing? Lots of things can be happening inside you, all at the same time. What you think and feel affects you, all of you. Stress, worry, and fear create a challenge for the body and lower its ability to heal itself.
Observe yourself and ask, what do I need now? What can I do to feel better? Maybe you can stop and take some deep breaths, or close your eyes and relax every part of your body for some minutes, connect with people you Love and cheer them up or allow them to uplift you, journal everything you are experiencing to let it go, listen to your favorite music and dance, devote some time to learning something new, read a good novel and move into the world of imagination… Be creative!
You can change your thoughts and feelings, you can decide to look at a situation differently. Nobody except you is in charge. Yes, there is fear, panic, and scary news, and you can feel all of it in the environment. If you lose your peace of mind you can come back to it. You can release and not accumulate all the emotions you experience and see in others around you. Don’t overwhelm yourself with information and conversations filled with negativity.
Humanity is facing a very difficult situation and trying to control something that is new. But we have done it before, we have overcome illnesses, wars, destruction, hunger, other pandemics… and many other disasters. You will go through this, but try to remain calm and positive as you do. Try to be there for others. Bring peacefulness and a bit of happiness to the world in these difficult times. Be a pillar of light in the dark moments. You can do it!
There is a place inside yourself where there is peace, stillness, and tranquility. It is a place where you can let go of all the thoughts and feelings that don’t allow you to be at peace. It is a place where you can rest, and allow your body to relax. It is an inner home, a place where you feel still and your mind is calm.
You have the key to this space where the outside world disappears, and you can experience true peace. You can arrive there by cultivating mindfulness, relaxing your body, being in silence, taking a pause and being with yourself, breathing slowly and deeply, doing a guided meditation, going to your heart and connecting with the energy of Love that resides there… going within. Invest in yourself and your health, and remain calm.
"When you have peace in yourself and accept, then you are calm enough to do something,
but if you are carried by despair, there is no hope"
Thich Nhat Hanh
Your inner world is a space inside of yourself that you can call home. It is a quiet, still, and wonderful place, where you can recharge batteries, connect with yourself, and remember who you really are. I love a quote by Gunilla Norris that illustrates this: “Within each of us, there is a silence as vast as the Universe. And when we experience that silence, we remember who we are.” You have a body and a mind, but you are more than a human being because the divine resides within you.
We live most of our lives focused on the exterior world. We get our value, our Love, and our resources, from outside sources. We invest lots of energy in finding 'our place in the world.' We depend upon others to feel good, accomplished, and valuable because it seems that our sources are others’ opinions or validation, social standards, religious or cultural beliefs, social media… I invite you to find, within yourself, the whole truth of who you really are and what the life you want to live is. Make regular visits to your inner residence.
Invest in knowing yourself. Spend time in your own company, in calmness, and doing nothing. Breathe and just be. Pause and relax. Ask yourself questions and you will receive answers. Find ways to learn about yourself, such as your astrological birth chart, the Akashic Records, the messages of your dreams, meditation, or others. Step into the unknown parts of yourself. Discover the beautiful you, the real you, who you are. Reveal your magnificence. Inner work will allow you to inhabit your inner world. The only one that is real and where Love resides.
Do inner research to find who you are. Ask yourself what your values are core beliefs are, and if you are living according to them. Maybe you have never asked yourself these kinds of questions before, but perhaps now is the right moment. Accept what you discover without judging yourself. Awareness is the first necessary step. Once you decide what your new life is going to be, it will be the moment to take action and live differently and happily.
It may seem easier to avoid any kind of introspection and live a life where all is set up and clear, where you know what you have to do, how you have to behave, and what is going to happen if you follow the rules of the system. If you just want to fit in, that’s ok. But to live authentically will require from you to step out of the known world, the one you were raised in, or the culture you belong to, and to ask yourself if there is anything that you have learned which is not working for you anymore.
What I am describing is not to change, it is more to come back home. The wisdom of who you are resides within you. You can access your essence, the source of Love, whenever you want. It will only require to go for it, totally and unconditionally, without trying to understand how with your reasoning mind. Why don’t you set up a time to spend with yourself, to go home? It would be a good way to begin.
