When things are not working the way you want, don't wait to take action. Every breath you take is a new breath, a new life, a new opportunity. We have the sensation that we need to wait until tomorrow, Monday or next month to change our lives. But your life can change now, in this exact moment. The only thing you need is to start moving in the direction you want it to go. All that is required is your intention. Where your energy goes is where you will see the changes. You don't need to produce them, just to allow them to happen. The human mind is limited. We can see until a certain point in our lives. Not even with our best level of imagination, would we be able to create a plan as extraordinary as the one the Universe has ready for us. Your life is transformed each minute. I don't want to put pressure on you. This is not my intention. But let me ask you, until when are you going to continue living in an unsatisfactory way, being in a relationship you don't want, or doing the unfulfilling or unpaid job you are in? What needs to happen for you to take a baby step that demonstrates to the Universe that you are ready to change? Everything is possible, you are limitless, you can do it... We use all these phrases, but do we believe in them? The problem is that sometimes we want impossible things, things that are not good for us, things that will require changes in our lives. We blame ourselves, our lives, and the Universe, for not bringing what we desire but we don't realize the consequences of what are we asking for, or we do it without a pinch of conviction, sitting on the sofa with a remote in our hand as a magic wand. The Universe is waiting for your order. Dance with the Universe, allow it to help you arrive to the best place for you, to give you all you desire, to be balanced and whole, to have well-being and an amazing Love life. Ask yourself, "What can I do to achieve these things?" Is there anything that comes to your mind right now? If you came up with a simple idea, put it into practice now! You don't need to do everything today, to solve all your challenges in this moment, or to start taking action in every area of your life. Just choose one thing, the most important right now. It does not have to be big or challenging, but it has to be important enough for you to commit to it. Don't wait any longer to get a fresh start. "The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers.
You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward" Amelia Earhart
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All of us feel, we feel all the time. The variety of feelings we experience is immense and unique for each of us. From Love and content, to rage and sadness, our feelings are like a radar that helps us navigate into the unknown. We take feelings for granted, and we act on them without paying much attention. Every feeling you experience can be connected with an act. You feel sad and you cry, or you feel angry and you scream at others. This may be automatic, but if you really pay attention to your thoughts and emotions, you will understand the root cause of your feelings, and you will be able to choose how you want to respond to what are you feeling. Your feelings are yours, only yours. Nobody or anything can make you feel bad or put you down, except if you give this person or event the power to do it. Nobody can hurt you. It is not possible, it is just an illusion. You might be reacting to someone's actions, but you have the power to choose how you want to respond, instead of reacting directly to someone that is pushing your buttons, or activating something within you. All of us have unresolved issues, things that we experienced in the past and that were never understood or processed. These issues are still there, waiting for the right occasion to make themselves visible. Sometimes this happens at the least appropriate moment. We can learn from what we have lived and overcome it. We can forgive, let go of the pain, the resentment, or the anger against someone or something that happened a long time ago, or yesterday. I invite you to go to the center of your heart, to this place within where all is stored, and to let go of everything that is not allowing you to live a happy life now. I want you to know that you have the capability to express your feelings, and that it is ok to feel what you feel. I want to empower you to relate with others authentically. This will require you to express what you feel without limiting yourself, or avoiding expressing your feelings so as not to hurt others or be hurt by others. Stop going through life shutting up every time you feel it is necessary. You can say what you want to say with Love, politely, in a calm way, but you need to express it. Feel your feelings and find the courage to express them. It does not matter if you want to say I Love you, or I cannot be with you. Both feelings need to be expressed. Say what you feel! "Expressing my feelings and then the opportunity to share it with
others is just such a gift" Mattie Stepanek Every morning you have a choice to make: do you want to experience a great day? It is a daily decision because it depends on you. Your intention is the most important factor when you decide how your day will be. Your happiness is totally in your hands and you shouldn't give it away depending on the events that you experience during your day. You have the power to overcome whatever happens to you, if you believe so. The first thing you need to ask yourself when you get up is how you will make yourself happy today. Plan the day, but don't get attached to any specific result. Your expectations can get you in trouble. If you can only accept one result, it will be more difficult for your day to work out the way you want. Anything that goes out of the plan or schedule you have will take upset your balance and ruin your day. If instead you go with the flow, are present, and take things one step at a time, without worrying about what can happen, your will create a magnificent day. Focus on what is important, in your attitude, in your energy, in what depends on you. Be sure that what you bring to the world is your best, even when things look difficult or unpleasant. We tend to give our peace away when something goes wrong. We switch to anger, fear, frustration, disappointment or any other emotion. It is perfectly normal to react in a concrete situation, but remember that you can also respond to it the way you want. To respond implies that you can choose, that you decide in every moment what you think and how you want to feel. Listen to your emotions, but don't allow them to take you over. Don't lose your personal power. It is always with you, independent of external circumstances. Rely on yourself and in your capability to create a life that works for you. When you can imagine a satisfying way of living, you can achieve it. If you believe that you have options and opportunities you will find them along the way. Whatever you believe will be true. Your imagination is so powerful, and it turns all that you create with it into reality. Use it wisely. Imagine what you want to happen to you. Visualize your desired outcome and you will make it real. It is important to desire, but also to be detached and to understand that things happen within a divine timing. If you believe that something can be yours, you are opening yourself to receive it. From now on, create your day; imagine yourself at ease, flowing, and everything working out. Decide to be joyful. "Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself; I, not events, have
