We all harbor an image of ourselves, a perception of who we are. Often, this self-image is far from accurate, influenced by a relentless focus on our mistakes and failures rather than our inherent worth as human beings. Each of us carries a suitcase brimming with past pain and experiences. We mistakenly believe that these experiences define us, but that's simply not true.
What happens is that we sometimes become deeply intertwined with these events and their repercussions in our lives. Learning to let go of this past baggage is a profound commitment to yourself that becomes a gateway to your freedom. Imagine a version of yourself in the present, unburdened by the weight of your past.
It's essential to recognize that your self-image is not solely shaped by your own perceptions but is also influenced by what you believe others think of you. While you may have never sought their opinions, if you hold a negative view of yourself, you might assume they share the same perspective.
In reality, others are often more compassionate and understanding than we are toward ourselves. They see our talents and what we bring to the world more clearly and accept and Love us just the way we are. This is a concept that can be challenging for us to grasp. We hold insider information, and this unique insight prevents us from aligning with the opinions of others, which sees us as humans with both flaws and valuable unique qualities.
To avoid feeling inadequate, disappointing others, or losing their approval or Love, we often wear a facade of perfection. Every day, we subject ourselves to significant stress to project confidence, even when we don't feel it. If we could relax and be authentic, we'd tap into resources we don't realize we possess. However, when we feel not enough, or we are afraid of not being accepted or liked, we inadvertently create the very situation we dread.
People may listen to your words, but they unconsciously pick up on your self-perception, sensing the incongruence between what you say and what you truly feel. If you attempt to fake a version of yourself that you don't genuinely embody, your body language will ultimately betray you. You might keep up the play for a while, but it will exhaust you, leading to a moment when you reveal, intentionally or not, that you are not wholly who you say you are.
The good news is that all of this can change if you focus on building a more loving relationship with yourself. You don't need to change who you are to find inner peace; you need to become the source of your own Love and approval. Self-acceptance is the key to building the confidence and self-worth you want to convey to the world.
Construct a positive self-image, cultivate appreciation for your extraordinary qualities, and prioritize your worth over the need to impress or shield yourself from judgment. When you present yourself as someone who wholeheartedly accepts and embraces who you are, you embody authenticity and self-confidence. You have so much to offer, and when you see it, the world will, too.
Grant yourself the opportunity to disconnect from the past experiences and situations that you believe have brought you to where you are now. Remember that you are not defined by your past; whatever has happened or is currently happening in your reality does not diminish your importance or uniqueness. As you nurture your innate qualities and share them with the world, you'll discover that your existence has a profound purpose.
If you're struggling with self-doubt, try looking at yourself from a different perspective. Avoid comparing yourself to others, and search for the reasons to connect with your intrinsic worth, because it is real. Delve within to unearth your valuable qualities. You can be mindful of areas where you can improve without overlooking the fact that your very existence is a testament to your greatness. Cease the self-criticism and judgment of your imperfections and replace them with Love and appreciation for yourself and your life.
Self-Love will be the driving force behind any necessary changes, and will help you connect with your inner resources. Shift your perspective to one of understanding and forgiveness. What you think about yourself matters immensely. If you don't acknowledge your greatness, how can you expect others to recognize it? You don't require any evidence of change to start seeing yourself differently; you need only accept yourself as the foundation for becoming the person you desire to be. You're ready for this transformation, and the only thing holding you back is yourself.
"Total, unconditional acceptance of yourself is the first step
in building a positive self-image"
Nido R Qubein
Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want.