When you relate to others, be sure that you build a relationship that is authentic, no matter if it is with your life-partner, a colleague, a friend, or your children. See the other person as they are, and accept them completely, all of them. Don’t try to change, fix, or tell the other person how they must be to meet your standards.
To have a relationship means to support the other person, to empower them, to be there for them, but also to respect the other person and their decisions, even when you don’t like them. How difficult is to see that someone you Love deeply is stuck, confused, unhappy, or is not making the best decision (in your opinion). It can be hard to support them until they find a way out, a solution, or a new and better path in life. We frequently give unasked advice to others, with our best intentions, and it might not help the other person to move forward or to feel better.
In order to relate authentically with others, you should know who you are. You see the world through your own eyes, and you decode what happens to you influenced by past experiences, your belief system, your childhood, education, and the environment you live in. When you look at someone else, try to be neutral. You may inadvertently judge others, or project into them what you have not solved in your life, haven’t overcome or understood yet, or everything you are not conscious of, because it is suppressed or repressed. We blame others for making us feel a certain way, when they are giving us an opportunity to resolve underlying issues and unconscious patterns, and to heal past wounds that still affect us in the present.
We create relationships that are based on the ideas that we have about what our connection with a person should look like. Maybe we don’t know the real ‘person,’ not because they don’t allow us to do so, but because we don’t see who they really are. Sometimes, we idealize someone and, after the honeymoon period, once we see how the other person really is, we reject them. The other person has not changed, they were always the same. What has changed is only our opinion, and we realize that we were relating to this person through the filter of our own ideas about how the relationship should be.
If you want to really know someone, take your time to be with this person and build the connection; invest in it. Listen to what they say, and look at the way they act. Their behavior may speak louder than their words. When you are together, be one hundred percent present and give this person all your attention. You will perceive a lot more than mere words in a conversation. When you listen, don’t listen to answer, just listen deeply and actively. Make an effort to respond, not to react to what is said. Choose your words carefully and think if what you are going to say just fills the silence, or if it is really meaningful, uplifting, and necessary.
We learn a lot in our relationships. We become better beings in relation to others. We change the lives of those whom we Love. We are transformed by the Love we give and receive. Every relationship should bring out the best of each person (hopefully!), and if this is not the case, it might be teaching you something.
If a relationship you are in is not working, don't only blame the other person, always look at yourself too, and figure out what can you do on your end to improve it, even if it is just to be more loving. Look at what you bring to every one of your relationships, and try to be at your best in every encounter or conversation. Don’t ask for Love, shared it, give it freely and it will return to you multiplied.
"But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between
you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a
moving sea between the shores of your souls"
Life is not static, it is constant creation. All you desire is already happening somewhere, at this exact moment. You don’t know why this is possible. You cannot understand how you are creating, but it doesn’t matter, it will happen while you keep your desires alive, don’t stand in your own way, and are open to receiving, at any moment.
In some place, there is someone that will Love you the way you are, someone that will treat you like you deserve, someone that will share all his Love with you without asking you for anything in return. The fact that unsuccessful relationships are part of your story, doesn’t mean that the most wonderful Love is not around the corner.
There is the perfect place for you, the house of your dreams exists or is already being built someplace. The place where you belong and that feels like home is waiting for you. You will get there if you allow it to happen. It is not a matter of time, effort, or money; it is a matter of readiness. Your task when faced with anything you desire in life is to make yourself ready to receive it. Don’t sabotage your opportunities.
Your life can change for the better at any moment. You should expect the best because this is what the Universe has in store for you. You deserve it. Can you believe it? Stop thinking about what can go wrong, where can you fail, about the worst case scenario. Don’t judge your life and put yourself down. Don’t put limits on yourself. Don’t say no. Be open to receiving all that can come to you unexpectedly, when you less imagine it, in a way you haven’t experienced before.
Let go of your timing and the life you have planned, and open yourself up to the world of imagination. There is a different way of living and being, and it is simpler than what you may be experiencing now. It is based on being in alignment, on the connection between your thoughts and emotions, your words and your actions.
When you are connected, you feel confident because you know that you are not alone, that you are always guided. You perceive clearly that you are not the creator of your life, that there is a more powerful force, call it what you want, that helps you at any moment if you allow it to happen. You have free will though, and you can always choose how you want to live your life.
