Love is always available, always ready for you. You are loved, exactly as you are. Love doesn’t make distinctions and, like the sun, shines for everybody, including you. When you feel unlovable, it is because at that moment you cannot connect with Love. The paradox is that you won’t be able to receive Love from others until you can connect with the Love for yourself.
Love starts within you. Appreciation for who you are, gratitude for all you have received, and self-reflection on your qualities and gifts will help you reopen the door of your heart and Love fully, totally, unconditionally.
Love is the key to resolving any issue or challenge you have. Allow Love to guide your life. When you are afraid, connect with Love and you will feel powerful. When you feel sad, share your Love with others and you will feel an instant shift. When you feel unlovable or rejected, pause, and look for Love within yourself, this is true Love. When you are in pain, send some Love to the part of yourself that is aching and take proper care of it.
Love can never hurt you or disappoint you. Maybe your heart was broken or is aching right now, but that’s not Love’s fault. Love is the healing force that will help it heal it. If a relationship, of any kind, doesn’t work the way you want, don’t get angry, disappointed, or sad, and put more Love into it.
Love is the solution, not the problem. Once you can Love someone in spite of who they are, then you can leave the relationship without any loose ends or unfinished business. Love, and forgiveness, are what cures all, the Love for yourself.
Love will never leave you because it lives within you. Love is energy and, like any other energy, it cannot be destroyed, only transformed. Your loved ones who are not with you anymore still Love you and take care of you. You may not feel it, but ancestors, many other beings, and loved ones who passed away, are there for you. They are still alive in your heart and in all the Love you shared. Love will never abandon you because it is eternal. Believe in Love!
"Love is a state of being. Your Love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it,
and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form"
Nowadays a lot of us around the world may feel insecurity, uncertainty, or frustration with the events we are living, and this is testing our resilience. Reality is different, our world is not the same. This is the moment when you will discover if you can easily adjust to change.
Resilience is accepting your reality and trying to make the best out of it. It is about your capacity to adapt and your resourcefulness. It is about cultivating your capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. I believe you have all of these in yourself, that you are resilient.
Connect with your strength. Walk side to side with fear. You may feel not capable, but I can assure you that you can go through this and much more, and that you will overcome whatever you fear right now. You don’t need to have everything figured out or to be fearless, to find the courage within yourself. You should connect with the inner resources that you have, that are dormant until you really need them. You have gone through other difficult moments and crisis, and here you are. You will survive!
You have an inner coach, a wise advisor inside of yourself. A part of you that is there, ready to lift you up and help you rise. A side that you may not have discovered yet if you haven’t been in serious difficulties before. If you look within, you will discover that inside of you there lives a resilient genius, that shows up to help you when you need it the most, that can offer you perspective, solutions, and connects you with the necessary self-confidence to face adversity. This inner coach is connected to the unlimited resources that the Universe can provide you, if you ask for them and allow yourself to receive.
Resilience is not about being tough, wearing an armor, and acting like a warrior. Don’t be afraid of showing vulnerability. Your strength also resides in your capability to ask for help, to surrender to the circumstances, and to trust that you will be guided, step by step, to the best possible outcome.
You don’t need to be a hero, you just need to know that there is a power within you that will never abandon you, no matter what is happening, and will allow you to persevere and endure in spite of the obstacles. This power that will support you is connected to the higher realms where all the information, guidance, and help you need, is available.
Life is full of challenges, but they are not problems or misfortunes, they offer you the opportunity to evolve, change, and improve yourself by developing new resources. If you remain focused, aware, and calm, you will be able to keep control in any situation, because you will realize that you can only control yourself, not the circumstances around you.
If you want to be more resilient, practice looking at yourself mindfully, observing your thoughts and emotional reactions, and what is happening around you that you might be absorbing. Changing the perspective around a situation, not labeling it, and not fighting with it, changes your reality.
Sometimes what you need is to let go, to release, to take a deep breath and to tell yourself: “It is going to be ok.” Once you are able to feel this in your heart, things start happening, suddenly all looks totally different, and you connect with life again, and feel powerful enough to go through whatever you need to go.
