Love is a state of being. It is not something that comes from the outside. Love is not a feeling, it is who you are. Look deep inside of yourself and you will find it. Love is abundant. It comes from you and it flows outwards to everyone. Love resides in you and it is dormant, waiting until the moment you awaken it within you.
All the Love of the world cannot make you feel loved, if you are not able to Love yourself. You won't be able to recognize true Love coming from others, if you don't feel it coming from yourself. Love yourself simply because you are. You don't need to change or to accomplish anything to Love yourself. You only need to be committed to it.
You are lovable the way you are. Accept yourself, and have the certainty that you don't need to do anything to be loved by others. Don't seek for external approval. You don't need to act in a certain way to receive Love, or to behave like others say, or to please others. Love, true Love, is unconditional. Try to be the best version of yourself, but be always authentic.
Be sure that you live in the world of Love; that Love guides and inspires you; that you act in a Loving way. Love is the energy that makes you feel alive. Love is the solution to any problem. Find the way to share your Love. Tell your loved ones how you much you Love them, and demonstrate it with your actions. Give hugs, smile more frequently, embrace, kiss, share your laughter every time you can, share your joy.
Learn how to Love. Give Love, but don't lose yourself in the process. Learn how to show your affection without the need to control or possess, without expectations, without wanting anything in return, without being afraid of losing your loved one. Love because you want to Love. Enjoy the Love!
“In your heart is all the love you need”
Don Miguel Ruiz
All of us have our own idea about what is Love and how we want to be loved. You have your own expectations about how your loved ones have to behave and how they have to demonstrate their Love to you. You may think that Love is conditional and that it depends on what others do or don't do for you, but let me tell you that there is a different kind of Love, true Love.
Let go of your expectations about what your relationships should be and what will you receive. When you Love, give your Love freely, don't expect anything in return. Don't ask for Love, give it and it will come back to you multiplied. You are a source of Love, the Love starts within you, and it is abundant.
Your happiness doesn't depend on the Love you receive from others, it is connected with the way you Love yourself and others. Don't be disappointed because of the behavior of those you Love. Accept them the way they are, don't ask them to change. Don't control them or their Love. Don't measure the quantity of Love you receive, Love others without expecting a determined outcome, just Love, and Love unconditionally.
To be able to Love without conditions and expectations, you need to Love yourself the same way. If you are non-judgmental with yourself, you will be able to be the same way with others. If you can forgive yourself for whatever happens in your life, it will be easier for you to forgive others. You can Love madly, passionately and with all your heart, but you need to start with yourself.
What you miss in a relationship is sometimes what you are not able to give to yourself. If you want more attention, or proofs of Love, ask yourself if you are giving it to yourself. If you cannot trust your partner, think if you are self-confident enough and if you trust yourself. If you are afraid of losing the Love of others, see if there is fear of abandonment in yourself. Sometimes, we ask others to behave in a certain way when we cannot do it, or when there is an unresolved issue that needs our attention.
There are so many ways of relating to one to another. We all seek Love, consciously or unconsciously, but our ideas about what Love is and our expectations can be different. You have learned what Love is through the relationships you have established, from what you watched in the media, what others shared with you, and also from the relationship your parents had between them and with you, and the way you were raised. Your idea about what Love is will also depend on your nature, the way you are, and how much you value and Love yourself. There is one Love, but so many ways of loving. Drop your expectations about how to be loved and about how Love should make you feel. Live your Love!
“True love begins when nothing is looked for in return”
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Do you think that it is hard to find Love? Stop trying to find it and allow Love to find you. It may seem a weird approach. You may be wondering how is going Love to find me if I don’t go after it? Let me tell you the secret: You need to become a Love magnet. Your Soul Mate is out there waiting for you. What you need to do is to prepare yourself for the encounter, and to Love yourself is the key to your success.
When you Love yourself no matter what, you have certain qualities that make you magnetic. Love is a powerful energy that can be detected immediately by others. You don’t need to ask for Love, to go after it, to search it desperately, because Love is already inside of you. Searching for Love might be the reason why you are not finding it. If you Love yourself, you will feel self-confident, you will know which is the best relationship for you, how to express your needs, how to set boundaries, and how to share the Love you already have.
If you want to be with the Love of your life, you need to become it. Work on yourself. Be sure that your heart is open for Love. Are you really ready to meet your Soul Mate? Sometimes, after a break up or a painful divorce, we make an agreement with ourselves to avoid Love and relationships in order to not put our heart at risk again. If you have closed your heart to protect yourself, you won’t allow Love to enter. Love won’t be able to reach you.
You also need to complete your past and let go of any disappointment, pain, or anger that you still have due to past relationships. Love never hurts. Relationships may end, but Love is eternal. True Love exists. Release the feelings of loneliness, and focus on appreciating yourself and your life. Only when you feel ready to Love, and have healed the past, you will be sending the right energy out, Love energy. Then, your Soul Mate will easily find the path towards you.
Love will find you when you least expect it, when you are happier with your life and enjoying it to the fullest, when you are your best friend, and have healed any wounds from the past. You need to believe in Love to find it, you cannot be afraid of it, of not having it, or of losing it when you do find it. Learn how to Love unconditionally, starting with yourself, and your Love life will be transformed in a way you cannot even imagine.
Dream awake and asleep about the wonderful Love that is coming into your life. If you can visualize it, and live as if it is happening, it is already true. You don’t know when your Soul Mate will appear in front of your eyes, or how the encounter will happen, but you need to have a clear idea of what you desire, and how are you going to feel, when your dream becomes true. Keep your desire alive and allow Love to find you. You are meant to be with an extraordinary being. They will accept and Love you. They will help you manifest the best in you. You are lovable and deserve to experience the most extraordinary Love. Believe it. Love is your destiny.