Expect the unexpected. Convince yourself that step by step you can build the life you want, that nothing is eternal and that wonderful changes can happen at any moment. Focus your attention and intention in what matters to you, but without putting pressure on yourself.
At all moments there is Love available for you, at all moments, there is hope in front of you, at all moments there is happiness around you. Take what you need and share it. Elevated thoughts, loving thoughts, grateful thoughts, will change your reality at any moment. Life has big surprises and lots of gifts in store for you. Are you ready? They can arrive at any moment.
"There's always going to be the circumstances you can't plan for.
There's always the unexpected relevance and the serendipity"
Love is the force that connects all of us, it is the energy that transforms, heals and moves you. Only because of Love your existence makes sense, because you were born to learn how to Love unconditionally and how to receive this kind of Love.
True Love never disappears, it cannot be killed, or extinguished. Unconditional Love never does. The real Love that I aspire to bring to the world is such a powerful energy that it can never be destroyed. It is the kind of Love a baby or a pet awakes within you. It is more than a feeling, it lasts more than a relationship or a friendship because it is always there. It is big Love, Love with a capital "L".
What we learn since childhood is usually conditional Love, the one that only exchanges affection for affection, and always wants something in return, the one that tries to control or possess you, the one that you may lose at any moment if you don't behave in a certain way. But that is not Love.
If someone tells you "I Love you", don't listen to the words, see what their acts say. Love has to be demonstrated to be real Love; it cannot be just a word. When you Love someone truly, unconditionally, for no specific reasons, you experience divine Love. You can Love someone in spite of themselves. Not because they are doing something for you, not even because they are in a relationship with you. You can Love others and yourself because you choose to.
When your Love comes from you and it is based on your decision to Love everything and everyone no matter what, it is real Love. Then you don't have to wait for others to Love you, because you recognize and connect with the Love within yourself and, being filled with it, you can share it with others and multiply it. It comes back into your life from everywhere, as a result of you sharing your Love constantly and unconditionally.
Love is energy and can be felt by others. There is no need to tell everyone I Love you. You can do it with your intention. Your energy will tell the rest of the world how loving you are, and your actions will demonstrate it. If you want to make the world a better place, the only thing that you need to do is to be more loving. This will not only transform your life, it will transform the life of those you touch, and the world as a result. Just Love!
"True love begins when nothing is looked for in return"
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
All of us want to feel loved. We want to receive proof that we are loved. We want dedication and attention. We can even withdraw our Love when we are not sure if another person loves us, or when we feel insecure in a relationship. But Love is never conditional. Real Love does not expect retribution, a guarantee, and has no obligation. Love just gives without expecting anything in return. Love just wants to be expressed.
The world of Love seems to be complicated. Some cannot find it, others had it and lost it, there are people that have never experienced it, others are afraid of it, or cannot express the Love they have inside themselves. We aim to poses something that we don't even know how to describe, to find, or to keep. Love can take you to the moon, make you feel special, bring out the best in you, and allow you to become a better person. But Love can make you feel miserable and vulnerable, and break your heart, and so many people have built tall walls to protect themselves from it because they believe that Love hurts.
How it possible that Love can be so desired, and we all want to experience it and, at the same time, loving seems so scary and it creates so much suffering? Every relationship that we establish is an opportunity to learn how to Love and to be loved. Love is a choice. It is a state of being. It is a decision we can make, even in spite of the other person. We Love because we decide to. When we Love no matter what, for no specific reason, or without expecting anything in return, we are loving unconditionally.
To be able to Love others you have to Love yourself first. By doing that, you will be able to share your Love without asking anything in return, without trying to control or possess the other person in order to assure your dose of Love. Your own Love will support you, and will allow you to be more compassionate, understanding, and less judgmental with others. Love is free like the wind, or it is not Love. You cannot demand to be loved; it has to be given to you freely. Love is a flow, we offer our Love and we receive Love.
When you invest all your energy in loving yourself, you create a full battery of Love that is ready to be shared with others. You will be able to give Love without the need to receive it. Love will arrive to you anyway, your essence of Love will attract more Love into your life. The Love that you express, the Love of who you are, will make you so attractive and irresistible. Love is not an exchange. Love is what you already have within you, and you share. It is the energy that drives you. It is the solution to any problem you may have. It is the key that unlocks all hearts. Be Love.