Live in your heart. Connect with the source of Love within yourself and you will feel one with the world around you. The suffering we all experience is based on disconnection and lack of Love for ourselves and our lives. You will experience unconditional Love when you live in your heart. Open your heart and Love!
"Your heart is where your inner light resides. It is part of every sacred journey to reconnect with
your inner light, step into your divinity, spread the light of love before you, return to
the essence of love, and inspire others to do the same"
Think of all the times you judge yourself, criticize yourself and blame yourself for all that is not working in your life, that you did wrong or that you didn’t do. Many times… it seems that we believe that the way we improve ourselves is by beating ourselves up. Going against ourselves without compassion. Acting like a controlling parent who pays more attention to the mistakes than to the successes.
We all have flaws, weaknesses and lacks. We’ve all made mistakes, errors, and nobody is not perfect. You need to assume that it is not necessary for you to do everything wonderfully and perfectly. Give yourself permission to be human. Take a deep breath and relax, don’t be tense all the time trying to avoid making a mistake. Focus more on what you have done well, value your strengths, pay attention to your achievements, even the small ones, and see your uniqueness.
The only thing you can do is to offer your best to the world, and when you don’t arrive to your standards of perfection, remember that you are human, that you will have more opportunities, that you will do it better next time. See every experience in life and any occasion, as opportunities to learn. Don’t consider anything as a failure or mistake.
You can forgive anything. You can forgive those who wrong you, betray you, disrespect you, or even abuse you. Once you understand that forgiving them doesn’t deny that the facts happened, and that you don’t condone the actions, that is only about letting events remain in the past, totally. Once you have forgiven, whatever happened belongs to the past and you live now in the present, where the events do not affect you at all.
You can overcome, by decision, what happened to you. You can free yourself of the suffering of remembering the events and reviving the emotions associated with them. It is a release to do that. You feel lighter and stronger, when you are not a victim of a past experience anymore. But let me ask you, can you forgive yourself? You, the one that in your mind is causing all the misery in your life, the guilty one, the person that made a so called `big mistake´ or failed.
The answer is: yes, you can, if you want to. You will do it because you Love yourself and you treat yourself with Love. You forgive yourself because you owe yourself some compassion and kindness, because you have a mindset where the present and the future you build every moment are more important than whatever experience you faced in the past, because you want to move on, because you are able to accept yourself as you are, with weaknesses and strengths, all of you. You forgive yourself because you want to.
The power of forgiveness is immense. You can transform your life if you just make a list of experiences you feel ready to forgive, to let go, to release and you do it. You don’t need anything else except your commitment to let it go from your system once and for all. Love will do the work. Unconditional Love for yourself is what changes your life and all it includes. Don’t carry unnecessary weight around. Release the past hurts, wounds, grudges, anger, resentment, and set yourself free. Then, open your heart and Love fully again.
"Forgive yourself. The supreme act of forgiveness is when you can
forgive yourself for all the wounds you’ve created in your own life.
Forgiveness is an act of self-love. When you forgive yourself,
self-acceptance begins and self-love grows"
Miguel Ángel Ruiz Macías
New, fresh, start, beginning! Each moment of every day offers you an opportunity to start a new life. A lot of people tend to think that January 1st, the beginning of the month, or next Monday, are perfect dates to take action and change their life, set up new goals, or decide to stop doing something they believe is not good for them. I suggest you don’t wait anymore. Whatever you want to do or change, now is the moment.
Don’t follow old strategies in order to transform your life. Find new ways and motivation inside yourself, improve your life because you deserve it. Do it for you! In order to change you invest energy on what you have decided you should do, or stop doing, from now on. Maybe it’s dealing with your weight, health issues, finances... all of these are just different objectives, but what you will experience while you try to live in a different way will be similar.