"You have forgotten how lovable you are, and it's this forgetting that's causing you
to search for love and not find it"
Relationships may end, but Love is eternal. Love is the force that connects us with our loved ones through lifetimes. The bond between us may have changed, but the Love that we felt for each other will never disappear, and will always keep us connected. Every relationship that we establish has a purpose. It might be short or long. It doesn't matter. What is important is to recognize that from a soul perspective, we are in a relationship to learn how to Love and how to be loved, to grow, and to develop our potential.
The feeling of unpleasantness that we might feel when we are in a relationship of any kind, is an invitation to transform ourselves, to look deep inside and find out what is triggered in us. We don't need to change the other person or the relationship. What we need, is to pay attention to our reactions and emotions, and to figure out where they come from. We can heal ourselves by doing this. The healing will be done when we will be in the same situation again, but our buttons won't be pushed, and nothing will be triggered.
Relationships provide the opportunity to work on our soul's purpose in this incarnation. None of your relationships with lifetime partners, teachers, family members, colleagues, bosses, or even neighbors, are exempt of the creation of karma, or the understanding of it. Love is the force that helps us to go through it. We are on earth to experience our karma, learn our lessons, and to continue our evolution.
If two people have been married for 15 years and have evolved differently at a conscious level, from a soul perspective, one may be holding back the other in terms of growth. The relationship has lost its purpose, and the couple, eventually, will decide to separate or divorce. Their different vibration will make it happen.
By being in a relationship that has lost its purpose, both are losing the opportunity to be happy in the right relationship, denying themselves the opportunity to grow and change. We become attached to the life we have, we might be too afraid of losing someone or something that we have been building for years, or to break a family or a relationship. But our soul, deep inside of us, knows that it is time for a different relationship, for a different kind of Love.
Even Soul Mates cannot be together lifetime after lifetime. They need to evolve, even if it implies to part ways. Soul Mates have a bond of unconditional Love to support each other. They establish agreements before they reincarnate. But when one Soul Mate becomes too attached to the other, the other will perhaps leave the relationship, break up, or even die, to provide a lesson of detachment.
The pacts that we establish with other souls in the period between lives, before we reincarnate, may change while we live our life. One soul may be busy learning other lessons, or stuck, and then another soul will help us out. We are all interconnected. We establish relationships, and live experiences, that will help us understand karmic issues that we need to solve, how to grow and evolve, and how to provide the same opportunity to others. We have more than one Soul Mate and souls that belong to our soul family, who will be there to support us in anything we need, and to assure us that we are never alone.
"Karma shows itself in relationships. The people you meet, the expectations you have, the circumstances in which you relate, the kind of marriage or other association that you find yourself in, all reflect previous liaisons. You are the sum total of all your experiences, and much it will come about through relationships"
We are born with the capability to Love and to be loved. Why does it become complicated to share our Love and establish relationships as adults? A child is a being full of Love. He knows perfectly how to express it. He is sharing it all the time. He knows what true Love is. It seems that when we grow up we become afraid of loving. It became so important for us to be accepted, to not be rejected that we will do everything in our hands to get the Love we want. At that moment, we start searching for Love outside of ourselves.
A lot of people think that they will start to Love when they find the right person. But the process works in exactly the opposite way. When they start to Love they will find the right person to share their Love with. It seems to be a matter of chance to be lucky enough to find someone to Love, but it is not. Be Love, surround yourself with it, and you will attract Love into your life.
The idea that we have about Love has been created by the influences that we have received during our whole life: the relationship of our parents, the religious group we belong to, our school, our friends, the films we watched and the stories others told us. Our first experiences in romantic relationships will also contribute to our idea about what Love is and how we have to feel in a relationship. Everybody talks about Love or the absence of it but, what is True Love?
We have a lot of expectations when we establish a relationship. Nobody told us that to Love someone is to accept them the way they are. We create an internal image of what the relationship has to be, and when our expectations are not fulfilled, we blame the other person. We try to control the behavior of our partner because we don’t like it. The relationship becomes a war to see who gets control over the other. True Love doesn’t have expectations.
We cannot share what we don’t have. The question is do you Love yourself? Or saying it in a different way, do you accept yourself the way you are? How are you going to accept others if you are not able to do it with yourself? Learn to Love yourself and then you will be able to share your Love with others. You cannot ask others to Love you if you are not able to do it. True Love starts with Self-Love. True Love accepts the other as she is.
We want the other to make us happy, to complete us. How can we put our happiness in his/her hands? Happiness is a feeling that comes from inside of us. It is the result of Love coming out of you. The only one that can provide you with happiness is yourself.
When we don’t get what we want in a relationship, we start judging our partner. We judge him/her for what he does and for what he doesn’t do. He is not fitting into our idea of the way he or she has to behave in a relationship and we don’t accept it. We are not able to change it and we feel unhappy as a consequence. Real Love does not judge. Are we able to do that with the person we are sharing our life with? Can we stop judging and start accepting? True Love doesn’t judge.
True Love does not have expectations. It accepts everything that is given and is grateful for it. Real Love does not have obligations. It is Love without a reason. We Love because we want to. We don’t need a reason or to justify it. It does not expect anything in return. If I Love unconditionally, I don’t feel hurt because of the quantity of Love I am receiving from my partner. True Love respects and does not try to control or manipulate. Love forgives. Love is generous. Love is kind.
“For true love is inexhaustible; the more you give, the more you have. And if you go to draw at the true fountainhead, the more water you draw, the more abundant is its flow”
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want.