In the world we live is more necessary than ever to find a way to connect with ourselves. We are always doing, rushing, stressed, and feeling the weight of the world on our shoulders. It is important to find a way to recharge the batteries of your body, mind, and soul.
Find a daily practice that helps you stop the noise in your mind, the worry or fear. Figure out something that helps you to let go of the limitations and the pressure. You need an inner sanctuary. It is not a physical place; it is more a place inside of you where only you have access, your place. It is a place to relax, to unwind, an imaginary site where you can stop, relax, and find true peace.
People find relaxation through meditation, breathing exercises, the sounds of nature, watching the sun rise, sitting on the beach and listening to the sound of the waves, receiving a massage, or doing exercise. But the place I am describing can be accessed at any time. It should not require a lot of time for you to get there, or a special practice.
What I am suggesting is more of a pause, anytime you feel the need, to return home, a place to reconnect with who you are, with the eternal part of you, the one that is not limited by external circumstances. Try to pause during the day, and allow yourself to be centered and balanced again. Be sure you are in a meditative state throughout your day, not only when you have the time to do one of the activities that help you unwind or let go of stress.
Love is a pathway to arrive to this place. Love is the energy that connects all of us and that will allow you to connect with yourself. When you have a bad day, or feel sad, your mood changes in the presence of someone you really Love. The energy of Love is contagious. But you cannot rely on others to change your state of mind, or to solve your problems. Remember that Love is always there, within you.
You are Love and you always have access to Love. If you are having difficulties, if things don't look good, if you are facing problems and don't know how to solve them, go home. Go to this place that I have described, you will feel safe there. It is a space where you are supported, healed and guided. There you can have access to your higher self, a self that is connected with the Universe and with all that exists. There you will find solutions, answers and lots of Love.
"Love and peace of mind do protect us. They allow us to overcome the
problems that life hands us. They teach us to survive... to live now...
to have the courage to confront each day"
You were born free. You have the power to choose. You have options. You have the power to choose how to be, how to act, what to do with your life. You might be following certain rules, religious beliefs, educational patterns, or cultural ways of being, but at any moment, you can choose to change them and to create a new set of rules to live a happier life, a more fulfilled one. No one can dictate how you have live your life. It is entirely your decision. Everything in your life will change when you take responsibility of who you are, and start asking yourself questions about the way you really see life and want to live it.
It may seem to you that your life is decided for you, but not by you. You may think that the country where you were born, or the socioeconomic status of your parents, have influenced your life to a point where you will never be able to achieve what others already have. Maybe you think that your genes or the color of your skin determines the life you can have. Perhaps you believe that your childhood, the way you were raised, the lack of Love you experienced while you were a child will affect your life forever. Or you have arrived to the conclusion that your divorce, or the bankruptcy, or any other situation where you feel you failed, are signs that you are not good enough. This is not true!
You were born with certain life circumstances, but they are not you. You are much more powerful than you imagine. You cannot change past events, but you can change the way you are now, and build a totally different present and future. You do it with the power of your intention, your thoughts and your imagination, with the passion and commitment to become the best version of yourself, with the power of self-forgiveness, and by letting go what stops you from being authentically you. You are free to choose, every day, and every second of each day. You don't need to change your life circumstances. You only need to look at them with different eyes. They are not you. They are just events. Learn whatever you can from them and let them go.
Life is change. You can change, or life will change for you. Take the lead. Ask yourself what you want, and go for it. Take a leap of faith. Give a try to a new way of living. One where you are free, you choose, you decide. You don't have to continue living in a world where others tell you what your life is supposed to be, where everyone has an opinion about what you have to do except you. Ask yourself if you live in the country you want, in the place you love, if you have the job of your dreams, if you would instead like to do a different activity, what is your passion, what is your purpose, what relationships in your life you want to invest in or abandon. When you have all these answers, you will be able to design the life you want. Then it will be the moment to use your inner power to choose, and to set yourself free to live the life you truly desire.