You want to do it, you start focusing on the new goal, inner motivation pushes you for the first days or weeks, and then, inadvertently, you lose the energy you started the process with. Life happens and you cannot find the time, you get caught up in something, you have more work than usual, you experience challenges at home... and your non-achieved goal, whatever it was, realistic or not, big or small, achievable or a pipe-dream, goes to the list of things that you tried but didn’t happen.
Now you have a new problem: you feel that you have failed yourself. You haven’t solved what you wanted or you haven’t achieved your goal, your life is still the same, nothing has changed. In this moment of realization, lots of feelings can appear, like frustration, anger, sadness… but you need to be kind and compassionate with yourself and apply a little bit of self-forgiveness.
You did what you could. You have your list of good reasons why you couldn’t do it: a lack of energy, it wasn’t the right moment to initiate the change… it doesn’t matter what happened. Let it go! You tried, and it is the important. Doing your best is enough but, if you decide to focus on the same goal again, you should find a new way to achieve it. Think differently, open yourself to new ideas or methods.
Ask yourself practical questions. Can you find help from experts in the field, maybe through books, videos, podcasts, classes, or online learning? Can you plan differently? Should you hire a coach who will take you by the hand and accompany you throughout your process? Do you need someone who will keep you accountable? Can you learn how to be more persistent and not give up? How can you avoid getting distracted from your goal? Where can you find new tools to change more easily?
What you really need is a radical shift in perspective. Love yourself enough to choose a way of living that includes what is important for you. You can live worried about what is not working or lacking in your life, in a constant state of tension and stress, or... not. Learn how to dedicate yourself to what you desire. Take action today!
Real change comes from within, don't try to change only the external circumstances of your life. Start spending time in your own company, learn to be consciously present, know yourself better. Find a space within you where you can relax, where the outer world doesn’t affect you and you can be still, at peace, and charge batteries.
Do some inner work. Spend time with yourself and connect with who you are in essence, and immediately you will reconnect with the entire Universe, with whom you are one. Inspiration, new ideas, and the necessary energy to create a new life will arrive to you while you are in this state of being.
Use mindfulness, journaling, meditation, walking in nature, looking at the stars, or whatever works for you. What matters is not the technique or tool you use, but the understanding that beyond the one who thinks, acts, judges and worries, there is a much more powerful being that can flow with life.
Living in a state of flow is the secret of happiness. You cannot change reality, but you can flow with it. You can look at it differently, you can have a different understanding, or experience it in another way. This will transform you and your life radically. This is a new way of living.
"No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change"
Barbara De Angelis
Can you accept yourself as you are? Be totally honest with yourself when you answer the question. Maybe you are not sure you can do it, or you don't know how. Unconditional acceptance is something you must practice every day because being you, authentically you, is the most important thing you can do to live happily.
You can simulate that you have a good relationship with yourself, that you accept your flaws, mistakes, that you forgive yourself for what you believe you did wrongly. But your soul will know if you, deep inside yourself, reject yourself, cannot accept yourself as you are and criticize yourself constantly.
Having a good relationship with yourself and becoming your best friend starts with the absolute need to accept yourself as you are, and also the life you are living. You cannot say that you Love yourself if you criticize everything that happens to you, don’t appreciate your life, relationships, environment, life circumstances…
In time you will see that the self-acceptance will allow you to transform this feeling into appreciation, and then into gratefulness, and together all of these will convert your life into something greater and happier. This way you will be able to release the pressure you put on yourself to improve yourself and your life, and you will be able to become content with yourself as you are.
You may have to do an effort to accept who you are unconditionally, to say aloud “this is me”, to present yourself as you are without any protection, without adapting yourself to others or the situation, without the fear of being rejected or criticized for your ideas, way of living or your acts; this may require courage and make you feel vulnerable. Let me tell you that to be you is simpler than you imagine, because when you accept yourself the world accepts you as well.
The inner conflict between who you are and the image you want to show in public, in your job, in front of your in-laws or friends, or to get a partner, takes a lot of energy from you. It puts you in a constant state of alert to protect yourself from any mistake you can make that allows others to see the real you, the one you unconsciously want to protect from the judgment of others. Your intimate relationship with yourself should be easy, smooth, allowing you to feel relaxed and at ease in any circumstance.