"It is all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you,
rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit"
In the world we live is more necessary than ever to find a way to connect with ourselves. We are always doing, rushing, stressed, and feeling the weight of the world on our shoulders. It is important to find a way to recharge the batteries of your body, mind, and soul.
Find a daily practice that helps you stop the noise in your mind, the worry or fear. Figure out something that helps you to let go of the limitations and the pressure. You need an inner sanctuary. It is not a physical place; it is more a place inside of you where only you have access, your place. It is a place to relax, to unwind, an imaginary site where you can stop, relax, and find true peace.
People find relaxation through meditation, breathing exercises, the sounds of nature, watching the sun rise, sitting on the beach and listening to the sound of the waves, receiving a massage, or doing exercise. But the place I am describing can be accessed at any time. It should not require a lot of time for you to get there, or a special practice.
What I am suggesting is more of a pause, anytime you feel the need, to return home, a place to reconnect with who you are, with the eternal part of you, the one that is not limited by external circumstances. Try to pause during the day, and allow yourself to be centered and balanced again. Be sure you are in a meditative state throughout your day, not only when you have the time to do one of the activities that help you unwind or let go of stress.
Love is a pathway to arrive to this place. Love is the energy that connects all of us and that will allow you to connect with yourself. When you have a bad day, or feel sad, your mood changes in the presence of someone you really Love. The energy of Love is contagious. But you cannot rely on others to change your state of mind, or to solve your problems. Remember that Love is always there, within you.
You are Love and you always have access to Love. If you are having difficulties, if things don't look good, if you are facing problems and don't know how to solve them, go home. Go to this place that I have described, you will feel safe there. It is a space where you are supported, healed and guided. There you can have access to your higher self, a self that is connected with the Universe and with all that exists. There you will find solutions, answers and lots of Love.
"Love and peace of mind do protect us. They allow us to overcome the
problems that life hands us. They teach us to survive... to live now...
to have the courage to confront each day"
Love is powerful. It is a force that transforms you and allows you to grow. Loving, you become the best version of yourself. Love is the force of your inner being, the fuel it needs to accomplish the agenda of your soul, and to do all you are capable of, even if you are not aware of it yet. The Love for everyone that crosses your path, and travels with you through the journey of your life, will transform your existence and theirs too.
Love is the way you relate with others and with the entire Universe. Love is who you are. It is within you like the seed of a plant that grows and whose flowers blossom. The Universe is waiting for you to open your heart, totally, unconditionally. Then, a new kind of Love will grow within you. A Love without barriers and limits, a Love for everything that exists, not only people or animals, but also nature, water, air, light... a Love that does not separate by the color of the skin, teams, countries, or religions. A universal Love, an unconditional Love.
Let me tell you what Love is and is not about. Love is not attachment, just being with someone, an agreement. Love is not sacrifice or stopping loving yourself to be able to Love others. Love is not sharing whatever is there; in Love we create together a new Universe. Love is not pain; Love has the power to heal you and others. Love is not need or possession, Love, because of its nature, is free like the wind. Love cannot be bought, acquired or controlled, or it stops being Love.
Can you imagine what kind of world you would create if instead of sending Love only to those that belong to your family, friends, and those you cherish, you sent it to everyone and everything? Let me guide you through a nice dream... Imagine that instead of bad mood, anger, hatred, control, jealousy... you will only receive Love. How would the entire world change if every one of us, every day, every moment, focused on sending Love and being open to it?
Hatred does not help you to solve anything. It is like a poison you drink that makes you sick while you are taking it. It may feel good at the beginning, but in the long term, it will only create sickness in you. If you keep hating, only you will become stuck. The person, situation, or the event you hate, might have changed or moved on, or forgiven themselves or you. It is not good or bad to hate; none of our emotions are good or bad, they are just indicators of how near or far we are from Love. Love only brings joy and happiness. If you are suffering for Love, then it is not Love, it is something else. Call Love and Love with come. Send Love and Love will arrive. Become Love and see yourself blossoming.
Whatever you go you will see Love. Travel around the world and see that independently of the language they speak, the climate, how rich they are or the location in the map, people believe in Love. In the middle of a conflict, war, or invasion, there is still Love. Love always survives. It cannot be destroyed and like energy, it constantly manifests and transforms itself. You don't need someone else to change the world. You can do it on your own. You have the most powerful weapon that has ever existed: it is Love. Are you ready to share your Love?
