It is important to be loving with oneself. During a period of my life I was so hard on myself; I judged myself and my life constantly. The result of it wasn't good. Maybe you also do it in a certain way, and you tell yourself that you point out these things in order to improve your life and yourself. But what you really do is to torture yourself. We do it because we don't know how to Love and accept who we are. You can only change yourself doing it in a loving way, accepting who you are now, and planting new seeds to become who you want to be.
I would like to invite you to reflect on all the good things that you have done in your life and all the good moments you experienced. Picture yourself in these situations. Feel the joy and the satisfaction of being you in those moments. Live in a state of appreciation for what you have, for who you are. Don't complain, don't try to change yourself and your reality, just accept it. Stop fighting against yourself!
Being you could be difficult at certain moments. I am not going to deny that life can be hard and bring you undesired situations and life changes. Living your life can mean to be stuck or confused, not knowing what your next step should be and, it is especially in those moments, when you really need yourself at your side. Nobody can Love and understand yourself the way you can.
Being you is an art that only you can master. Celebrate your uniqueness instead of criticizing yourself for what you are not, or have not accomplished. To be you, you need to accept yourself the way you are, with an open heart and lots of compassion and understanding. Maybe you have to rediscover yourself after recognizing that instead of being authentically yourself, you have become someone else.
Don't go back into the past to look for all the mistakes and flaws you believe you made. What if in the big scheme of things everything that had happened to you makes sense, and the only reason you had all the experiences was for learning how to Love yourself unconditionally in every occasion and under any circumstance.
Don't worry about what the future will bring to you, and don't play small to protect yourself. Live your life as it comes, and trust that you will have what is needed at every moment. The power is within you. You are here on a special mission that only you can accomplish: to be authentically yourself.
"If you are happy, you can give happiness. If you don't love
yourself and if you are unhappy with yourself, you can't give
anything else but that"
I invite you to try, even if it is your goal only for one day, not to expect any result from your actions or the events you experience during these hours. Just accept whatever is arriving into your life. Focus your attention on being totally present with what is happening, with what is. Change the habit of expecting an outcome, good or bad, just be there and observe. Go with the flow.
Don't consider anything as positive or negative; don't create a future scenario with the power of your expectations. Your life path is not mapped out. You are the master of your destiny. You have a free will and the power to transform your life. But you won't see other possibilities unless you allow yourself to be helped by the higher power. Do you know why? Because when you expect something to happen, exactly in that moment, you are sending a message to the Universe.
The Universe is always working on making your desires real. Be aware of what you expect, because when you imagine that something will go wrong you, energetically, are making your expectations real. Be mindful not only of your desire; be also mindful of your expectations of what you don't want to happen to you. After you ask for a new job, more clients, the approval of your project, or meeting your Soul Mate, watch your thoughts and your energy.
Be sure that you rely on yourself and in the power of the Universe to bring you what you desire. It is not necessary that you tell the Universe how to deliver what you have asked for or when. Everything will happen within a divine timing. The higher power will figure out how you will get what you desire and when it the best moment for you to receive it.
You have to be sure you have faith and to feel that is already happening. Be clear in your mind. Feel confident. You deserve what you desire. Be in no doubt of it. You need be sure that you don't cancel your order to the Universe with your fears, doubts and negative expectations. Keep your desires alive and don't expect. Whatever you want and ask for is already happening. Allow yourself to receive it.
"We are mindful of desire when we experience it with an embodied awareness, recognizing the sensations and thoughts of wanting and arising and passing phenomena. While this isn't easy; as we cultivate
the clear seeing and compassion of Radical Acceptance, we discover we can open fully to
this natural force, and remain free in its midst"
How difficult it is to do nothing. We are so used to going from task to errand, from work to home chores, from `must do things' to `chosen activities', but all is about doing, achieving, accomplishing. Have you ever made an appointment with yourself to do nothing? Do you know how to just be? Maybe you consider life too precious to waste it doing nothing, but let me remind you that doing is not living.