If you feel that there are things about yourself and your past that you cannot forgive, this is the perfect moment to let them go, to set yourself free from a thought, experience, or situation that holds you back and makes you suffer.
To accept yourself this way you will have to learn self-forgiveness, kindness and compassion towards yourself. Just give yourself the same Love you share with others, and you will create a new relationship with yourself, one where you can discover who you are, know yourself more deeply, accept yourself and fall in Love with yourself, with the real You.
"Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself"
It is important to have your own ideas. From time to time take a look at your way of thinking about life and see if there is anything you need to adjust, change, or let go of. It is incredibly useful to review one's belief system. You'd be surprised about how many ideas you hold that are not yours, maybe never were in the first place, or have been planted by others, media, or the culture you live in.
Nothing is true or false, good or bad, it depends on the interpretation you give to the fact or experience. Some people may think that the best possible day is a sunny day, and that's it. This is what I think, I don't like rainy days. But others, for example, farmers, or people who live in dry areas and haven't seen rain for a while, may think that the best possible thing is a rainy day. It all depends.
Religions, political parties, countries, parents and family members, schools, institutions… want to tell you that they know what is best, what the truth is, what you should think and how to act in consequence. But I invite you to learn to think for yourself. It is never late to do it, no matter how old you are.
Do your own research, don't accept any truth or description of facts. Go through life with the mind of a detective and a journalist simultaneously, and find your own explanation for the world, and how life should be lived.
Just because something has been done for decades or millennia does not mean it cannot be changed. The fact that millions of people think one way doesn't mean that many other millions cannot think in a different way. Your freedom of speech, of thought, of behavior, can only exist if you find out what your own opinion is, by yourself.
Still nowadays, if a product has in its pack “as seen on TV” it sells more. We hold opinions about what to appear on TV means, what to be famous means, what to have power means, what to have money means… What are your opinions, beliefs, thoughts, and ideas about life?
Since you were a child, you have been indoctrinated by many authority figures, you have learned from their lives and their experiences. Maybe it is time to release some limiting beliefs, fears, undeserving ideas, and those ways of thinking about yourself and your life that are holding you back. You can be free, free of a way of thinking that hurts you and doesn't support you.
I would like you to allow yourself to think that life can be wonderful and that you are unique. I wish you to see your own magnificence. I desire that you understand that your life has a purpose, and it is to be happier every day. I would like you to look at what you can do for yourself, that you lead your life instead of being a follower of others’ ideas. You matter, you can do it, and you will if you think you can. Let go of some unnecessary baggage and free your mind!
"The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud"
You may believe you were born to do important things with your life. It is true. You have unlimited possibilities and it is never too late to create, learn, or do new things. But the most important reason why you were born was to live your life to the fullest, the only thing that only you can do. You are alive to become yourself, to be just you.
I am writing this blog on a plane that is taking me from Miami to New York, and I discovered myself making my to-do list of pending work and errands. Now all is written in the notes of my phone, technology has simplified my life. I can remember what I must do, I have a good memory and a real agenda on paper, but lists help me focus and prioritize. What I realized is that the most important things are not in my to-do lists.
Have you ever created a to-be list? If not, do it for fun. It is the most amazing contribution to your life that you can give yourself. After creating your to-be list don’t get sad or frustrated if you realize that you have forgotten your dreams, that you have self-sacrificed too much, that you haven’t loved enough, or that you are living a life that is not true to your values. These things happen to all of us human beings.
What do you want to be? Who do you want to become? Asking yourself these questions will help you create a true to-be list. I will share the two most important items on my to-be list to give you an example.
I want to be loving towards myself and others.
I want to be kind with everyone and everything.
I want to become more loving and kinder. I am, I should say, achieving it through my daily decisions, actions, and attitude towards myself and others.
It shouldn’t require more than five minutes to create a to-be list. Write 2 to 5 statements you want to live by. Don’t make it too long. Look at your list through the day. You can read the list slowly to feel and embody every aspect of it, or to remind yourself of your commitment.