the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it" Groucho Marx In the world we live is more necessary than ever to find a way to connect with ourselves. We are always doing, rushing, stressed, and feeling the weight of the world on our shoulders. It is important to find a way to recharge the batteries of your body, mind, and soul. Find a daily practice that helps you stop the noise in your mind, the worry or fear. Figure out something that helps you to let go of the limitations and the pressure. You need an inner sanctuary. It is not a physical place; it is more a place inside of you where only you have access, your place. It is a place to relax, to unwind, an imaginary site where you can stop, relax, and find true peace. People find relaxation through meditation, breathing exercises, the sounds of nature, watching the sun rise, sitting on the beach and listening to the sound of the waves, receiving a massage, or doing exercise. But the place I am describing can be accessed at any time. It should not require a lot of time for you to get there, or a special practice. What I am suggesting is more of a pause, anytime you feel the need, to return home, a place to reconnect with who you are, with the eternal part of you, the one that is not limited by external circumstances. Try to pause during the day, and allow yourself to be centered and balanced again. Be sure you are in a meditative state throughout your day, not only when you have the time to do one of the activities that help you unwind or let go of stress. Love is a pathway to arrive to this place. Love is the energy that connects all of us and that will allow you to connect with yourself. When you have a bad day, or feel sad, your mood changes in the presence of someone you really Love. The energy of Love is contagious. But you cannot rely on others to change your state of mind, or to solve your problems. Remember that Love is always there, within you. You are Love and you always have access to Love. If you are having difficulties, if things don't look good, if you are facing problems and don't know how to solve them, go home. Go to this place that I have described, you will feel safe there. It is a space where you are supported, healed and guided. There you can have access to your higher self, a self that is connected with the Universe and with all that exists. There you will find solutions, answers and lots of Love. "Love and peace of mind do protect us. They allow us to overcome the
problems that life hands us. They teach us to survive... to live now... to have the courage to confront each day" Bernie Siegel You were born free. You have the power to choose. You have options. You have the power to choose how to be, how to act, what to do with your life. You might be following certain rules, religious beliefs, educational patterns, or cultural ways of being, but at any moment, you can choose to change them and to create a new set of rules to live a happier life, a more fulfilled one. No one can dictate how you have live your life. It is entirely your decision. Everything in your life will change when you take responsibility of who you are, and start asking yourself questions about the way you really see life and want to live it. It may seem to you that your life is decided for you, but not by you. You may think that the country where you were born, or the socioeconomic status of your parents, have influenced your life to a point where you will never be able to achieve what others already have. Maybe you think that your genes or the color of your skin determines the life you can have. Perhaps you believe that your childhood, the way you were raised, the lack of Love you experienced while you were a child will affect your life forever. Or you have arrived to the conclusion that your divorce, or the bankruptcy, or any other situation where you feel you failed, are signs that you are not good enough. This is not true! You were born with certain life circumstances, but they are not you. You are much more powerful than you imagine. You cannot change past events, but you can change the way you are now, and build a totally different present and future. You do it with the power of your intention, your thoughts and your imagination, with the passion and commitment to become the best version of yourself, with the power of self-forgiveness, and by letting go what stops you from being authentically you. You are free to choose, every day, and every second of each day. You don't need to change your life circumstances. You only need to look at them with different eyes. They are not you. They are just events. Learn whatever you can from them and let them go. Life is change. You can change, or life will change for you. Take the lead. Ask yourself what you want, and go for it. Take a leap of faith. Give a try to a new way of living. One where you are free, you choose, you decide. You don't have to continue living in a world where others tell you what your life is supposed to be, where everyone has an opinion about what you have to do except you. Ask yourself if you live in the country you want, in the place you love, if you have the job of your dreams, if you would instead like to do a different activity, what is your passion, what is your purpose, what relationships in your life you want to invest in or abandon. When you have all these answers, you will be able to design the life you want. Then it will be the moment to use your inner power to choose, and to set yourself free to live the life you truly desire. "The secret to happiness is freedom... And the secret to freedom is courage"
Thucydides Love is powerful. It is a force that transforms you and allows you to grow. Loving, you become the best version of yourself. Love is the force of your inner being, the fuel it needs to accomplish the agenda of your soul, and to do all you are capable of, even if you are not aware of it yet. The Love for everyone that crosses your path, and travels with you through the journey of your life, will transform your existence and theirs too. Love is the way you relate with others and with the entire Universe. Love is who you are. It is within you like the seed of a plant that grows and whose flowers blossom. The Universe is waiting for you to open your heart, totally, unconditionally. Then, a new kind of Love will grow within you. A Love without barriers and limits, a Love for everything that exists, not only people or animals, but also nature, water, air, light... a Love that does not separate by the color of the skin, teams, countries, or religions. A universal Love, an unconditional Love. Let me tell you what Love is and is not about. Love is not attachment, just being with someone, an agreement. Love is not sacrifice or stopping loving yourself to be able to Love others. Love is not sharing whatever is there; in Love we create together a new Universe. Love is not pain; Love has the power to heal you and others. Love is not need or possession, Love, because of its nature, is free like the wind. Love cannot be bought, acquired or controlled, or it stops being Love. Can you imagine what kind of world you would create if instead of sending Love only to those that belong to your family, friends, and those you cherish, you sent it to everyone and everything? Let me guide you through a nice dream... Imagine that instead of bad mood, anger, hatred, control, jealousy... you will only receive Love. How would the entire world change if every one of us, every day, every moment, focused on sending Love and being open to it? Hatred does not help you to solve anything. It is like a poison you drink that makes you sick while you are taking it. It may feel good at the beginning, but in the long term, it will only create sickness in you. If you keep hating, only you will become stuck. The person, situation, or the event you hate, might have changed or moved on, or forgiven themselves or you. It is not good or bad to hate; none of our emotions are good or bad, they are just indicators of how near or far we are from Love. Love only brings joy and happiness. If you are suffering for Love, then it is not Love, it is something else. Call Love and Love with come. Send Love and Love will arrive. Become Love and see yourself blossoming. Whatever you go you will see Love. Travel around the world and see that independently of the language they speak, the climate, how rich they are or the location in the map, people believe in Love. In the middle of a conflict, war, or invasion, there is still Love. Love always survives. It cannot be destroyed and like energy, it constantly manifests and transforms itself. You don't need someone else to change the world. You can do it on your own. You have the most powerful weapon that has ever existed: it is Love. Are you ready to share your Love? "Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get -only with what