Being allows you to connect with the world, to re-connect with yourself, to feel alive, to charge batteries, to pause and rethink, to reconsider, or to observe with perspective. Nothing has to be done to achieve all these things. You only need to allow them to happen. By taking a pause from your daily activities, you will send a note to your higher self, saying that you are available, and it will start talking to you.
You will only be able to listen to the wisdom of your heart doing nothing, in silence, still, in meditation or a meditative state... when you pause. This voice whispers, and it talks in so many different ways to you. For a lot of people, being in silence seems to be as difficult as doing nothing. We feel uncomfortable in the presence of silence. We feel an immediate need to fill it with any word, even if it is not important.
The problem we have is that in silence and doing nothing, we have to listen to our inner voice. Unless you have cultivated a good relationship with yourself, this voice is usually very critical, judgmental, and not compassionate. It does not forget any of your mistakes or faults, and does not hesitate to remind you of all that is not working in your life.
The real reason we don't spend more time in silence, relaxing, being present in our lives is that we want to distract ourselves. We multitask, we live in several places at the same time. We spend more time looking at what others do or say in the media, or social media, than looking at ourselves and our lives.
To do inner work is not really an option if you want to grow in happiness, Love, and abundance. Let me tell you the secret of success in life: Love yourself and others passionately, unconditionally, without limits. Love is the key to your happiness and success and will allow you to enjoy the most wonderful life you can ever imagine, and the way to self-Love begins in silently and gently listening to yourself, doing nothing. I Love You!
"Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn"
When things are not working the way you want, don't wait to take action. Every breath you take is a new breath, a new life, a new opportunity. We have the sensation that we need to wait until tomorrow, Monday or next month to change our lives. But your life can change now, in this exact moment. The only thing you need is to start moving in the direction you want it to go. All that is required is your intention. Where your energy goes is where you will see the changes. You don't need to produce them, just to allow them to happen.
The human mind is limited. We can see until a certain point in our lives. Not even with our best level of imagination, would we be able to create a plan as extraordinary as the one the Universe has ready for us. Your life is transformed each minute. I don't want to put pressure on you. This is not my intention. But let me ask you, until when are you going to continue living in an unsatisfactory way, being in a relationship you don't want, or doing the unfulfilling or unpaid job you are in? What needs to happen for you to take a baby step that demonstrates to the Universe that you are ready to change?
Everything is possible, you are limitless, you can do it... We use all these phrases, but do we believe in them? The problem is that sometimes we want impossible things, things that are not good for us, things that will require changes in our lives. We blame ourselves, our lives, and the Universe, for not bringing what we desire but we don't realize the consequences of what are we asking for, or we do it without a pinch of conviction, sitting on the sofa with a remote in our hand as a magic wand.
The Universe is waiting for your order. Dance with the Universe, allow it to help you arrive to the best place for you, to give you all you desire, to be balanced and whole, to have well-being and an amazing Love life. Ask yourself, "What can I do to achieve these things?" Is there anything that comes to your mind right now? If you came up with a simple idea, put it into practice now!
You don't need to do everything today, to solve all your challenges in this moment, or to start taking action in every area of your life. Just choose one thing, the most important right now. It does not have to be big or challenging, but it has to be important enough for you to commit to it. Don't wait any longer to get a fresh start.
"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers.
You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life;
and the procedure, the process is its own reward"
All of us feel, we feel all the time. The variety of feelings we experience is immense and unique for each of us. From Love and content, to rage and sadness, our feelings are like a radar that helps us navigate into the unknown. We take feelings for granted, and we act on them without paying much attention.
Every feeling you experience can be connected with an act. You feel sad and you cry, or you feel angry and you scream at others. This may be automatic, but if you really pay attention to your thoughts and emotions, you will understand the root cause of your feelings, and you will be able to choose how you want to respond to what are you feeling.