Include in your list only the items you want to focus on. If it was a to-do list you would list those urgent matters or errands you must do first, not your goals for three or six months, or one year ahead. What you include in your to-be list should be the aspects you as a being would like to be living by right now. Do you want to be kind, empowering, trusting...? What do you really want?
Don’t avoid writing certain items in your to-be list because you have no idea how you will accomplish them. When your to-do list includes finding a dress or a suit for a wedding and you don't have any idea where to buy them, or what kind of dress or suit you need, you still list this errand because the wedding is in 10 days. Then you start a process of research, and I can promise you that you will be helped if you ask for help, and voilà, the dress or suit finds you.
The same will happen with your to-be list. A book, a coach, a teleseminar, an email, a workshop, a conversation, in meditation, an aha moment going back home... you will receive guidance that will help you be who you want to be. Stay focused, use your list wisely. Become yourself now.
"The essential lesson I have learned in life is to just be yourself. Treasure the magnificent being that you are and recognize first and foremost you are not here as a human being only.
You are a spiritual being having a human experience"
Life can be hard at times, unwanted events may happen to you, you may experience difficulties in your relationships and with loved ones, health or financial challenges may appear unexpectedly. These events are what we call life.
But they will be memories one day. Memories of how many difficult situations you overcame, of how powerful and resourceful you were, of how successful in going through challenging times you were, of how good things can be found in so-called bad things.
You have lived through a lot of difficult moments, I know. I have, too. You have scars. They have healed, but you have not forgotten the events, the feelings, the facts, the battles you fought. But you should.
Memories are just that, recollections of the moments, of things that don’t belong to your present, to the moment of now, where you have an opportunity to build new and better memories. What if you could look at your past in a different way?
I’ve had so many conversations with clients and people I met about their past. I’ve heard sad stories, difficult childhood moments, details of physical and emotional abuse, bad relationships, terrible divorces, trauma… and so much more. But what I have told everyone who has openened their heart to me is that it doesn't matter what you went through. You cannot change it, and it is for sure part of your story, of who you are, but it shouldn’t determine how you live today, because you are much more than your memories and experiences.
If you must hold onto a memory, it would be better to choose a happy moment, an uplifting one, a moment of achievement, of gratitude and appreciation, of shared Love, of laughter. Everything is stored in your mind, like a giant hard drive. Your mind is not very different from a computer, but it has something very powerful and important that your computer’s software does not include: Imagination!
You can build your life with the power to create from your imagination. There is no need to live in the past if you can live a reality that you can create. Believe me, it is possible. The only problem is that maybe you don’t know how to use it in your favor, yet.
Imagination needs your collaboration, your clarity, your focus, your intention, your elevated emotions, your fun, your engagement, your enjoyment. You need to Love the process of creation of your life and to stop living by the old programming that you (or someone else) installed in your mind’s computer.
What if the life you want exists in a pattern of possibilities called future? What if the future is not as far away as you imagine? What if your imagination is a much more powerful tool for creation than the memories of your past that keep you stuck? What if with a bit of guidance you, and only you, can create the memories of the future you want to live? Give it a try.
I know what you are thinking right now. I can even see your face while you read these lines. Yes, sure, Judith, it sounds like a good idea, but how do I do it? To start, write a list of all the good reasons you give to yourself to continue living the same way, your excuses for not changing what you don’t want in your life, or whatever doesn’t work, and your fears of failure, or of not being good enough. Take the list and make a conscious decision, a commitment with yourself, to overcome the written items, one by one. Do it right now!
I know what you are feeling and thinking because I went through it. Your mind can create powerful statements such as: it is not for me (this means “I don’t deserve it”), it is too late, (“I am too old to change”), this will change (“time solves everything”), I will do it (“tomorrow always seems a better day to start”), this is the life I have (“I don’t have the need to change”), this is what I can do (“I don’t have power”), I don’t have a choice and I have to keep going (“I am very responsible and I need to sacrifice myself and my life”), I don’t know what I want (“I prefer not to think about these things”)…
When you make your own list, you will see that all the sentences you say to yourself can be grouped in some categories: fear of the unknown, lack of Love for yourself, or procrastination and self-sabotage. Just answer yourself one question: until when are you going to live in the world of past memories and experiences? Maybe is time for a new present and future, don’t you think? Take action.