you are expecting to give- which is everything" Katherine Hepburn We have the tendency to become attached to people, a style of life, or a culture. When change arrives, we don't want to let go of what is known, and makes us feel secure and comfortable. But change is an unavoidable part of life. How are you going to grow if you don't allow your body to change, your cells to duplicate, your mind to develop? The same happens with your attitudes toward life, your belief system and your patterns of thought. They need to be updated from time to time. The Universe will give you opportunities to become detached, to observe from a distance your life in this moment, in order to be able to create a new one. It happens when you are going to be a parent for the first time, for example. You don't know exactly what to expect, but in your mind there are a lot of ideas of what is going to happen. You have created a new world with your imagination, but the baby is not born yet. But there are moments during our lives when you will need to practice neutrality and detachment, maybe towards the situation in your country, or how your parents, siblings, or children are managing a challenging situation, or when you have a health issue, and you need to decide what would be the best way to proceed in order to heal yourself. You will be challenged again and again, until you learn non-attachment and neutrality. It does not mean that you stop caring, being compassionate or empathic. What it means is that you can observe anything that is happening to you, or around you, with a mindful attitude of detachment. As if it is happening to someone else, looking at it as an observer. When you do that you can be more objective, calm, and decide with wisdom what you need to do, or stop doing, in order to go through the life situation you are in. Give it a try next time you are in a challenging situation. Just observe it, don't try to resolve it. Look at it from different perspectives, be detached, and not involved for a moment. "Why is this important?" you may be asking yourself. It is a key skill to develop because attachment is what provokes the most suffering in your life. Attachment to things that are good, and others that are not so good. Addictive behavior, being in relationships that are abusive, allowing others to mistreat you, not leaving a job you hate... all of these situations are related to attachment and a lack of Self-Love. If you want to be happy, truly joyful, allow life to guide you, don't become attached to anything, but Love everything. "Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached"
Simone Weil Your emotions are real! Accept the way you feel. Your emotions are not lying to you. They are your guidance system, your compass in the sea of life. When a certain emotion shows up, it comes with a message. A very concrete and detailed letter addressed to you. This missive cannot be avoided or deleted. You need to read its content in order to understand it. You need to feel your feelings. Sadness is not bad. We try to avoid it, but it contains a powerful message. It can be that something is wrong, you are going against yourself, you have lost someone or something valuable for you... Sadness wants you to reflect on the situation, on what happened, on why you feel the way you feel. When you look at any emotion rising within you, look at it as a message directed to you. Allow the message to be delivered. Read it. Understand it. Feel it with all your senses and then let it go. You can only release the emotion when the work you had to do with it is done. Don't do it before but don't wait too long. All emotions work the same way. We tend to categorize them in good or bad emotions, but they are all the same. You don't need to choose your emotions, they do the work for you, and show up when it is necessary, without their presence being requested. You are wired to have feelings, but when you don't give them space to be, when you repress them, or when you reject them, they will keep coming to your inner home without hesitation or being invited, and at the worst moment. Emotions just want to be heard. Remember that it is ok to feel whatever you feel. Don't judge your feelings. A feeling is just a feeling. You decide its meaning in the way you understand and decode it. A feeling has to be analyzed in the moment that it appears in your life. You may become attached to feeling a certain way because it can be useful to attract attention, or to solve any other issue you may have. A feeling can be modified by deciding to feel in a different way, but you should not do this before you are ready. If you are grieving, grieve with all your being, if you fall in Love, do it totally and unconditionally, if you feel happy, enjoy it to the fullest, if you feel angry, feel it in your bones to be able to release it. When you feel, whatever life sends you, your existence becomes more interesting. Feel it! "Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what
you are doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you" Joel Osteen Love is a state of being. It is not something that comes from the outside. Love is not a feeling, it is who you are. Look deep inside of yourself and you will find it. Love is abundant. It comes from you and it flows outwards to everyone. Love resides in you and it is dormant, waiting until the moment you awaken it within you. All the Love of the world cannot make you feel loved, if you are not able to Love yourself. You won't be able to recognize true Love coming from others, if you don't feel it coming from yourself. Love yourself simply because you are. You don't need to change or to accomplish anything to Love yourself. You only need to be committed to it. You are lovable the way you are. Accept yourself, and have the certainty that you don't need to do anything to be loved by others. Don't seek for external approval. You don't need to act in a certain way to receive Love, or to behave like others say, or to please others. Love, true Love, is unconditional. Try to be the best version of yourself, but be always authentic. Be sure that you live in the world of Love; that Love guides and inspires you; that you act in a Loving way. Love is the energy that makes you feel alive. Love is the solution to any problem. Find the way to share your Love. Tell your loved ones how you much you Love them, and demonstrate it with your actions. Give hugs, smile more frequently, embrace, kiss, share your laughter every time you can, share your joy. Learn how to Love. Give Love, but don't lose yourself in the process. Learn how to show your affection without the need to control or possess, without expectations, without wanting anything in return, without being afraid of losing your loved one. Love because you want to Love. Enjoy the Love! “In your heart is all the love you need”
Don Miguel Ruiz Have you ever asked yourself what do I need to do change my Love life, to have happier and healthier relationships with others? Let me share with you that there is something very important you can do. It is to let go, to release and to forgive. You need to make room for the new to enter into your life, and this is a perfect moment to let go of the old. Let go of the pain, the betrayal, the grievance, the rejection, the abandonment, the loneliness, the sadness, the expectations, the resentment, the anger, the abuse, the arguments, the self-sacrifice, the pleasing others... Choose the words from the list that you can relate with, or make your own list. We forget, but we don't release or forgive. But let me explain you that everything that you have ever experienced is recorded. You may not be aware, but most of your reactions in life are based in beliefs, ideas or patterns that are not conscious, they were created at one moment in time during your childhood, in the way you were raised, or how you felt at school or with friends, the relationships that you stablished throughout your life, even your relationships at work contributed. All those experiences made you, but they are not who you are. Inside of yourself there is a beautiful being, one that shines