"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get -only with what
you are expecting to give- which is everything"
Love is a state of being. It is not something that comes from the outside. Love is not a feeling, it is who you are. Look deep inside of yourself and you will find it. Love is abundant. It comes from you and it flows outwards to everyone. Love resides in you and it is dormant, waiting until the moment you awaken it within you.
All the Love of the world cannot make you feel loved, if you are not able to Love yourself. You won't be able to recognize true Love coming from others, if you don't feel it coming from yourself. Love yourself simply because you are. You don't need to change or to accomplish anything to Love yourself. You only need to be committed to it.
You are lovable the way you are. Accept yourself, and have the certainty that you don't need to do anything to be loved by others. Don't seek for external approval. You don't need to act in a certain way to receive Love, or to behave like others say, or to please others. Love, true Love, is unconditional. Try to be the best version of yourself, but be always authentic.
Be sure that you live in the world of Love; that Love guides and inspires you; that you act in a Loving way. Love is the energy that makes you feel alive. Love is the solution to any problem. Find the way to share your Love. Tell your loved ones how you much you Love them, and demonstrate it with your actions. Give hugs, smile more frequently, embrace, kiss, share your laughter every time you can, share your joy.
Learn how to Love. Give Love, but don't lose yourself in the process. Learn how to show your affection without the need to control or possess, without expectations, without wanting anything in return, without being afraid of losing your loved one. Love because you want to Love. Enjoy the Love!
“In your heart is all the love you need”
Don Miguel Ruiz
Have you ever asked yourself what do I need to do change my Love life, to have happier and healthier relationships with others? Let me share with you that there is something very important you can do. It is to let go, to release and to forgive. You need to make room for the new to enter into your life, and this is a perfect moment to let go of the old. Let go of the pain, the betrayal, the grievance, the rejection, the abandonment, the loneliness, the sadness, the expectations, the resentment, the anger, the abuse, the arguments, the self-sacrifice, the pleasing others... Choose the words from the list that you can relate with, or make your own list.
We forget, but we don't release or forgive. But let me explain you that everything that you have ever experienced is recorded. You may not be aware, but most of your reactions in life are based in beliefs, ideas or patterns that are not conscious, they were created at one moment in time during your childhood, in the way you were raised, or how you felt at school or with friends, the relationships that you stablished throughout your life, even your relationships at work contributed. All those experiences made you, but they are not who you are. Inside of yourself there is a beautiful being, one that shines with his own light and that is full of Love and ready to share it.
All the experiences that you had around giving and receiving Love may have helped you to believe that Love and relationships are complicated. All the pain you suffered in so many different ways provoked the fear to showing who you really are, to being vulnerable and open to Love and to be loved fully. But there is a different way of Loving. There is a way to get a fresh start and it is to let go of all these experiences. You don't forget, delete or deny them, you just take their power away to continue ruling the way you establish or live your relationships. Remember the good moments, the Love that you felt in so many occasions when you authentically loved and felt loved. Then release, consciously, the pain and other emotions that are sabotaging your present and future relationships.
From now on dedicate some minutes to ask yourself if anything needs to be changed or released. Don't look at others as the source of your pain, look at yourself like the source of every one of your experiences. Know that you have power to transform your Love life, right now. Make yourself ready to let go of the past, forgive those who you think that hurt you, not because of they deserve it, just do it for you. Make yourself free from the past to be able to create a new future. You only need your commitment to decide to release a feeling, to stop holding on a situation, or to forgive yourself. You only need to Love yourself enough to do it. Make your happiness a priority.
Give yourself the opportunity to attract different partners, lovers, friends and colleagues. The kind of people who value you and respect you, who Love you for who you are. You can do it by start recognizing your own value, appreciating it, and learning how to respect yourself. Once you Love yourself no matter what, the people that will be in your life will Love you either. Prepare the way for a new kind of Love by letting go everything that is not serving you, that it is not true, that it is stopping you. Open yourself and your heart to Love. Love is not dangerous, when it is true Love.
"Let today be the day you finally release yourself from the imprisonment of past
grudges and anger. Simplify your life. Let go of the poisonous past and live the
abundantly beautiful present... today"
You deserve to enjoy a happy relationship. We all want to experience that magic Love that brings so much happiness, to fall in Love deeply and madly. I am sure you want to share your life with a partner that is there for you, that supports you no matter what, and that helps you to be a better person every day because of the Love you share. But we don't seem to be able to find or to create this happy and healthy Love. What we call Love creates so much suffering and drama, so many power struggles, when what we expect from it is joy and happiness.