"To design the future effectively, you must first let go of your past"
Charles J. Givens
We have had lots of life experiences that we have not wanted to accept. Loses, so called `mistakes’, break ups, unforgivable events, abuse, arguments, disagreements, pain, and so much more. But they happened, they were real, and we cannot change them, but we can, at least, accept them. Acceptance will allow you to look to the future with more freedom. Stop looking only through the rear mirror, and look at the wonderful view in front of you, while you drive through the journey of your life.
There are people that think that to accept means to be weak, or that they cannot forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it. But in order to live your life in the present, this life that is real and happening for you at this exact moment, you must be here and now. You cannot be present if you only live in the past, in past experiences, in past feelings, in past grudges, in past resentment.
To let go, to release, or to forgive, are learnable skills. They are necessary for your survival. If you carry all these weight from the past, you will move slowly, with difficulties, and your life-journey will be much more unpleasant than if you walk through life weightless and free to enjoy every moment of it.
You need to accept the life you have in order to be able to create the life you want. What this means is that you can only create new circumstances, change, thrive, and become who you want to be, when you accept what is happening in your life now.
Doing it doesn’t have to generate guilt. You don’t have to blame yourself, to feel guilty. You don’t need to have a poor opinion of your choices, or to be a victim of the circumstances, or of your past. You only need to accept who you are, in a loving and compassionate way, offering yourself the understanding and kindness you would show a loved one.
Start planting the seeds of your new life and wonderful future. Nothing stops you from creating a life that contains what you want and deserve. Only you can sabotage your efforts, life is on your side. If you want something, you must become what you want. No Love can enter a closed heart. No abundance can arrive to those who feel they don’t deserve it. No health can be restored if we don’t pay attention to the needs of our body. Change starts with awareness and understanding and it happens with acceptance.
Live with acceptance and not for acceptance. We are subject to the opinions and expectations of those around us. We live our lives fulfilling roles. We want to be the best employees, managers, parents, children, partners, friends, or neighbors. We sometimes achieve our goal at a cost. We have internal expectations of what all of those roles imply, and in order to be that person that we want to be, to fulfill that role perfectly, to demonstrate our Love to others and to be accepted by them, we stop loving ourselves in the process.
What we need to have a happier life is self-acceptance, not the acceptance of others. They are not walking through life wearing our shoes. No matter how much they know us, they cannot live our lives for us. You can create a new life: a life of pleasure, of abundance, of happiness and fun. We live our life overworked, in busyness, and without time to reflect, take care of ourselves, or make the best decisions. Nowadays all happens fast, and we may feel stressed and tired. Just pause, appreciate your life, and take some time to accept.
"When you invoke the agent of change called acceptance, you must accept all that you are,
all that you've been, and all that you will be in the future"
When you relate to others, be sure that you build a relationship that is authentic, no matter if it is with your life-partner, a colleague, a friend, or your children. See the other person as they are, and accept them completely, all of them. Don’t try to change, fix, or tell the other person how they must be to meet your standards.
To have a relationship means to support the other person, to empower them, to be there for them, but also to respect the other person and their decisions, even when you don’t like them. How difficult is to see that someone you Love deeply is stuck, confused, unhappy, or is not making the best decision (in your opinion). It can be hard to support them until they find a way out, a solution, or a new and better path in life. We frequently give unasked advice to others, with our best intentions, and it might not help the other person to move forward or to feel better.
In order to relate authentically with others, you should know who you are. You see the world through your own eyes, and you decode what happens to you influenced by past experiences, your belief system, your childhood, education, and the environment you live in. When you look at someone else, try to be neutral. You may inadvertently judge others, or project into them what you have not solved in your life, haven’t overcome or understood yet, or everything you are not conscious of, because it is suppressed or repressed. We blame others for making us feel a certain way, when they are giving us an opportunity to resolve underlying issues and unconscious patterns, and to heal past wounds that still affect us in the present.