with his own light and that is full of Love and ready to share it. All the experiences that you had around giving and receiving Love may have helped you to believe that Love and relationships are complicated. All the pain you suffered in so many different ways provoked the fear to showing who you really are, to being vulnerable and open to Love and to be loved fully. But there is a different way of Loving. There is a way to get a fresh start and it is to let go of all these experiences. You don't forget, delete or deny them, you just take their power away to continue ruling the way you establish or live your relationships. Remember the good moments, the Love that you felt in so many occasions when you authentically loved and felt loved. Then release, consciously, the pain and other emotions that are sabotaging your present and future relationships. From now on dedicate some minutes to ask yourself if anything needs to be changed or released. Don't look at others as the source of your pain, look at yourself like the source of every one of your experiences. Know that you have power to transform your Love life, right now. Make yourself ready to let go of the past, forgive those who you think that hurt you, not because of they deserve it, just do it for you. Make yourself free from the past to be able to create a new future. You only need your commitment to decide to release a feeling, to stop holding on a situation, or to forgive yourself. You only need to Love yourself enough to do it. Make your happiness a priority. Give yourself the opportunity to attract different partners, lovers, friends and colleagues. The kind of people who value you and respect you, who Love you for who you are. You can do it by start recognizing your own value, appreciating it, and learning how to respect yourself. Once you Love yourself no matter what, the people that will be in your life will Love you either. Prepare the way for a new kind of Love by letting go everything that is not serving you, that it is not true, that it is stopping you. Open yourself and your heart to Love. Love is not dangerous, when it is true Love. "Let today be the day you finally release yourself from the imprisonment of past grudges and anger. Simplify your life. Let go of the poisonous past and live the abundantly beautiful present... today"
Steve Maraboli The end of the year is here. Maybe you see your life passing year by year. And this one is almost finished. Humans live in a linear idea of time. There is a past, a present and a future. But life can only be lived in the present. You can only appreciate your life and all its moments if you are able to be there, with 100% of your energy involved. Think about the last time you were ‘in the moment’. If you have children and also work, your mind can be scattered between the tons of things you have to do for your family, appointments, clients, and you may feel that you cannot survive without multitasking. OOr maybe you carry your work home, your clients, the worry about finances, the multitude of emails to answer... Can you be present with all of these in your mind? Yes, you can. When the New Year starts, or right away if you want to, think differently about your life. See it as a collection of moments, all of them so precious, that you don’t want to miss any of them. It is like watching a very good movie without commercials. It is so good, that you don’t want to leave the room to go to the bathroom, because you don’t want to miss an important scene or dialogue. It is so interesting, that you cannot find a boring moment to disconnect from the movie. This is the movie of your life. Make it as interesting as any of the best movies you have seen. Where the main character takes any necessary risks to be happy, where they overcome any past hurt, where they face challenges as a hero and not as a victim. Be the protagonist of the movie, not the secondary actor or actress. You write the script, with every thought, word and action, with your energy. It is your life, and only you can make it worth living. Life is a process and it is also instantaneous change. One day your partner leaves you, and another day you find your Soul Mate, one day you get fired, and another day you get the job of your dreams. Time is passing... tic, tac, tic, tac. Can you hear the clock? You should not listen to it. Because the most wonderful secret of life is that time does not exist... it is a human conception. Everything is happening in a continuous now. Your essence is eternal. You have had so many lifetimes before, and you will have many more. Take the pressure off yourself, and live your life, and your New Year, to the fullest. "What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner"
Sidonie Gabrielle Colette Is your reality far away from what you really want? When did you stop going after your dreams? When did you give up on your hopes? If you are not living the life you want, take some time to reflect on what is important for you and invest all your energy on it. Everything is possible if you believe it is. Allow the Universe to help and guide you to achieve what you desire and is best for you. Maybe you had lots of dreams, and imagined a great life when you were young. Then life happened, and things did not turn out the way you expected. You are not in your twenties anymore, and you give a thought to your abandoned dreams and hopes from time to time, but you usually think that it is too late to make them happen; but it is not. Let me assure you that there is no excuse for not doing what you want, what makes you happy, alive, fulfilled and passionate. You should not allow yourself to live an unfulfilled life, a life without joy and purpose. Don't focus your attention on what is not working the way you want, invest all your energy and attention on what is important for you. Every minute counts. Don't wait any longer. Figure out what is the most important thing in your life right now and go for it. Don't procrastinate your happiness. Don't postpone what makes you feel alive. It does not make sense. The reason why you are on Earth is to figure out what makes you happy and do it. Contribute to everyone's happiness. Happiness is contagious. There is nothing more important than you, absolutely nothing. Your health, your wealth, your relationships, your career... your life, depend on understanding that you have to invest time and energy in finding out what is important for you, and in finding the way to enjoy it. It does not matter what you want for yourself and your life. You can have it all, but you have to believe that it is possible. This is the obstacle that most of us encounter in the path to manifesting our desires. We feel that we don't deserve the experiences, the Love, the money, the health, the job... that we want so madly. If you want, really want, to achieve something in your life, stop working hard toward it, believe that it is already yours, that you can have it. Invest time in figuring out what you are doing that is not working, what is not allowing you to have it, what is holding you back. Understand what is important for you and why it's not arriving to you easily and smoothly. When you discover what the cause is, and how you sabotage your own efforts, consciously or unconsciously, you will be able to change it, and ready to receive all you deserve. "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover"