Your feelings are yours, only yours. Nobody or anything can make you feel bad or put you down, except if you give this person or event the power to do it. Nobody can hurt you. It is not possible, it is just an illusion. You might be reacting to someone's actions, but you have the power to choose how you want to respond, instead of reacting directly to someone that is pushing your buttons, or activating something within you.
All of us have unresolved issues, things that we experienced in the past and that were never understood or processed. These issues are still there, waiting for the right occasion to make themselves visible. Sometimes this happens at the least appropriate moment. We can learn from what we have lived and overcome it. We can forgive, let go of the pain, the resentment, or the anger against someone or something that happened a long time ago, or yesterday.
I invite you to go to the center of your heart, to this place within where all is stored, and to let go of everything that is not allowing you to live a happy life now. I want you to know that you have the capability to express your feelings, and that it is ok to feel what you feel. I want to empower you to relate with others authentically. This will require you to express what you feel without limiting yourself, or avoiding expressing your feelings so as not to hurt others or be hurt by others.
Stop going through life shutting up every time you feel it is necessary. You can say what you want to say with Love, politely, in a calm way, but you need to express it. Feel your feelings and find the courage to express them. It does not matter if you want to say I Love you, or I cannot be with you. Both feelings need to be expressed. Say what you feel!
"Expressing my feelings and then the opportunity to share it with
others is just such a gift"
Every morning you have a choice to make: do you want to experience a great day? It is a daily decision because it depends on you. Your intention is the most important factor when you decide how your day will be. Your happiness is totally in your hands and you shouldn't give it away depending on the events that you experience during your day. You have the power to overcome whatever happens to you, if you believe so.
The first thing you need to ask yourself when you get up is how you will make yourself happy today. Plan the day, but don't get attached to any specific result. Your expectations can get you in trouble. If you can only accept one result, it will be more difficult for your day to work out the way you want. Anything that goes out of the plan or schedule you have will take upset your balance and ruin your day. If instead you go with the flow, are present, and take things one step at a time, without worrying about what can happen, your will create a magnificent day.
Focus on what is important, in your attitude, in your energy, in what depends on you. Be sure that what you bring to the world is your best, even when things look difficult or unpleasant. We tend to give our peace away when something goes wrong. We switch to anger, fear, frustration, disappointment or any other emotion. It is perfectly normal to react in a concrete situation, but remember that you can also respond to it the way you want.
To respond implies that you can choose, that you decide in every moment what you think and how you want to feel. Listen to your emotions, but don't allow them to take you over. Don't lose your personal power. It is always with you, independent of external circumstances. Rely on yourself and in your capability to create a life that works for you. When you can imagine a satisfying way of living, you can achieve it. If you believe that you have options and opportunities you will find them along the way.
Whatever you believe will be true. Your imagination is so powerful, and it turns all that you create with it into reality. Use it wisely. Imagine what you want to happen to you. Visualize your desired outcome and you will make it real. It is important to desire, but also to be detached and to understand that things happen within a divine timing. If you believe that something can be yours, you are opening yourself to receive it. From now on, create your day; imagine yourself at ease, flowing, and everything working out. Decide to be joyful.
"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself; I, not events, have
the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which
it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have
just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it"
In the world we live is more necessary than ever to find a way to connect with ourselves. We are always doing, rushing, stressed, and feeling the weight of the world on our shoulders. It is important to find a way to recharge the batteries of your body, mind, and soul.
Find a daily practice that helps you stop the noise in your mind, the worry or fear. Figure out something that helps you to let go of the limitations and the pressure. You need an inner sanctuary. It is not a physical place; it is more a place inside of you where only you have access, your place. It is a place to relax, to unwind, an imaginary site where you can stop, relax, and find true peace.