We create relationships that are based on the ideas that we have about what our connection with a person should look like. Maybe we don’t know the real ‘person,’ not because they don’t allow us to do so, but because we don’t see who they really are. Sometimes, we idealize someone and, after the honeymoon period, once we see how the other person really is, we reject them. The other person has not changed, they were always the same. What has changed is only our opinion, and we realize that we were relating to this person through the filter of our own ideas about how the relationship should be.
If you want to really know someone, take your time to be with this person and build the connection; invest in it. Listen to what they say, and look at the way they act. Their behavior may speak louder than their words. When you are together, be one hundred percent present and give this person all your attention. You will perceive a lot more than mere words in a conversation. When you listen, don’t listen to answer, just listen deeply and actively. Make an effort to respond, not to react to what is said. Choose your words carefully and think if what you are going to say just fills the silence, or if it is really meaningful, uplifting, and necessary.
We learn a lot in our relationships. We become better beings in relation to others. We change the lives of those whom we Love. We are transformed by the Love we give and receive. Every relationship should bring out the best of each person (hopefully!), and if this is not the case, it might be teaching you something.
If a relationship you are in is not working, don't only blame the other person, always look at yourself too, and figure out what can you do on your end to improve it, even if it is just to be more loving. Look at what you bring to every one of your relationships, and try to be at your best in every encounter or conversation. Don’t ask for Love, shared it, give it freely and it will return to you multiplied.
"But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between
you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a
moving sea between the shores of your souls"
Let go of the need to control every aspect of your life. Allow your life to unfold. Release your expectations, and focus on the larger vision of your existence. Let go of your life’s plan and consider that maybe the Universe can create a plan that is better than yours.
You don’t need to be perfect, and you cannot expect life and others to be. But you can rely on the idea that things are unfolding perfectly in your life. No matter what it looks like, they truly are. Let go of your tendency to worry excessively. It is not helping you to achieve your goals. It is doing just the opposite. It is not allowing you to enjoy the journey, to savor the waiting.
Don’t worry about making mistakes. Don’t suffer in anticipation of errors. Follow your inner wisdom and allow yourself to be guided by the Universe. Tune into your intuition. Don’t judge the result of your actions as right or wrong, good or bad, just observe in the present moment. Don’t force anything. Life becomes easy when you are in alignment with life’s natural timing.
Live your life without the need of having everything in perfect order and exactly the way it is designed in your plan. Leave some room for the unexpected, don’t be rigid. Don’t analyze everything, don’t be anxious. It is good to have a plan to arrive where you want to go, but you don’t need to know exactly how to arrive there. Focus instead on getting clarity about what you want to happen in your life, the big picture.
Don’t think about what can go wrong, don’t worry about what might happen in the future. Instead, expect the best to come into your life. Use all your energy to visualize the positive results of your actions. Imagine and feel that what you want to achieve has already happened. Live now as you want to live your life in the future. Engage all your energy in this process.
Have a positive attitude. Love your life and be grateful for what you have. Rely on yourself and in the Universe. Feel confident and safe. Life has many blessings for you. The future is yours, an unfolding of the positive and magnificent present. You must believe it!
"As someone who has faced as much disappointment as most people, I've come to trust not
that events will always unfold exactly as I want, but that I will be fine either way"
So many things happen during the day that affect you. Some days, there are so many that you don’t even have the time to process them. We accumulate emotions that have not been lived. We go from one thing to the next, and we may think what we don’t have the time, or space, to feel an emotion the moment that it shows up.
We suppress our emotions because we believe that we cannot afford to pay attention to them; we have to be ok, all the time. We ignore our feelings and they keep accumulating, like letters in the mail. The problem is that these ignored feelings affect us, physically and emotionally, whether we want them to or not.