Mark Twain When you are in a close relationship, it is very easy to lose yourself and to stop being who you are for the wellbeing of the relationship. One of the most difficult lessons in my life has been to learn to stand up for myself. I cannot remember how many times I gave myself up to avoid upsetting my partner or loved one. In the past, I asked my partner to fulfill my needs, to make me happy, or to solve my problems, when I was not able to do it for myself. I played the role of a victim, because I did not Love myself. True independence is achieved when you are able to maintain your sense of self while you are in a relationship. I know it now, and I believe that it is what you need to establish happy, long lasting, and healthy relationships. It can be easy to establish a relationship with someone with whom you feel so connected that you just want to be one with this person. You love each other so much and want to be together all the time. This happens when you fall in Love, at the early stage of a relationship. But relationships evolve, change and transform, and if you don't allow the relationship to move forward, you create dependence, co-dependence. Then, in the name of Love, you start living your life the way the other person wants; in order to maintain the relationship, you give up the necessary space to continue growing and become who you truly are. One of the most common fears that I see in single people nowadays, is the fear or losing their independence if they establish a committed relationship. It can be totally unconscious. If you have it, this fear can sabotage all efforts to find the right partner, and complicate any potential relationship you may start. This fear comes from the idea that commitment equals sacrifice. It is based on the belief that a serious relationship with another being who will accept you the way you are, and who will not ask you to change or try to control you, is not possible, or that this person does not exist. In order to become truly independent you need to learn to Love yourself. You have to be true to yourself, and to accept yourself the way you are, learn how to set up healthy boundaries, and to say no when necessary. When you know who you are, you can Love yourself no matter what. This kind of Love, unconditional Love for yourself, is what will allow you to Love others the same way, and to have an attitude of independence in your relationships, while enjoying a close union. Remember that we learn valuable lessons through the relationships that we are in. Every interaction with another being is an opportunity to learn something about yourself, to learn how to Love and be loved. "Life cannot be without relationship, but we have made it so aganizing and hideous by basing it on personal and possesive love. Can one love and yet not possess? You will find the true answere not in escape, ideals, beliefs but through the understanding of the causes of dependence and possessivenes" - Jiddu Krishnamurti
Have you ever asked yourself what do I need to do change my Love life, to have happier and healthier relationships with others? Let me share with you that there is something very important you can do. It is to let go, to release and to forgive. You need to make room for the new to enter into your life, and this is a perfect moment to let go of the old. Let go of the pain, the betrayal, the grievance, the rejection, the abandonment, the loneliness, the sadness, the expectations, the resentment, the anger, the abuse, the arguments, the self-sacrifice, the pleasing others... Choose the words from the list that you can relate with, or make your own list. We forget, but we don't release or forgive. But let me explain you that everything that you have ever experienced is recorded. You may not be aware, but most of your reactions in life are based in beliefs, ideas or patterns that are not conscious, they were created at one moment in time during your childhood, in the way you were raised, or how you felt at school or with friends, the relationships that you stablished throughout your life, even your relationships at work contributed. All those experiences made you, but they are not who you are. Inside of yourself there is a beautiful being, one that shines with his own light and that is full of Love and ready to share it. All the experiences that you had around giving and receiving Love may have helped you to believe that Love and relationships are complicated. All the pain you suffered in so many different ways provoked the fear to showing who you really are, to being vulnerable and open to Love and to be loved fully. But there is a different way of Loving. There is a way to get a fresh start and it is to let go of all these experiences. You don't forget, delete or deny them, you just take their power away to continue ruling the way you establish or live your relationships. Remember the good moments, the Love that you felt in so many occasions when you authentically loved and felt loved. Then release, consciously, the pain and other emotions that are sabotaging your present and future relationships. From now on dedicate some minutes to ask yourself if anything needs to be changed or released. Don't look at others as the source of your pain, look at yourself like the source of every one of your experiences. Know that you have power to transform your Love life, right now. Make yourself ready to let go of the past, forgive those who you think that hurt you, not because of they deserve it, just do it for you. Make yourself free from the past to be able to create a new future. You only need your commitment to decide to release a feeling, to stop holding on a situation, or to forgive yourself. You only need to Love yourself enough to do it. Make your happiness a priority. Give yourself the opportunity to attract different partners, lovers, friends and colleagues. The kind of people who value you and respect you, who Love you for who you are. You can do it by start recognizing your own value, appreciating it, and learning how to respect yourself. Once you Love yourself no matter what, the people that will be in your life will Love you either. Prepare the way for a new kind of Love by letting go everything that is not serving you, that it is not true, that it is stopping you. Open yourself and your heart to Love. Love is not dangerous, when it is true Love. "Let today be the day you finally release yourself from the imprisonment of past
grudges and anger. Simplify your life. Let go of the poisonous past and live the abundantly beautiful present... today" Steve Maraboli You are worthy of everything, you only need to believe it. Your world will transform if you realize that your worthiness is not something you have to earn, it is your birthright. Only if you Love yourself enough, you will see your own value. Others cannot recognize your worth, or give it to you, unless you establish it first. The key to create the life you desire is not to go after it and work even harder to get your goals. It is to change the way you feel about yourself and your life. Your worthiness doesn't come from what others think of you, it is based on the opinion you have about yourself. Love yourself no matter what, see how amazing you are, believe in yourself, and expect the best coming to you. You are worthy of a wonderful relationship where you can share your Love with someone you deeply Love, who values you for who you are and accepts you unconditionally. You can have an amazing bond of true Love that will enhance your life beyond measure. You deserve the best partner, your Soul Mate if it is what you want. You can share your life with someone for whom you are a priority, a partner with whom you will build a life full of happiness and fulfillment. Never stop believing in Love. Become the kind of person you want to share your life with, then the perfect partner will find you. This kind of Love is real and it is waiting for you. Don't remain in a relationship if you are not receiving the Love that you deserve. See yourself as worthy of abundance. You deserve it. Allow yourself to experience abundance in all ways. Abundance is already within you. We go after the abundance thinking that it is around us and we need to attract it, but you will be in abundance only if you allow yourself to be it. When you don't believe that you can get a certain amount of money as a salary or benefit, a certain style of life, or partner, you make an agreement with yourself to not have access to it. You set a limit in your life saying that any of those things cannot happen to you. Maybe you don't realize that you are sabotaging what you most want in your life, by not allowing yourself to receive it. There are so many reasons why you might not feel worthy of something or someone. It can be a belief, conscious or unconscious, or an agreement with yourself or others, or even fear with its different faces. Take a look inside of yourself and observe your thoughts. What is limiting you can be something you believe about yourself, something that you learnt from others, or that was said by a person you loved or admired, or maybe something that is no longer true but you still accept it. What is your opinion about yourself and your life? Ask yourself if your past, your story, or your background is determining your future. Do you believe in dreams? Have you ever allowed yourself to imagine a life different than the one you have? I encourage yourself to do it. You are worthy of everything you allow yourself to have. Reclaim your worthiness! "Self-worth comes from one thing - thinking that you are worthy"