People find relaxation through meditation, breathing exercises, the sounds of nature, watching the sun rise, sitting on the beach and listening to the sound of the waves, receiving a massage, or doing exercise. But the place I am describing can be accessed at any time. It should not require a lot of time for you to get there, or a special practice.
What I am suggesting is more of a pause, anytime you feel the need, to return home, a place to reconnect with who you are, with the eternal part of you, the one that is not limited by external circumstances. Try to pause during the day, and allow yourself to be centered and balanced again. Be sure you are in a meditative state throughout your day, not only when you have the time to do one of the activities that help you unwind or let go of stress.
Love is a pathway to arrive to this place. Love is the energy that connects all of us and that will allow you to connect with yourself. When you have a bad day, or feel sad, your mood changes in the presence of someone you really Love. The energy of Love is contagious. But you cannot rely on others to change your state of mind, or to solve your problems. Remember that Love is always there, within you.
You are Love and you always have access to Love. If you are having difficulties, if things don't look good, if you are facing problems and don't know how to solve them, go home. Go to this place that I have described, you will feel safe there. It is a space where you are supported, healed and guided. There you can have access to your higher self, a self that is connected with the Universe and with all that exists. There you will find solutions, answers and lots of Love.
"Love and peace of mind do protect us. They allow us to overcome the
problems that life hands us. They teach us to survive... to live now...
to have the courage to confront each day"
You were born free. You have the power to choose. You have options. You have the power to choose how to be, how to act, what to do with your life. You might be following certain rules, religious beliefs, educational patterns, or cultural ways of being, but at any moment, you can choose to change them and to create a new set of rules to live a happier life, a more fulfilled one. No one can dictate how you have live your life. It is entirely your decision. Everything in your life will change when you take responsibility of who you are, and start asking yourself questions about the way you really see life and want to live it.
It may seem to you that your life is decided for you, but not by you. You may think that the country where you were born, or the socioeconomic status of your parents, have influenced your life to a point where you will never be able to achieve what others already have. Maybe you think that your genes or the color of your skin determines the life you can have. Perhaps you believe that your childhood, the way you were raised, the lack of Love you experienced while you were a child will affect your life forever. Or you have arrived to the conclusion that your divorce, or the bankruptcy, or any other situation where you feel you failed, are signs that you are not good enough. This is not true!
You were born with certain life circumstances, but they are not you. You are much more powerful than you imagine. You cannot change past events, but you can change the way you are now, and build a totally different present and future. You do it with the power of your intention, your thoughts and your imagination, with the passion and commitment to become the best version of yourself, with the power of self-forgiveness, and by letting go what stops you from being authentically you. You are free to choose, every day, and every second of each day. You don't need to change your life circumstances. You only need to look at them with different eyes. They are not you. They are just events. Learn whatever you can from them and let them go.
Life is change. You can change, or life will change for you. Take the lead. Ask yourself what you want, and go for it. Take a leap of faith. Give a try to a new way of living. One where you are free, you choose, you decide. You don't have to continue living in a world where others tell you what your life is supposed to be, where everyone has an opinion about what you have to do except you. Ask yourself if you live in the country you want, in the place you love, if you have the job of your dreams, if you would instead like to do a different activity, what is your passion, what is your purpose, what relationships in your life you want to invest in or abandon. When you have all these answers, you will be able to design the life you want. Then it will be the moment to use your inner power to choose, and to set yourself free to live the life you truly desire.
"The secret to happiness is freedom... And the secret to freedom is courage"
Love is powerful. It is a force that transforms you and allows you to grow. Loving, you become the best version of yourself. Love is the force of your inner being, the fuel it needs to accomplish the agenda of your soul, and to do all you are capable of, even if you are not aware of it yet. The Love for everyone that crosses your path, and travels with you through the journey of your life, will transform your existence and theirs too.