"The secret to happiness is freedom... And the secret to freedom is courage"
Love is powerful. It is a force that transforms you and allows you to grow. Loving, you become the best version of yourself. Love is the force of your inner being, the fuel it needs to accomplish the agenda of your soul, and to do all you are capable of, even if you are not aware of it yet. The Love for everyone that crosses your path, and travels with you through the journey of your life, will transform your existence and theirs too.
Love is the way you relate with others and with the entire Universe. Love is who you are. It is within you like the seed of a plant that grows and whose flowers blossom. The Universe is waiting for you to open your heart, totally, unconditionally. Then, a new kind of Love will grow within you. A Love without barriers and limits, a Love for everything that exists, not only people or animals, but also nature, water, air, light... a Love that does not separate by the color of the skin, teams, countries, or religions. A universal Love, an unconditional Love.
Let me tell you what Love is and is not about. Love is not attachment, just being with someone, an agreement. Love is not sacrifice or stopping loving yourself to be able to Love others. Love is not sharing whatever is there; in Love we create together a new Universe. Love is not pain; Love has the power to heal you and others. Love is not need or possession, Love, because of its nature, is free like the wind. Love cannot be bought, acquired or controlled, or it stops being Love.
Can you imagine what kind of world you would create if instead of sending Love only to those that belong to your family, friends, and those you cherish, you sent it to everyone and everything? Let me guide you through a nice dream... Imagine that instead of bad mood, anger, hatred, control, jealousy... you will only receive Love. How would the entire world change if every one of us, every day, every moment, focused on sending Love and being open to it?
Hatred does not help you to solve anything. It is like a poison you drink that makes you sick while you are taking it. It may feel good at the beginning, but in the long term, it will only create sickness in you. If you keep hating, only you will become stuck. The person, situation, or the event you hate, might have changed or moved on, or forgiven themselves or you. It is not good or bad to hate; none of our emotions are good or bad, they are just indicators of how near or far we are from Love. Love only brings joy and happiness. If you are suffering for Love, then it is not Love, it is something else. Call Love and Love with come. Send Love and Love will arrive. Become Love and see yourself blossoming.
Whatever you go you will see Love. Travel around the world and see that independently of the language they speak, the climate, how rich they are or the location in the map, people believe in Love. In the middle of a conflict, war, or invasion, there is still Love. Love always survives. It cannot be destroyed and like energy, it constantly manifests and transforms itself. You don't need someone else to change the world. You can do it on your own. You have the most powerful weapon that has ever existed: it is Love. Are you ready to share your Love?
"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get -only with what
you are expecting to give- which is everything"
We have the tendency to become attached to people, a style of life, or a culture. When change arrives, we don't want to let go of what is known, and makes us feel secure and comfortable. But change is an unavoidable part of life. How are you going to grow if you don't allow your body to change, your cells to duplicate, your mind to develop? The same happens with your attitudes toward life, your belief system and your patterns of thought. They need to be updated from time to time.
The Universe will give you opportunities to become detached, to observe from a distance your life in this moment, in order to be able to create a new one. It happens when you are going to be a parent for the first time, for example. You don't know exactly what to expect, but in your mind there are a lot of ideas of what is going to happen. You have created a new world with your imagination, but the baby is not born yet.
But there are moments during our lives when you will need to practice neutrality and detachment, maybe towards the situation in your country, or how your parents, siblings, or children are managing a challenging situation, or when you have a health issue, and you need to decide what would be the best way to proceed in order to heal yourself.
You will be challenged again and again, until you learn non-attachment and neutrality. It does not mean that you stop caring, being compassionate or empathic. What it means is that you can observe anything that is happening to you, or around you, with a mindful attitude of detachment. As if it is happening to someone else, looking at it as an observer. When you do that you can be more objective, calm, and decide with wisdom what you need to do, or stop doing, in order to go through the life situation you are in. Give it a try next time you are in a challenging situation. Just observe it, don't try to resolve it. Look at it from different perspectives, be detached, and not involved for a moment.
"Why is this important?" you may be asking yourself. It is a key skill to develop because attachment is what provokes the most suffering in your life. Attachment to things that are good, and others that are not so good. Addictive behavior, being in relationships that are abusive, allowing others to mistreat you, not leaving a job you hate... all of these situations are related to attachment and a lack of Self-Love. If you want to be happy, truly joyful, allow life to guide you, don't become attached to anything, but Love everything.
"Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached"
Your emotions are real! Accept the way you feel. Your emotions are not lying to you. They are your guidance system, your compass in the sea of life. When a certain emotion shows up, it comes with a message. A very concrete and detailed letter addressed to you. This missive cannot be avoided or deleted. You need to read its content in order to understand it. You need to feel your feelings.
Sadness is not bad. We try to avoid it, but it contains a powerful message. It can be that something is wrong, you are going against yourself, you have lost someone or something valuable for you... Sadness wants you to reflect on the situation, on what happened, on why you feel the way you feel.
When you look at any emotion rising within you, look at it as a message directed to you. Allow the message to be delivered. Read it. Understand it. Feel it with all your senses and then let it go. You can only release the emotion when the work you had to do with it is done. Don't do it before but don't wait too long.
All emotions work the same way. We tend to categorize them in good or bad emotions, but they are all the same. You don't need to choose your emotions, they do the work for you, and show up when it is necessary, without their presence being requested.
You are wired to have feelings, but when you don't give them space to be, when you repress them, or when you reject them, they will keep coming to your inner home without hesitation or being invited, and at the worst moment. Emotions just want to be heard. Remember that it is ok to feel whatever you feel. Don't judge your feelings. A feeling is just a feeling. You decide its meaning in the way you understand and decode it.
A feeling has to be analyzed in the moment that it appears in your life. You may become attached to feeling a certain way because it can be useful to attract attention, or to solve any other issue you may have. A feeling can be modified by deciding to feel in a different way, but you should not do this before you are ready.
If you are grieving, grieve with all your being, if you fall in Love, do it totally and unconditionally, if you feel happy, enjoy it to the fullest, if you feel angry, feel it in your bones to be able to release it. When you feel, whatever life sends you, your existence becomes more interesting. Feel it!
"Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what
you are doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving
something outside yourself power over your happiness.
You can choose to not let little things upset you"
Love is a state of being. It is not something that comes from the outside. Love is not a feeling, it is who you are. Look deep inside of yourself and you will find it. Love is abundant. It comes from you and it flows outwards to everyone. Love resides in you and it is dormant, waiting until the moment you awaken it within you.
All the Love of the world cannot make you feel loved, if you are not able to Love yourself. You won't be able to recognize true Love coming from others, if you don't feel it coming from yourself. Love yourself simply because you are. You don't need to change or to accomplish anything to Love yourself. You only need to be committed to it.
You are lovable the way you are. Accept yourself, and have the certainty that you don't need to do anything to be loved by others. Don't seek for external approval. You don't need to act in a certain way to receive Love, or to behave like others say, or to please others. Love, true Love, is unconditional. Try to be the best version of yourself, but be always authentic.
Be sure that you live in the world of Love; that Love guides and inspires you; that you act in a Loving way. Love is the energy that makes you feel alive. Love is the solution to any problem. Find the way to share your Love. Tell your loved ones how you much you Love them, and demonstrate it with your actions. Give hugs, smile more frequently, embrace, kiss, share your laughter every time you can, share your joy.
Learn how to Love. Give Love, but don't lose yourself in the process. Learn how to show your affection without the need to control or possess, without expectations, without wanting anything in return, without being afraid of losing your loved one. Love because you want to Love. Enjoy the Love!
“In your heart is all the love you need”
Don Miguel Ruiz
Have you ever asked yourself what do I need to do change my Love life, to have happier and healthier relationships with others? Let me share with you that there is something very important you can do. It is to let go, to release and to forgive. You need to make room for the new to enter into your life, and this is a perfect moment to let go of the old. Let go of the pain, the betrayal, the grievance, the rejection, the abandonment, the loneliness, the sadness, the expectations, the resentment, the anger, the abuse, the arguments, the self-sacrifice, the pleasing others... Choose the words from the list that you can relate with, or make your own list.