Wayne Dyer You deserve to enjoy a happy relationship. We all want to experience that magic Love that brings so much happiness, to fall in Love deeply and madly. I am sure you want to share your life with a partner that is there for you, that supports you no matter what, and that helps you to be a better person every day because of the Love you share. But we don't seem to be able to find or to create this happy and healthy Love. What we call Love creates so much suffering and drama, so many power struggles, when what we expect from it is joy and happiness. Sharing your life with a partner with whom you are connected at a soul level can enrich your life beyond measure, but relationships are never perfect. Relationships are the way we learn how to Love and be loved. Our conscious and unconscious patterns are at play when we interact with our loved ones, and especially when we establish a new relationship. It is important to take a look at our dynamics in relationships and to identify our beliefs and patterns. They are the key. They will keep repeating in relationship after relationship until we heal them. The universe will keep granting us opportunities to learn our lessons until we do. The secret of success for your relationships is not to find the "right partner"; it is to be the right partner. When you know yourself and invest time and effort in loving yourself unconditionally, your relationships improve unbelievably. If you want to establish a healthy relationship, it has to start with the relationship that you have with yourself. Don't look at others as the guilty ones. Don't project onto others what it is within you. Take responsibility in your relationships. Make them work. Love always finds a way, if it is true Love. If have suffered for Love, don't give up on Love. True Love doesn't hurt, but relationships may not work. Never forget that you are a complete individual full of Love to share. If you have not found the right partner yet, there can be certain reasons why and one of the most common is that, without you being aware of it, you are not allowing it to happen. What can be holding you back may be a fear of commitment, of suffering again, of being abandoned, the sensation that you are not good enough, or the belief that Love is too complicated... but it is always a story from your past, that is spoiling your present and your future. If you want to be in a happy and healthy relationship, you need to let go, release, forgive, and heal whatever is not allowing you to Love freely and unconditionally. Give yourself the opportunity to create a different Love story. Stop living again and again the same events with different partners, fighting for the same issues, and being in relationships where what you get is not Love. Love yourself enough to let go of a relationship if someone mistreats you, does not value you, or does not allow you to be yourself. You deserve a partner that encourages you to go after your dreams, and that allows you to be who you are. You deserve the opportunity to do the same for your partner. Learn how to Love yourself and others. It will be the best investment of your life and it will bring you so much joy. Love is who you are. "The more connections you and your lover make, not just between your bodies,
but between your minds, your hearts, and your souls, the more you will strengthen the fabric of your relationship, and the more real moments you will experience together" Barbara de Angelis Love yourself enough to act on your own interest, to make yourself and your happiness a priority. Be your best friend, empower and encourage yourself. Believe in yourself. There is no one like you and there will never be. You have a unique way of being. You are limitless. Rely in your capabilities to create the life you want. You are in the path of Love, to learn how to Love and how to be loved and it all starts with the Love for yourself. Open your heart. Love yourself enough to stop criticizing and judging yourself whenever things don't go the way you want, of when you feel you failed. Don't go against yourself for any reason or under any circumstance. Learn how to be more compassionate, understanding and kind with yourself, to be able to accept yourself totally. Develop self-forgiveness. Understand that you don't need to be perfect to Love yourself. You deserve your own Love. Love yourself enough to choose the relationships that exemplify that Love. Learn how to set up boundaries and express your needs. Respect and honor yourself, and ask others to treat you the same way. Love without abandoning yourself in any relationship or stopping being yourself. Never pretend to please others, or lie to be accepted. Know when and how to say no; do it without feeling guilty, as is your right. Love yourself enough to be authentically you, without any masks. Invest time in knowing yourself and your gifts, and appreciate them. Spend time with yourself. Let go of the expectations of others about your life. Love unconditionally, both yourself and others, not expecting to get anything in return. Learn to Love without a reason. Don't change, adapt excessively, or make yourself small in order to receive Love. You are lovable the way you are. Love yourself enough to understand that you are never alone because you are always in the best possible company: your own. Understand that the most important relationship that you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. Don't be afraid to lose Love; when you understand that it infuses your very self, and that you can generate it, you share it without limits and it comes back to you. Love yourself enough to know that with the power of your own Self-Love you can overcome any difficulty or challenge in life. Choose who you want to be. Trust yourself and your decisions. Live your life with passion. Enjoy every moment of it. Explore it. Expand your horizons. Go after your dreams. Never forget your passions. Find the time to be you and to enjoy it. Let the little child that you still have inside of you go out and play. Connect with yourself and dedicate your life to what is really important: Love. “No matter how much we give Love, if we don’t give it to ourselves
nobody can Love us enough” Louise Hay Love is a state of being. It is not something that comes from the outside. Love is not a feeling, it is who you are. Look deep inside of yourself and you will find it. Love is abundant. It comes from you and it flows outwards to everyone. Love resides in you and it is dormant, waiting until the moment you awaken it within you. All the Love of the world cannot make you feel loved, if you are not able to Love yourself. You won't be able to recognize true Love coming from others, if you don't feel it coming from yourself. Love yourself simply because you are. You don't need to change or to accomplish anything to Love yourself. You only need to be committed to it. You are lovable the way you are. Accept yourself, and have the certainty that you don't need to do anything to be loved by others. Don't seek for external approval. You don't need to act in a certain way to receive Love, or to behave like others say, or to please others. Love, true Love, is unconditional. Try to be the best version of yourself, but be always authentic. Be sure that you live in the world of Love; that Love guides and inspires you; that you act in a Loving way. Love is the energy that makes you feel alive. Love is the solution to any problem. Find the way to share your Love. Tell your loved ones how you much you Love them, and demonstrate it with your actions. Give hugs, smile more frequently, embrace, kiss, share your laughter every time you can, share your joy. Learn how to Love. Give Love, but don't lose yourself in the process. Learn how to show your affection without the need to control or possess, without expectations, without wanting anything in return, without being afraid of losing your loved one. Love because you want to Love. Enjoy the Love! “In your heart is all the love you need”