Sharing your life with a partner with whom you are connected at a soul level can enrich your life beyond measure, but relationships are never perfect. Relationships are the way we learn how to Love and be loved. Our conscious and unconscious patterns are at play when we interact with our loved ones, and especially when we establish a new relationship. It is important to take a look at our dynamics in relationships and to identify our beliefs and patterns. They are the key. They will keep repeating in relationship after relationship until we heal them. The universe will keep granting us opportunities to learn our lessons until we do.
The secret of success for your relationships is not to find the "right partner"; it is to be the right partner. When you know yourself and invest time and effort in loving yourself unconditionally, your relationships improve unbelievably. If you want to establish a healthy relationship, it has to start with the relationship that you have with yourself. Don't look at others as the guilty ones. Don't project onto others what it is within you. Take responsibility in your relationships. Make them work. Love always finds a way, if it is true Love.
If have suffered for Love, don't give up on Love. True Love doesn't hurt, but relationships may not work. Never forget that you are a complete individual full of Love to share. If you have not found the right partner yet, there can be certain reasons why and one of the most common is that, without you being aware of it, you are not allowing it to happen. What can be holding you back may be a fear of commitment, of suffering again, of being abandoned, the sensation that you are not good enough, or the belief that Love is too complicated... but it is always a story from your past, that is spoiling your present and your future.
If you want to be in a happy and healthy relationship, you need to let go, release, forgive, and heal whatever is not allowing you to Love freely and unconditionally. Give yourself the opportunity to create a different Love story. Stop living again and again the same events with different partners, fighting for the same issues, and being in relationships where what you get is not Love. Love yourself enough to let go of a relationship if someone mistreats you, does not value you, or does not allow you to be yourself. You deserve a partner that encourages you to go after your dreams, and that allows you to be who you are. You deserve the opportunity to do the same for your partner. Learn how to Love yourself and others. It will be the best investment of your life and it will bring you so much joy. Love is who you are.
"The more connections you and your lover make, not just between your bodies,
but between your minds, your hearts, and your souls, the more you will strengthen the fabric of your relationship, and the more real moments you will experience together"
Barbara de Angelis
Love yourself enough to act on your own interest, to make yourself and your happiness a priority. Be your best friend, empower and encourage yourself. Believe in yourself. There is no one like you and there will never be. You have a unique way of being. You are limitless. Rely in your capabilities to create the life you want. You are in the path of Love, to learn how to Love and how to be loved and it all starts with the Love for yourself. Open your heart.
Love yourself enough to stop criticizing and judging yourself whenever things don't go the way you want, of when you feel you failed. Don't go against yourself for any reason or under any circumstance. Learn how to be more compassionate, understanding and kind with yourself, to be able to accept yourself totally. Develop self-forgiveness. Understand that you don't need to be perfect to Love yourself. You deserve your own Love.
Love yourself enough to choose the relationships that exemplify that Love. Learn how to set up boundaries and express your needs. Respect and honor yourself, and ask others to treat you the same way. Love without abandoning yourself in any relationship or stopping being yourself. Never pretend to please others, or lie to be accepted. Know when and how to say no; do it without feeling guilty, as is your right.
Love yourself enough to be authentically you, without any masks. Invest time in knowing yourself and your gifts, and appreciate them. Spend time with yourself. Let go of the expectations of others about your life. Love unconditionally, both yourself and others, not expecting to get anything in return. Learn to Love without a reason. Don't change, adapt excessively, or make yourself small in order to receive Love. You are lovable the way you are.
Love yourself enough to understand that you are never alone because you are always in the best possible company: your own. Understand that the most important relationship that you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. Don't be afraid to lose Love; when you understand that it infuses your very self, and that you can generate it, you share it without limits and it comes back to you.
Love yourself enough to know that with the power of your own Self-Love you can overcome any difficulty or challenge in life. Choose who you want to be. Trust yourself and your decisions. Live your life with passion. Enjoy every moment of it. Explore it. Expand your horizons. Go after your dreams. Never forget your passions. Find the time to be you and to enjoy it. Let the little child that you still have inside of you go out and play. Connect with yourself and dedicate your life to what is really important: Love.
“No matter how much we give Love, if we don’t give it to ourselves
nobody can Love us enough”
Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want.