Being with yourself means spending time in your own company. It is becoming aware of what is happening within yourself, internally, and not only around yourself. You have a world inside that you may not have discovered yet. If you pay attention, you will distinguish more than thoughts in your mind or sensations in your body. You will be able to receive messages, guidance, helpful information, and become more aligned and balanced.
It is difficult to spend time with someone you dislike. Sometimes we run away from ourselves for this reason. If you don’t have a good opinion of yourself and your life, it may not sound like a good plan to hang out with yourself. A good beginning will be to look at yourself with new eyes and from a different perspective. It is necessary that you appreciate your gifts more than your flaws. Judgmental thoughts and not being able to forgive yourself can be the reason why it is difficult to feel connected to and good about yourself.
When you are with someone you Love, you pay attention to their likes and dislikes, needs and desires, what they say, and their body language. You look into the eyes of the person. You are present, totally there. But what do you do when you are with yourself? You forget you exist most of the time. You don’t take good care of yourself because other things or people are priorities, you don’t listen to your body and its messages or red flags, you ignore what your feelings are trying to say… In summary: You treat those you Love better than you treat yourself.
The poet Rumi asked in one of his works: do you make regular visits to yourself? It is an important question because we tend to forget that we need to be in a good relationship with ourselves. This is the most important relationship you will ever establish. These visits may consist of a silent walk, a time to reflect, journal or write, meditate, or ask yourself questions. The activity doesn’t really matter, it is about devoting time to you and your inner sacred center or essence.
In recent studies, scientists have detected that most of the time we are not present where we are. Our mind wanders. It is the way it is. But what you have to know is that we can train the mind to wander less and be more present in the activity or moment where we are now. It doesn’t require extensive training, just to pay attention, more at the beginning, until you know how to be more in the present than in the past or future. It is easier than you think, and the benefits of being with yourself in the present are enormous.
I invite you to try. Don’t waste more time. You are invited to a special party. It is called Me and I. You are the only one invited. It is an opportunity to know yourself better. You are going to have a great time if you want to. Drop any expectations. Go there with an open heart and a Love Letter written to yourself. You can’t miss this opportunity of being intimate with yourself. Love yourself for no reason. You deserve your Love. Don’t look at what is missing or what you would like to be. Focus on becoming just you. Appreciate what you have and who you are now. Be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. I am sure you are unique, and there is only one like you. I Love you as you are.
"Sometimes you just have to turn off the lights, sit in the dark,
and see what happens inside of you"
Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want.