"Like tiny seeds with potent power to push through tough ground and become mighty trees,
we hold innate reserves of unimaginable strength. We are resilient"
We spend so much time fighting reality, talking about it, and criticizing it when we do not like it. There is not only one reality, there are many, as many as people in the world. We see reality as we are, not as it is. We look at the world through our senses, values, philosophy of life, culture, upbringing, education… We judge our life and decide whether it is good or bad.
The truth is that we cannot change the reality that others see, we can only change ourselves and our approach to what we experience and witness. If instead of trying to avoid what is happening we learn how to be with it, how to accept what is happening without losing our balance and alignment, we will gain a lot of wellbeing and joy.
It is difficult to be present and aware when you face a reality that scares you, that you cannot control, that is uncertain. I know. But I am sure you can find the strength within yourself to face it as it is. You are more resilient than you imagine. You can feel and be vulnerable. Never ignore your feelings, because they will offer you the necessary information to be able to do what is best for you.
Investing more energy fighting with life or worrying about it will not solve anything, just the opposite. All the energy you have should be devoted to seeking solutions, not to look at the problems. Go within and you will find clarity. Do nothing and you will create space to receive guidance. Relax and rest and you will have more energy to face anything life sends your way.
Reality is not good or bad, it just is. You cannot run away from it. But you can invest in creating a new reality; one you like, one that is peaceful, loving, and where good things happen. This reality starts with you. You can plant the seeds of the reality you want to live in and see it blossom. You will do it with your daily behavior, with your example, with your good intentions and acts of Love, with your authenticity and your desire to create a better life for everyone, not only for you.
There is always something good to appreciate, even in a life that you don’t like. The world is full of wonders and beautiful things that are not perceived because maybe we pay more attention to the negative things that we experience. Appreciate those things that are important for you, those that you don’t want to lose, and be grateful for them. Focus all your attention on what matters, because this is the way you create a new reality. With the power of your intention and Love.
"Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and
emotion will one day become a reality"
It seems normal to be looking for potential danger and avoiding risks, and it is a survival mechanism that we all have installed in our systems, but it is not all that great if you want to have a joyful life. It is so easy to see what is lacking, to see what you don’t have, or to focus on what is waiting to be solved, that you may forget to focus on what works and on what you have right now.
When your mind is busy looking for solutions to existent (and inexistent) problems, and always focusing on what can go wrong, you energetically live in a world of difficulties and negativity, always having to solve something and unable to relax and enjoy the present moment.
Reality shows us that we can find many problems every day to keep us terribly busy. But how you look at your problems determines your ability to overcome them. Are your problems obstacles, challenges, opportunities to grow, situations that will pass, or something you will be helped with or guided to resolve? Do you feel you have the power to overcome them?
One of the things that will help you to feel more confident and to find the strength you need to overcome any situation in life, is to focus on what is working, in the positive, in what you have in your life. Reflect on all those great things you don’t value or even notice.
Appreciate what you have, not only in the material world, like a safe place to live in, but also the Love and the good things you receive every day. The sunrise, the trees, the breeze in your face, the song of a bird, a nice view or landscape, a good meal, the way your pet shows you Love, the hug or the smile of a loved one… Don’t wait until you lose something to see how important it was. Value and enjoy every bit of life.
In the middle of the chaos, illness, fear, and crisis, realize that you are alive (if you are reading this), and that this is a wonderful thing to celebrate. While there is life there is hope. You may feel down, or maybe you are in a difficult situation, but you won’t solve this by obsessively thinking about it.
The solution can be a shift in your perspective of life and in your openness to the opportunities it can bring you. When you disconnect from the problems, you can find a solution, for instance in the morning after a good night of sleep. When you are relaxed and still, you can receive the information you need. When you let go of stress and stop living in survival mode, you can see things differently and create something new.
Count your blessings, and be grateful for them. See what is working in your life and appreciate it daily. You will bring more of it into your existence. Rely on the Universe, and its immense power to support you. And learn how to use the great power your mind has to configure your reality. Create a world where there is goodness, kindness, generosity, understanding, forgiveness, and Love, starting with Love for yourself. It is your world, a world of your design, you have to live in it, and you can invite others to join you there.