Don Miguel Ruiz All of us have our own idea about what is Love and how we want to be loved. You have your own expectations about how your loved ones have to behave and how they have to demonstrate their Love to you. You may think that Love is conditional and that it depends on what others do or don't do for you, but let me tell you that there is a different kind of Love, true Love. Let go of your expectations about what your relationships should be and what will you receive. When you Love, give your Love freely, don't expect anything in return. Don't ask for Love, give it and it will come back to you multiplied. You are a source of Love, the Love starts within you, and it is abundant. Your happiness doesn't depend on the Love you receive from others, it is connected with the way you Love yourself and others. Don't be disappointed because of the behavior of those you Love. Accept them the way they are, don't ask them to change. Don't control them or their Love. Don't measure the quantity of Love you receive, Love others without expecting a determined outcome, just Love, and Love unconditionally. To be able to Love without conditions and expectations, you need to Love yourself the same way. If you are non-judgmental with yourself, you will be able to be the same way with others. If you can forgive yourself for whatever happens in your life, it will be easier for you to forgive others. You can Love madly, passionately and with all your heart, but you need to start with yourself. What you miss in a relationship is sometimes what you are not able to give to yourself. If you want more attention, or proofs of Love, ask yourself if you are giving it to yourself. If you cannot trust your partner, think if you are self-confident enough and if you trust yourself. If you are afraid of losing the Love of others, see if there is fear of abandonment in yourself. Sometimes, we ask others to behave in a certain way when we cannot do it, or when there is an unresolved issue that needs our attention. There are so many ways of relating to one to another. We all seek Love, consciously or unconsciously, but our ideas about what Love is and our expectations can be different. You have learned what Love is through the relationships you have established, from what you watched in the media, what others shared with you, and also from the relationship your parents had between them and with you, and the way you were raised. Your idea about what Love is will also depend on your nature, the way you are, and how much you value and Love yourself. There is one Love, but so many ways of loving. Drop your expectations about how to be loved and about how Love should make you feel. Live your Love! “True love begins when nothing is looked for in return”
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry Nobody can make you feel anger, sadness, guilt, or any other emotion. You are responsible for what you feel. It comes from you. It has been created within you. You are feeling it because something within you needs to be understood, changed or healed. Other people can act in a way that triggers certain feelings in you, but you can choose how to react to their words or actions. You always have a choice. The feelings and emotions that you experience try to connect you with what you need to pay attention to. If there is sadness within you, it will be triggered by situations that will make this sadness present. It might be easier to blame others for what you feel, but it is not possible for them to create emotions in you. You are the only one responsible for how you choose to feel at any given moment. Others cannot create your reality, only you can. Embrace the emotions you feel, and try to understand why you are feeling them. Don't ignore them; they won't disappear. Don't deny them; you will miss a great opportunity to learn something about yourself. Don't try to control them, because they will show up again when you least expect them to. Emotions are just energy in motion. They are neither good nor bad. They are there to initiate a dialogue with you. When having a recurrent feeling you should ask yourself: How do I feel? Why I am feeling this way? What is this feeling trying to tell me? When you try to understand your emotions, go to their roots. What you are feeling can be a defense mechanism that you have been using, or an unconscious pattern of behavior that makes you react in a certain way to control others, get their Love, or manipulate them. It might also be something that is not serving you anymore, but that you continue doing because reacting this way is a habit. Look at what triggered the emotion, and you will have your answer about what you need to understand or heal. Discover the thoughts or belief systems associated to your reactions, and you will be able to challenge them. Every time you are able to respond, and consciously decide what you want to feel, instead of reacting and allowing emotions to take over, you gain power. This power will allow you to create happiness and inner joy, and to make them last. It will help you to be at peace with yourself, and free of inner contradictions and unresolved issues. Taking responsibility for your emotions will allow you to decide how you want to live your life, and to realize that you are the creator of your life experience. “Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that
you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond that pain” Kahlil Gibran Do you think that it is hard to find Love? Stop trying to find it and allow Love to find you. It may seem a weird approach. You may be wondering how is going Love to find me if I don’t go after it? Let me tell you the secret: You need to become a Love magnet. Your Soul Mate is out there waiting for you. What you need to do is to prepare yourself for the encounter, and to Love yourself is the key to your success. When you Love yourself no matter what, you have certain qualities that make you magnetic. Love is a powerful energy that can be detected immediately by others. You don’t need to ask for Love, to go after it, to search it desperately, because Love is already inside of you. Searching for Love might be the reason why you are not finding it. If you Love yourself, you will feel self-confident, you will know which is the best relationship for you, how to express your needs, how to set boundaries, and how to share the Love you already have. If you want to be with the Love of your life, you need to become it. Work on yourself. Be sure that your heart is open for Love. Are you really ready to meet your Soul Mate? Sometimes, after a break up or a painful divorce, we make an agreement with ourselves to avoid Love and relationships in order to not put our heart at risk again. If you have closed your heart to protect yourself, you won’t allow Love to enter. Love won’t be able to reach you. You also need to complete your past and let go of any disappointment, pain, or anger that you still have due to past relationships. Love never hurts. Relationships may end, but Love is eternal. True Love exists. Release the feelings of loneliness, and focus on appreciating yourself and your life. Only when you feel ready to Love, and have healed the past, you will be sending the right energy out, Love energy. Then, your Soul Mate will easily find the path towards you. Love will find you when you least expect it, when you are happier with your life and enjoying it to the fullest, when you are your best friend, and have healed any wounds from the past. You need to believe in Love to find it, you cannot be afraid of it, of not having it, or of losing it when you do find it. Learn how to Love unconditionally, starting with yourself, and your Love life will be transformed in a way you cannot even imagine. Dream awake and asleep about