We forget, but we don't release or forgive. But let me explain you that everything that you have ever experienced is recorded. You may not be aware, but most of your reactions in life are based in beliefs, ideas or patterns that are not conscious, they were created at one moment in time during your childhood, in the way you were raised, or how you felt at school or with friends, the relationships that you stablished throughout your life, even your relationships at work contributed. All those experiences made you, but they are not who you are. Inside of yourself there is a beautiful being, one that shines with his own light and that is full of Love and ready to share it.
All the experiences that you had around giving and receiving Love may have helped you to believe that Love and relationships are complicated. All the pain you suffered in so many different ways provoked the fear to showing who you really are, to being vulnerable and open to Love and to be loved fully. But there is a different way of Loving. There is a way to get a fresh start and it is to let go of all these experiences. You don't forget, delete or deny them, you just take their power away to continue ruling the way you establish or live your relationships. Remember the good moments, the Love that you felt in so many occasions when you authentically loved and felt loved. Then release, consciously, the pain and other emotions that are sabotaging your present and future relationships.
From now on dedicate some minutes to ask yourself if anything needs to be changed or released. Don't look at others as the source of your pain, look at yourself like the source of every one of your experiences. Know that you have power to transform your Love life, right now. Make yourself ready to let go of the past, forgive those who you think that hurt you, not because of they deserve it, just do it for you. Make yourself free from the past to be able to create a new future. You only need your commitment to decide to release a feeling, to stop holding on a situation, or to forgive yourself. You only need to Love yourself enough to do it. Make your happiness a priority.
Give yourself the opportunity to attract different partners, lovers, friends and colleagues. The kind of people who value you and respect you, who Love you for who you are. You can do it by start recognizing your own value, appreciating it, and learning how to respect yourself. Once you Love yourself no matter what, the people that will be in your life will Love you either. Prepare the way for a new kind of Love by letting go everything that is not serving you, that it is not true, that it is stopping you. Open yourself and your heart to Love. Love is not dangerous, when it is true Love.
"Let today be the day you finally release yourself from the imprisonment of past grudges and anger. Simplify your life. Let go of the poisonous past and live the abundantly beautiful present... today"
The end of the year is here. Maybe you see your life passing year by year. And this one is almost finished. Humans live in a linear idea of time. There is a past, a present and a future. But life can only be lived in the present. You can only appreciate your life and all its moments if you are able to be there, with 100% of your energy involved.
Think about the last time you were ‘in the moment’. If you have children and also work, your mind can be scattered between the tons of things you have to do for your family, appointments, clients, and you may feel that you cannot survive without multitasking. OOr maybe you carry your work home, your clients, the worry about finances, the multitude of emails to answer... Can you be present with all of these in your mind? Yes, you can.
When the New Year starts, or right away if you want to, think differently about your life. See it as a collection of moments, all of them so precious, that you don’t want to miss any of them. It is like watching a very good movie without commercials. It is so good, that you don’t want to leave the room to go to the bathroom, because you don’t want to miss an important scene or dialogue. It is so interesting, that you cannot find a boring moment to disconnect from the movie.
This is the movie of your life. Make it as interesting as any of the best movies you have seen. Where the main character takes any necessary risks to be happy, where they overcome any past hurt, where they face challenges as a hero and not as a victim. Be the protagonist of the movie, not the secondary actor or actress. You write the script, with every thought, word and action, with your energy. It is your life, and only you can make it worth living.
Life is a process and it is also instantaneous change. One day your partner leaves you, and another day you find your Soul Mate, one day you get fired, and another day you get the job of your dreams. Time is passing... tic, tac, tic, tac. Can you hear the clock? You should not listen to it. Because the most wonderful secret of life is that time does not exist... it is a human conception. Everything is happening in a continuous now. Your essence is eternal. You have had so many lifetimes before, and you will have many more. Take the pressure off yourself, and live your life, and your New Year, to the fullest.
"What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner"
Sidonie Gabrielle Colette
Is your reality far away from what you really want? When did you stop going after your dreams? When did you give up on your hopes? If you are not living the life you want, take some time to reflect on what is important for you and invest all your energy on it. Everything is possible if you believe it is. Allow the Universe to help and guide you to achieve what you desire and is best for you.