"A positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances
instead of your circumstances having power over you"
You have dreams, desires, things you want to do, to resolve, or to achieve. You want to fulfill all of it, but sometimes when you think about taking action, it may feel like hiking to the top of a mountain. Thoughts such as ‘I am not capable’, ‘I don’t know how to do it’, or ‘it will take a long time or too much effort’, take you further and further away from your goals. But when you take action, things become easier and happen faster than you imagine, and you realize that the process was more challenging in your imagination than in reality.
Why then you do not do what you want to do or procrastinate? One of the reasons for not achieving your goals is the lack of clarity. You may think that you need to figure out the whole thing by yourself before even starting to take a baby step, but the most important thing is to start moving. Clarity may arrive while you move towards your objective when you have taken certain steps.
It is important to know how to deal with uncertainty without feeling stuck. It is ok not to know at the moment how things will unfold, or what the steps are, but this should not be a reason to keep yourself in the same place and not to move forward. The unknown may reserve for you great things and unexpected gifts that you will only receive when you start your journey.
It is difficult to make things happen if you don’t put all your attention and intention on them. Maybe you experience an inner conflict; you want to do something and you do not want to do it at the same time. There is a part of you that wants to and another part that holds you back, finding reasons why you should give up, even before you start. This is the perfect soil for self-doubt. It creates suffering to have ideas and not to put them into practice. Fear does this to you. It paralyzes you and creates difficulties even before you start, but you know what? You are more powerful than your fear!
You need to be kind with yourself and do some inner research about the reasons why you stop yourself from doing something you want to do which is important for you. You may feel unprepared, that it is too risky, or that it is not the right moment to take action. Whatever the thoughts are that hold you back, you better identify and challenge each one of them. At least you will resolve the conflict within yourself, and figure out if you are creating a list of good excuses for not taking action, or what you need to resolve in order to start moving ahead.
Lack of time or resources are the most used reasons for not taking any action. Sometimes they are real, and there is nothing you can do except wait until the right time arrives. But in so many cases, what you need is what I have mentioned above. Take some action, find out information, and start putting all your energy into it. Let go of the self-doubt and lack of clarity, and connect with your inner confidence. If the desire is within you, if the idea came through you, there must be a reason.
Find out how you can transform this idea, project, or change in your life into a reality. Think about how you can do it, and let go of what stops you. Discover your strengths and capabilities to do it. Allow yourself to be helped. Be open and ready because help can come in unexpected ways. Trust that you are not alone and that you are always guided.
The Love for yourself, for your life, and for what you want to do, will allow you to transform challenges into learning experiences that will help you to continue your journey. The further you go, the more confident you will feel about yourself and what you want. Take the first step, whatever it is, and ask for guidance. Take one more, and see how you feel. Before you realize it, you will be at the top of the mountain, and it does not matter what you have achieved, what is important is that you did it.
"The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something"
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Keep your heart open. Pay attention to be sure you are not withholding your Love. Express it freely and totally. No matter what is happening in the world, you can always be loving. Love is now more necessary than ever. Love brings more Love. Be ready to receive it.
There are so many ways to demonstrate Love to everyone through simple acts of Love. Wish a good day, smile frequently, and pay special attention to being kind to all the people you meet today, online or in person. Find opportunities to express your Love.
Awake the Love within you and allow it to flow like a river. Appreciate every loving moment you witness. It doesn’t matter if you give or receive the Love, or if you recognize it in a song or a movie. Look for it. Become aware of its existence and celebrate it. Don’t take it for granted.
Devote energy to connect with Love during your day. Love consciously, with intention, being present, and feeling connected with your heart. Love is so precious, pay enough attention to it. Cultivate it in your life passionately.
You may have closed your heart to protect yourself, maybe you have been hurt in the past, or you are afraid to reopen old wounds. Don’t avoid the suffering or live in the world of thought, disconnected from your feelings. Name your feelings and accept them. Once you have recognized how you feel, allow it to be, don’t reject it, and nurture yourself.