the wonderful Love that is coming into your life. If you can visualize it, and live as if it is happening, it is already true. You don’t know when your Soul Mate will appear in front of your eyes, or how the encounter will happen, but you need to have a clear idea of what you desire, and how are you going to feel, when your dream becomes true. Keep your desire alive and allow Love to find you. You are meant to be with an extraordinary being. They will accept and Love you. They will help you manifest the best in you. You are lovable and deserve to experience the most extraordinary Love. Believe it. Love is your destiny. "You have forgotten how lovable you are, and it's this forgetting that's causing you to search for love and not find it" Robert Holden Relationships may end, but Love is eternal. Love is the force that connects us with our loved ones through lifetimes. The bond between us may have changed, but the Love that we felt for each other will never disappear, and will always keep us connected. Every relationship that we establish has a purpose. It might be short or long. It doesn't matter. What is important is to recognize that from a soul perspective, we are in a relationship to learn how to Love and how to be loved, to grow, and to develop our potential. The feeling of unpleasantness that we might feel when we are in a relationship of any kind, is an invitation to transform ourselves, to look deep inside and find out what is triggered in us. We don't need to change the other person or the relationship. What we need, is to pay attention to our reactions and emotions, and to figure out where they come from. We can heal ourselves by doing this. The healing will be done when we will be in the same situation again, but our buttons won't be pushed, and nothing will be triggered. Relationships provide the opportunity to work on our soul's purpose in this incarnation. None of your relationships with lifetime partners, teachers, family members, colleagues, bosses, or even neighbors, are exempt of the creation of karma, or the understanding of it. Love is the force that helps us to go through it. We are on earth to experience our karma, learn our lessons, and to continue our evolution. If two people have been married for 15 years and have evolved differently at a conscious level, from a soul perspective, one may be holding back the other in terms of growth. The relationship has lost its purpose, and the couple, eventually, will decide to separate or divorce. Their different vibration will make it happen. By being in a relationship that has lost its purpose, both are losing the opportunity to be happy in the right relationship, denying themselves the opportunity to grow and change. We become attached to the life we have, we might be too afraid of losing someone or something that we have been building for years, or to break a family or a relationship. But our soul, deep inside of us, knows that it is time for a different relationship, for a different kind of Love. Even Soul Mates cannot be together lifetime after lifetime. They need to evolve, even if it implies to part ways. Soul Mates have a bond of unconditional Love to support each other. They establish agreements before they reincarnate. But when one Soul Mate becomes too attached to the other, the other will perhaps leave the relationship, break up, or even die, to provide a lesson of detachment. The pacts that we establish with other souls in the period between lives, before we reincarnate, may change while we live our life. One soul may be busy learning other lessons, or stuck, and then another soul will help us out. We are all interconnected. We establish relationships, and live experiences, that will help us understand karmic issues that we need to solve, how to grow and evolve, and how to provide the same opportunity to others. We have more than one Soul Mate and souls that belong to our soul family, who will be there to support us in anything we need, and to assure us that we are never alone. "Karma shows itself in relationships. The people you meet, the expectations you have, the circumstances in which you relate, the kind of marriage or other association that you find yourself in, all reflect previous liaisons. You are the sum total of all your experiences, and much it will come about through relationships"
Judy Hall We are born with the capability to Love and to be loved. Why does it become complicated to share our Love and establish relationships as adults? A child is a being full of Love. He knows perfectly how to express it. He is sharing it all the time. He knows what true Love is. It seems that when we grow up we become afraid of loving. It became so important for us to be accepted, to not be rejected that we will do everything in our hands to get the Love we want. At that moment, we start searching for Love outside of ourselves. A lot of people think that they will start to Love when they find the right person. But the process works in exactly the opposite way. When they start to Love they will find the right person to share their Love with. It seems to be a matter of chance to be lucky enough to find someone to Love, but it is not. Be Love, surround yourself with it, and you will attract Love into your life. The idea that we have about Love has been created by the influences that we have received during our whole life: the relationship of our parents, the religious group we belong to, our school, our friends, the films we watched and the stories others told us. Our first experiences in romantic relationships will also contribute to our idea about what Love is and how we have to feel in a relationship. Everybody talks about Love or the absence of it but, what is True Love? We have a lot of expectations when we establish a relationship. Nobody told us that to Love someone is to accept them the way they are. We create an internal image of what the relationship has to be, and when our expectations are not fulfilled, we blame the other person. We try to control the behavior of our partner because we don’t like it. The relationship becomes a war to see who gets control over the other. True Love doesn’t have expectations. We cannot share what we don’t have. The question is do you Love yourself? Or saying it in a different way, do you accept yourself the way you are? How are you going to accept others if you are not able to do it with yourself? Learn to Love yourself and then you will be able to share your Love with others. You cannot ask others to Love you if you are not able to do it. True Love starts with Self-Love. True Love accepts the other as she is. We want the other to make us happy, to complete us. How can we put our happiness in his/her hands? Happiness is a feeling that comes from inside of us. It is the result of Love coming out of you. The only one that can provide you with happiness is yourself. When we don’t get what we want in a relationship, we start judging our partner. We judge him/her for what he does and for what he doesn’t do. He is not fitting into our idea of the way he or she has to behave in a relationship and we don’t accept it. We are not able to change it and we feel unhappy as a consequence. Real Love does not judge. Are we able to do that with the person we are sharing our life with? Can we stop judging and start accepting? True Love doesn’t judge. True Love does not have expectations. It accepts everything that is given and is grateful for it. Real Love does not have obligations. It is Love without a reason. We Love because we want to. We don’t need a reason or to justify it. It does not expect anything in return. If I Love unconditionally, I don’t feel hurt because of the quantity of Love I am receiving from my partner. True Love respects and does not try to control or manipulate. Love forgives. Love is generous. Love is kind. “For true love is inexhaustible; the more you give, the more you have. And if you go to draw at the true fountainhead, the more water you draw, the more abundant is its flow”
Antoine de Saint-Exupery |
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Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want. Archives
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