Maybe you had lots of dreams, and imagined a great life when you were young. Then life happened, and things did not turn out the way you expected. You are not in your twenties anymore, and you give a thought to your abandoned dreams and hopes from time to time, but you usually think that it is too late to make them happen; but it is not.
Let me assure you that there is no excuse for not doing what you want, what makes you happy, alive, fulfilled and passionate. You should not allow yourself to live an unfulfilled life, a life without joy and purpose. Don't focus your attention on what is not working the way you want, invest all your energy and attention on what is important for you.
Every minute counts. Don't wait any longer. Figure out what is the most important thing in your life right now and go for it. Don't procrastinate your happiness. Don't postpone what makes you feel alive. It does not make sense. The reason why you are on Earth is to figure out what makes you happy and do it. Contribute to everyone's happiness. Happiness is contagious.
There is nothing more important than you, absolutely nothing. Your health, your wealth, your relationships, your career... your life, depend on understanding that you have to invest time and energy in finding out what is important for you, and in finding the way to enjoy it.
It does not matter what you want for yourself and your life. You can have it all, but you have to believe that it is possible. This is the obstacle that most of us encounter in the path to manifesting our desires. We feel that we don't deserve the experiences, the Love, the money, the health, the job... that we want so madly. If you want, really want, to achieve something in your life, stop working hard toward it, believe that it is already yours, that you can have it.
Invest time in figuring out what you are doing that is not working, what is not allowing you to have it, what is holding you back. Understand what is important for you and why it's not arriving to you easily and smoothly. When you discover what the cause is, and how you sabotage your own efforts, consciously or unconsciously, you will be able to change it, and ready to receive all you deserve.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover"
When you are in a close relationship, it is very easy to lose yourself and to stop being who you are for the wellbeing of the relationship. One of the most difficult lessons in my life has been to learn to stand up for myself. I cannot remember how many times I gave myself up to avoid upsetting my partner or loved one. In the past, I asked my partner to fulfill my needs, to make me happy, or to solve my problems, when I was not able to do it for myself. I played the role of a victim, because I did not Love myself. True independence is achieved when you are able to maintain your sense of self while you are in a relationship. I know it now, and I believe that it is what you need to establish happy, long lasting, and healthy relationships.
It can be easy to establish a relationship with someone with whom you feel so connected that you just want to be one with this person. You love each other so much and want to be together all the time. This happens when you fall in Love, at the early stage of a relationship. But relationships evolve, change and transform, and if you don't allow the relationship to move forward, you create dependence, co-dependence. Then, in the name of Love, you start living your life the way the other person wants; in order to maintain the relationship, you give up the necessary space to continue growing and become who you truly are.
One of the most common fears that I see in single people nowadays, is the fear or losing their independence if they establish a committed relationship. It can be totally unconscious. If you have it, this fear can sabotage all efforts to find the right partner, and complicate any potential relationship you may start. This fear comes from the idea that commitment equals sacrifice. It is based on the belief that a serious relationship with another being who will accept you the way you are, and who will not ask you to change or try to control you, is not possible, or that this person does not exist.
In order to become truly independent you need to learn to Love yourself. You have to be true to yourself, and to accept yourself the way you are, learn how to set up healthy boundaries, and to say no when necessary. When you know who you are, you can Love yourself no matter what. This kind of Love, unconditional Love for yourself, is what will allow you to Love others the same way, and to have an attitude of independence in your relationships, while enjoying a close union. Remember that we learn valuable lessons through the relationships that we are in. Every interaction with another being is an opportunity to learn something about yourself, to learn how to Love and be loved.
"Life cannot be without relationship, but we have made it so aganizing and hideous by basing it on personal and possesive love. Can one love and yet not possess? You will find the true answere not in escape, ideals, beliefs but through the understanding of the causes of dependence and possessivenes" - Jiddu Krishnamurti
Judith Costa is a Life and Love Coach, Seminar Leader, Writer and Speaker. She has a Masters degree in Psychology & Psychotherapy and an MBA. She helps her clients to overcome their blocks to Love, to Love themselves and to manifest the relationship they want.