In other cases, we act as if nothing had happened because we are afraid that if we react or say something, we will create a bigger problem or an argument, and we decide to forget it, trying to make the emotion disappear, unsuccessfully. Or we feel that we don’t have the right to respond to an emotion, and we just silence ourselves, or stop expressing our thoughts and feelings, even to the point of losing our voice, or becoming disconnected from ourselves.
Any of the above sound familiar? How many times have you swept your feelings under the rug and have moved on with your life? These unheard and unfelt emotions create emotional toxins. And just like you take a shower to clean your body every day, you should find a way to do the same with all the emotional stuff accumulated. Journal about what you experience and what you feel, reflect on it while you walk, meditate, or just release what happened, and forgive yourself or others, if necessary.
Find a way to let go of emotions that works for you, but be with them first. Emotions don’t want to be forgotten, they want to be heard. By looking at them you will learn more about yourself, what triggers you, and how you react when faced with certain events. This awareness will create a space where you will be able to see the emotion coming to you and, deliberately, decide how to respond to the experience, even when you are feeling deeply. Like when you are angry, and you know it, but you decide not to take what happened personally, let the anger go, and you respond with kindness. It is your choice.
Remember that the emotions are yours, you create them, and you can let them go. Others can’t create your emotions, they just trigger them. Don’t blame others for what you feel. Instead, observe what happens within yourself during your day, recognize what you feel and honor it. There aren’t good or bad emotions, they are just energy in motion in your system. Find the courage to feel what you feel, and your life will be broader and deeper. Hear the message every emotion wants to deliver to you and be true to yourself.
"Your emotions make you human. Even the unpleasant ones have a purpose.
Don't lock them away. If you ignore them, they just get louder and angrier"
We tend to take our life for granted without appreciating its gifts. There are so many things that you can appreciate every day of your life. Have you realized how many days pass by in which you don't feel this appreciation? Pause and look around while you go through your day. There is beauty all around you, little things that can make your heart sing. You can experience moments of laughter, awe, Love, and joy. Don’t miss them.
To appreciate something, it is necessary to become aware of its existence. It is necessary to pay attention. To do it, you have to stop living only in your mind or on autopilot. Look around, connect with what life brings to you, be present and do one thing at a time. Once the sense of appreciation exists in your life, you can be grateful for it, but not before. Being grateful connects you to Love, Love for yourself, your life, and all that exists.
Appreciation starts with yourself, with the idea of unconditionally accepting who you are and being proud of yourself, of knowing your gifts, your strengths, your worth, and what you bring to the world. To Love yourself means to appreciate yourself totally and completely. Don’t wait until you receive validation and Love from someone else. The way to get them is to value and to Love yourself.
Appreciate what you have, don’t overlook it. There are so many things to be grateful for. It is so easy to focus on what is lacking in your life, but this will only bring you more lack. We tend to judge our life because it doesn’t look like the way it should. We are so hard on ourselves because we believe that we are not good enough. We can receive more abundance now, and being grateful for what we already have is the first step to making it happen.
Do you need ideas about what you can be grateful for? Be grateful for having a body that works and two legs that take you wherever you want to go, for your two eyes that allow you to see a wonderful sunset. Be grateful for the Love of your family and friends, for a kiss, a smile, a hug, for the Love you receive daily. Be grateful for the breeze in your face, for the sun that bathes you, for the flower that blooms for you. Be grateful because you are alive and you have the energy to do whatever you want. Enjoy every moment of your wonderful life. Don’t wait until you lose something to appreciate it.
Observe the conversation you have with yourself. Don’t get caught in thoughts that create self-doubt, judgment, and criticism. Stop thinking about the different issues you may have, pointing out what is not working, or it is not the way you want. Love what is as much as you can, even if you don’t like it, or it is not what you may have chosen. Your appreciation and gratitude open you up to abundance, to receiving, to being in the flow of life, of giving and receiving, and they will transform you and every aspect of your life.
"Give yourself a gift of five minutes of contemplation in awe of everything you see around you.
Go outside and turn your attention to the many miracles around you. This five-minute-a-day
regimen of appreciation and gratitude will help you to focus your life in awe"
Dr. Wayne Dyer
Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want.