An open heart is the one that can release all the pain and become free to Love. Let go of anything that is not allowing you to give or receive Love. Release the suffering, the pain, the guilt, the sadness... We accumulate so much at an emotional level and we need to release. Show yourself tenderness. Compassion for your own suffering can only come from a warm heart, one with its doors open.
Anything can open your heart. Yesterday I saw a movie called Hachi. It is a beautiful true story about a dog who had a special bond with his master who found him. In the middle of the movie I decided to stop watching it and I went to bed fearing that something would happen to the dog. I didn’t want to suffer. But I was wrong, something happened to its owner. When he died, the dog waited for him at the station, where he greeted him daily, every day, for the next 10 years. Today I saw the end and I cried a lot.
My heart was really touched and it is more open than before. You cannot feel great joy if you are not able to feel the deepest pain. Life is full of experiences, and we must welcome all of them. This is the moment to be kind, to be loving towards yourself. If you cannot connect with the Love within yourself, connect with the Love for your children, pet, friend, partner, or any spiritual being. Love is Love, and it is always there for you.
“When our heart is open, everything we do becomes Love”
Calmness and peace of mind are normal states of being, and you may have forgotten how well you feel when you are at peace, tranquil, and your body is relaxed. Relaxation and peace of mind are inner states. You may tell yourself that you are stressed by the circumstances, the environment, the situation, and that there is nothing you can do about it. But your inner state doesn’t depend on the external circumstances, but on how you react to them.
You cannot change the current situation. It is hard, and I am sure you don’t want to experience it. Can you accept what is happening without entering a spiral of fear and stress? Most of our suffering is created by our fight with reality. Make this easier for you. At the present moment, you are safe, all is well. Don’t transport yourself to an unknown future. Live here and now. Be in this moment. Look for what makes you feel good and do more of it. Center your attention on what still works (not on what does not).
Focus on yourself right now. Scan your body and see how you feel. Look at your mind and see what the predominant thoughts you have are. Are you tense or relaxed? Is your body at ease or contracted? Is your mind at peace or racing? Lots of things can be happening inside you, all at the same time. What you think and feel affects you, all of you. Stress, worry, and fear create a challenge for the body and lower its ability to heal itself.
Observe yourself and ask, what do I need now? What can I do to feel better? Maybe you can stop and take some deep breaths, or close your eyes and relax every part of your body for some minutes, connect with people you Love and cheer them up or allow them to uplift you, journal everything you are experiencing to let it go, listen to your favorite music and dance, devote some time to learning something new, read a good novel and move into the world of imagination… Be creative!
You can change your thoughts and feelings, you can decide to look at a situation differently. Nobody except you is in charge. Yes, there is fear, panic, and scary news, and you can feel all of it in the environment. If you lose your peace of mind you can come back to it. You can release and not accumulate all the emotions you experience and see in others around you. Don’t overwhelm yourself with information and conversations filled with negativity.
Humanity is facing a very difficult situation and trying to control something that is new. But we have done it before, we have overcome illnesses, wars, destruction, hunger, other pandemics… and many other disasters. You will go through this, but try to remain calm and positive as you do. Try to be there for others. Bring peacefulness and a bit of happiness to the world in these difficult times. Be a pillar of light in the dark moments. You can do it!
There is a place inside yourself where there is peace, stillness, and tranquility. It is a place where you can let go of all the thoughts and feelings that don’t allow you to be at peace. It is a place where you can rest, and allow your body to relax. It is an inner home, a place where you feel still and your mind is calm.
You have the key to this space where the outside world disappears, and you can experience true peace. You can arrive there by cultivating mindfulness, relaxing your body, being in silence, taking a pause and being with yourself, breathing slowly and deeply, doing a guided meditation, going to your heart and connecting with the energy of Love that resides there… going within. Invest in yourself and your health, and remain calm.
"When you have peace in yourself and accept, then you are calm enough to do something,
but if you are carried by despair, there is no hope"
Thich Nhat Hanh
Your inner world is a space inside of yourself that you can call home. It is a quiet, still, and wonderful place, where you can recharge batteries, connect with yourself, and remember who you really are. I love a quote by Gunilla Norris that illustrates this: “Within each of us, there is a silence as vast as the Universe. And when we experience that silence, we remember who we are.” You have a body and a mind, but you are more than a human being because the divine resides within you.
