All of us have our own idea about what is Love and how we want to be loved. You have your own expectations about how your loved ones have to behave and how they have to demonstrate their Love to you. You may think that Love is conditional and that it depends on what others do or don't do for you, but let me tell you that there is a different kind of Love, true Love.
Let go of your expectations about what your relationships should be and what will you receive. When you Love, give your Love freely, don't expect anything in return. Don't ask for Love, give it and it will come back to you multiplied. You are a source of Love, the Love starts within you, and it is abundant.
Your happiness doesn't depend on the Love you receive from others, it is connected with the way you Love yourself and others. Don't be disappointed because of the behavior of those you Love. Accept them the way they are, don't ask them to change. Don't control them or their Love. Don't measure the quantity of Love you receive, Love others without expecting a determined outcome, just Love, and Love unconditionally.
To be able to Love without conditions and expectations, you need to Love yourself the same way. If you are non-judgmental with yourself, you will be able to be the same way with others. If you can forgive yourself for whatever happens in your life, it will be easier for you to forgive others. You can Love madly, passionately and with all your heart, but you need to start with yourself.
What you miss in a relationship is sometimes what you are not able to give to yourself. If you want more attention, or proofs of Love, ask yourself if you are giving it to yourself. If you cannot trust your partner, think if you are self-confident enough and if you trust yourself. If you are afraid of losing the Love of others, see if there is fear of abandonment in yourself. Sometimes, we ask others to behave in a certain way when we cannot do it, or when there is an unresolved issue that needs our attention.
There are so many ways of relating to one to another. We all seek Love, consciously or unconsciously, but our ideas about what Love is and our expectations can be different. You have learned what Love is through the relationships you have established, from what you watched in the media, what others shared with you, and also from the relationship your parents had between them and with you, and the way you were raised. Your idea about what Love is will also depend on your nature, the way you are, and how much you value and Love yourself. There is one Love, but so many ways of loving. Drop your expectations about how to be loved and about how Love should make you feel. Live your Love!
“True love begins when nothing is looked for in return”
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want.