You may believe you were born to do important things with your life. It is true. You have unlimited possibilities and it is never too late to create, learn, or do new things. But the most important reason why you were born was to live your life to the fullest, the only thing that only you can do. You are alive to become yourself, to be just you.
I am writing this blog on a plane that is taking me from Miami to New York, and I discovered myself making my to-do list of pending work and errands. Now all is written in the notes of my phone, technology has simplified my life. I can remember what I must do, I have a good memory and a real agenda on paper, but lists help me focus and prioritize. What I realized is that the most important things are not in my to-do lists.
Have you ever created a to-be list? If not, do it for fun. It is the most amazing contribution to your life that you can give yourself. After creating your to-be list don’t get sad or frustrated if you realize that you have forgotten your dreams, that you have self-sacrificed too much, that you haven’t loved enough, or that you are living a life that is not true to your values. These things happen to all of us human beings.
What do you want to be? Who do you want to become? Asking yourself these questions will help you create a true to-be list. I will share the two most important items on my to-be list to give you an example.
I want to be loving towards myself and others.
I want to be kind with everyone and everything.
I want to become more loving and kinder. I am, I should say, achieving it through my daily decisions, actions, and attitude towards myself and others.
It shouldn’t require more than five minutes to create a to-be list. Write 2 to 5 statements you want to live by. Don’t make it too long. Look at your list through the day. You can read the list slowly to feel and embody every aspect of it, or to remind yourself of your commitment.
Include in your list only the items you want to focus on. If it was a to-do list you would list those urgent matters or errands you must do first, not your goals for three or six months, or one year ahead. What you include in your to-be list should be the aspects you as a being would like to be living by right now. Do you want to be kind, empowering, trusting...? What do you really want?
Don’t avoid writing certain items in your to-be list because you have no idea how you will accomplish them. When your to-do list includes finding a dress or a suit for a wedding and you don't have any idea where to buy them, or what kind of dress or suit you need, you still list this errand because the wedding is in 10 days. Then you start a process of research, and I can promise you that you will be helped if you ask for help, and voilà, the dress or suit finds you.
The same will happen with your to-be list. A book, a coach, a teleseminar, an email, a workshop, a conversation, in meditation, an aha moment going back home... you will receive guidance that will help you be who you want to be. Stay focused, use your list wisely. Become yourself now.
"The essential lesson I have learned in life is to just be yourself. Treasure the magnificent being that you are and recognize first and foremost you are not here as a human being only.
You are a spiritual being having a human experience"
How difficult it is to do nothing. We are so used to going from task to errand, from work to home chores, from `must do things' to `chosen activities', but all is about doing, achieving, accomplishing. Have you ever made an appointment with yourself to do nothing? Do you know how to just be? Maybe you consider life too precious to waste it doing nothing, but let me remind you that doing is not living.
Being allows you to connect with the world, to re-connect with yourself, to feel alive, to charge batteries, to pause and rethink, to reconsider, or to observe with perspective. Nothing has to be done to achieve all these things. You only need to allow them to happen. By taking a pause from your daily activities, you will send a note to your higher self, saying that you are available, and it will start talking to you.
You will only be able to listen to the wisdom of your heart doing nothing, in silence, still, in meditation or a meditative state... when you pause. This voice whispers, and it talks in so many different ways to you. For a lot of people, being in silence seems to be as difficult as doing nothing. We feel uncomfortable in the presence of silence. We feel an immediate need to fill it with any word, even if it is not important.
The problem we have is that in silence and doing nothing, we have to listen to our inner voice. Unless you have cultivated a good relationship with yourself, this voice is usually very critical, judgmental, and not compassionate. It does not forget any of your mistakes or faults, and does not hesitate to remind you of all that is not working in your life.
The real reason we don't spend more time in silence, relaxing, being present in our lives is that we want to distract ourselves. We multitask, we live in several places at the same time. We spend more time looking at what others do or say in the media, or social media, than looking at ourselves and our lives.
To do inner work is not really an option if you want to grow in happiness, Love, and abundance. Let me tell you the secret of success in life: Love yourself and others passionately, unconditionally, without limits. Love is the key to your happiness and success and will allow you to enjoy the most wonderful life you can ever imagine, and the way to self-Love begins in silently and gently listening to yourself, doing nothing. I Love You!
"Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn"
Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want.