We live most of our lives focused on the exterior world. We get our value, our Love, and our resources, from outside sources. We invest lots of energy in finding 'our place in the world.' We depend upon others to feel good, accomplished, and valuable because it seems that our sources are others’ opinions or validation, social standards, religious or cultural beliefs, social media… I invite you to find, within yourself, the whole truth of who you really are and what the life you want to live is. Make regular visits to your inner residence.
Invest in knowing yourself. Spend time in your own company, in calmness, and doing nothing. Breathe and just be. Pause and relax. Ask yourself questions and you will receive answers. Find ways to learn about yourself, such as your astrological birth chart, the Akashic Records, the messages of your dreams, meditation, or others. Step into the unknown parts of yourself. Discover the beautiful you, the real you, who you are. Reveal your magnificence. Inner work will allow you to inhabit your inner world. The only one that is real and where Love resides.
Do inner research to find who you are. Ask yourself what your values are core beliefs are, and if you are living according to them. Maybe you have never asked yourself these kinds of questions before, but perhaps now is the right moment. Accept what you discover without judging yourself. Awareness is the first necessary step. Once you decide what your new life is going to be, it will be the moment to take action and live differently and happily.
It may seem easier to avoid any kind of introspection and live a life where all is set up and clear, where you know what you have to do, how you have to behave, and what is going to happen if you follow the rules of the system. If you just want to fit in, that’s ok. But to live authentically will require from you to step out of the known world, the one you were raised in, or the culture you belong to, and to ask yourself if there is anything that you have learned which is not working for you anymore.
What I am describing is not to change, it is more to come back home. The wisdom of who you are resides within you. You can access your essence, the source of Love, whenever you want. It will only require to go for it, totally and unconditionally, without trying to understand how with your reasoning mind. Why don’t you set up a time to spend with yourself, to go home? It would be a good way to begin.
Live in your heart. Connect with the source of Love within yourself and you will feel one with the world around you. The suffering we all experience is based on disconnection and lack of Love for ourselves and our lives. You will experience unconditional Love when you live in your heart. Open your heart and Love!
"Your heart is where your inner light resides. It is part of every sacred journey to reconnect with
your inner light, step into your divinity, spread the light of love before you, return to
the essence of love, and inspire others to do the same"
Think of all the times you judge yourself, criticize yourself and blame yourself for all that is not working in your life, that you did wrong or that you didn’t do. Many times… it seems that we believe that the way we improve ourselves is by beating ourselves up. Going against ourselves without compassion. Acting like a controlling parent who pays more attention to the mistakes than to the successes.
We all have flaws, weaknesses and lacks. We’ve all made mistakes, errors, and nobody is not perfect. You need to assume that it is not necessary for you to do everything wonderfully and perfectly. Give yourself permission to be human. Take a deep breath and relax, don’t be tense all the time trying to avoid making a mistake. Focus more on what you have done well, value your strengths, pay attention to your achievements, even the small ones, and see your uniqueness.
The only thing you can do is to offer your best to the world, and when you don’t arrive to your standards of perfection, remember that you are human, that you will have more opportunities, that you will do it better next time. See every experience in life and any occasion, as opportunities to learn. Don’t consider anything as a failure or mistake.
You can forgive anything. You can forgive those who wrong you, betray you, disrespect you, or even abuse you. Once you understand that forgiving them doesn’t deny that the facts happened, and that you don’t condone the actions, that is only about letting events remain in the past, totally. Once you have forgiven, whatever happened belongs to the past and you live now in the present, where the events do not affect you at all.
You can overcome, by decision, what happened to you. You can free yourself of the suffering of remembering the events and reviving the emotions associated with them. It is a release to do that. You feel lighter and stronger, when you are not a victim of a past experience anymore. But let me ask you, can you forgive yourself? You, the one that in your mind is causing all the misery in your life, the guilty one, the person that made a so called `big mistake´ or failed.