Love is the way you relate with others and with the entire Universe. Love is who you are. It is within you like the seed of a plant that grows and whose flowers blossom. The Universe is waiting for you to open your heart, totally, unconditionally. Then, a new kind of Love will grow within you. A Love without barriers and limits, a Love for everything that exists, not only people or animals, but also nature, water, air, light... a Love that does not separate by the color of the skin, teams, countries, or religions. A universal Love, an unconditional Love.
Let me tell you what Love is and is not about. Love is not attachment, just being with someone, an agreement. Love is not sacrifice or stopping loving yourself to be able to Love others. Love is not sharing whatever is there; in Love we create together a new Universe. Love is not pain; Love has the power to heal you and others. Love is not need or possession, Love, because of its nature, is free like the wind. Love cannot be bought, acquired or controlled, or it stops being Love.
Can you imagine what kind of world you would create if instead of sending Love only to those that belong to your family, friends, and those you cherish, you sent it to everyone and everything? Let me guide you through a nice dream... Imagine that instead of bad mood, anger, hatred, control, jealousy... you will only receive Love. How would the entire world change if every one of us, every day, every moment, focused on sending Love and being open to it?
Hatred does not help you to solve anything. It is like a poison you drink that makes you sick while you are taking it. It may feel good at the beginning, but in the long term, it will only create sickness in you. If you keep hating, only you will become stuck. The person, situation, or the event you hate, might have changed or moved on, or forgiven themselves or you. It is not good or bad to hate; none of our emotions are good or bad, they are just indicators of how near or far we are from Love. Love only brings joy and happiness. If you are suffering for Love, then it is not Love, it is something else. Call Love and Love with come. Send Love and Love will arrive. Become Love and see yourself blossoming.
Whatever you go you will see Love. Travel around the world and see that independently of the language they speak, the climate, how rich they are or the location in the map, people believe in Love. In the middle of a conflict, war, or invasion, there is still Love. Love always survives. It cannot be destroyed and like energy, it constantly manifests and transforms itself. You don't need someone else to change the world. You can do it on your own. You have the most powerful weapon that has ever existed: it is Love. Are you ready to share your Love?
"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get -only with what
you are expecting to give- which is everything"
We have the tendency to become attached to people, a style of life, or a culture. When change arrives, we don't want to let go of what is known, and makes us feel secure and comfortable. But change is an unavoidable part of life. How are you going to grow if you don't allow your body to change, your cells to duplicate, your mind to develop? The same happens with your attitudes toward life, your belief system and your patterns of thought. They need to be updated from time to time.
The Universe will give you opportunities to become detached, to observe from a distance your life in this moment, in order to be able to create a new one. It happens when you are going to be a parent for the first time, for example. You don't know exactly what to expect, but in your mind there are a lot of ideas of what is going to happen. You have created a new world with your imagination, but the baby is not born yet.
But there are moments during our lives when you will need to practice neutrality and detachment, maybe towards the situation in your country, or how your parents, siblings, or children are managing a challenging situation, or when you have a health issue, and you need to decide what would be the best way to proceed in order to heal yourself.
You will be challenged again and again, until you learn non-attachment and neutrality. It does not mean that you stop caring, being compassionate or empathic. What it means is that you can observe anything that is happening to you, or around you, with a mindful attitude of detachment. As if it is happening to someone else, looking at it as an observer. When you do that you can be more objective, calm, and decide with wisdom what you need to do, or stop doing, in order to go through the life situation you are in. Give it a try next time you are in a challenging situation. Just observe it, don't try to resolve it. Look at it from different perspectives, be detached, and not involved for a moment.
"Why is this important?" you may be asking yourself. It is a key skill to develop because attachment is what provokes the most suffering in your life. Attachment to things that are good, and others that are not so good. Addictive behavior, being in relationships that are abusive, allowing others to mistreat you, not leaving a job you hate... all of these situations are related to attachment and a lack of Self-Love. If you want to be happy, truly joyful, allow life to guide you, don't become attached to anything, but Love everything.
"Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached"
Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want.