The answer is: yes, you can, if you want to. You will do it because you Love yourself and you treat yourself with Love. You forgive yourself because you owe yourself some compassion and kindness, because you have a mindset where the present and the future you build every moment are more important than whatever experience you faced in the past, because you want to move on, because you are able to accept yourself as you are, with weaknesses and strengths, all of you. You forgive yourself because you want to.
The power of forgiveness is immense. You can transform your life if you just make a list of experiences you feel ready to forgive, to let go, to release and you do it. You don’t need anything else except your commitment to let it go from your system once and for all. Love will do the work. Unconditional Love for yourself is what changes your life and all it includes. Don’t carry unnecessary weight around. Release the past hurts, wounds, grudges, anger, resentment, and set yourself free. Then, open your heart and Love fully again.
"Forgive yourself. The supreme act of forgiveness is when you can
forgive yourself for all the wounds you’ve created in your own life.
Forgiveness is an act of self-love. When you forgive yourself,
self-acceptance begins and self-love grows"
Miguel Ángel Ruiz Macías
New, fresh, start, beginning! Each moment of every day offers you an opportunity to start a new life. A lot of people tend to think that January 1st, the beginning of the month, or next Monday, are perfect dates to take action and change their life, set up new goals, or decide to stop doing something they believe is not good for them. I suggest you don’t wait anymore. Whatever you want to do or change, now is the moment.
Don’t follow old strategies in order to transform your life. Find new ways and motivation inside yourself, improve your life because you deserve it. Do it for you! In order to change you invest energy on what you have decided you should do, or stop doing, from now on. Maybe it’s dealing with your weight, health issues, finances... all of these are just different objectives, but what you will experience while you try to live in a different way will be similar.
You want to do it, you start focusing on the new goal, inner motivation pushes you for the first days or weeks, and then, inadvertently, you lose the energy you started the process with. Life happens and you cannot find the time, you get caught up in something, you have more work than usual, you experience challenges at home... and your non-achieved goal, whatever it was, realistic or not, big or small, achievable or a pipe-dream, goes to the list of things that you tried but didn’t happen.
Now you have a new problem: you feel that you have failed yourself. You haven’t solved what you wanted or you haven’t achieved your goal, your life is still the same, nothing has changed. In this moment of realization, lots of feelings can appear, like frustration, anger, sadness… but you need to be kind and compassionate with yourself and apply a little bit of self-forgiveness.
You did what you could. You have your list of good reasons why you couldn’t do it: a lack of energy, it wasn’t the right moment to initiate the change… it doesn’t matter what happened. Let it go! You tried, and it is the important. Doing your best is enough but, if you decide to focus on the same goal again, you should find a new way to achieve it. Think differently, open yourself to new ideas or methods.
Ask yourself practical questions. Can you find help from experts in the field, maybe through books, videos, podcasts, classes, or online learning? Can you plan differently? Should you hire a coach who will take you by the hand and accompany you throughout your process? Do you need someone who will keep you accountable? Can you learn how to be more persistent and not give up? How can you avoid getting distracted from your goal? Where can you find new tools to change more easily?
What you really need is a radical shift in perspective. Love yourself enough to choose a way of living that includes what is important for you. You can live worried about what is not working or lacking in your life, in a constant state of tension and stress, or... not. Learn how to dedicate yourself to what you desire. Take action today!
Real change comes from within, don't try to change only the external circumstances of your life. Start spending time in your own company, learn to be consciously present, know yourself better. Find a space within you where you can relax, where the outer world doesn’t affect you and you can be still, at peace, and charge batteries.
Do some inner work. Spend time with yourself and connect with who you are in essence, and immediately you will reconnect with the entire Universe, with whom you are one. Inspiration, new ideas, and the necessary energy to create a new life will arrive to you while you are in this state of being.
Use mindfulness, journaling, meditation, walking in nature, looking at the stars, or whatever works for you. What matters is not the technique or tool you use, but the understanding that beyond the one who thinks, acts, judges and worries, there is a much more powerful being that can flow with life.
Living in a state of flow is the secret of happiness. You cannot change reality, but you can flow with it. You can look at it differently, you can have a different understanding, or experience it in another way. This will transform you and your life radically. This is a new way of living.
"No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change"
Barbara De Angelis
Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want.